It’s September Bizarros! That means it’s time to get serious with the Halloween spirit. So grab your pumpkin spice dildos and get ready!
If this music video of Tim Curry dressed as an 80’s vampire and channeling David Bowie doesn’t put you in the Halloween mood, nothing will! I’ve never watched The Worst Witch, but apparently it’s pretty dull aside from this incredible music video that comes out of nowhere.
As you might have noticed, I watch a lot of youtube. One of my favorite youtube channels is “Ask a Mortician” where a mortician answers cool questions about death, from death shits to foreskin wedding rings. I love Caitlin!
Typing of death, here is my favorite Nightmare on Elm Street death of all time. It involves twink Johnny Depp, a bed, and a lot of blood! Thanks Wes Craven for giving the world one of the best monsters of all time and inspiring some inventive kills.
Nothing says Halloween like Vincent Price dressed as a polar bear, in a wine cooler commercial. Nothing.
I’ve been binge watching Key & Peele lately because they’re hilarious. It’s great to see comedy taken to its full artistic potential with social commentary and theatrical silliness. Key & Peele are talented as fuck. Their range of characters is impressive. I’m sad that this will be their last season but they put out some amazing comedic content that I’ve been watching over and over again. Their “Sexy Vampires” sketch is a must watch. It brings up the serious question of vampire stereotyping in films.
Watching horror movies is the best way to get into the spirit of the season. Blood for Dracula is on my Halloween rotation every year and still makes me laugh. I love Udo Kier so much. In this film, he’s is a sexy vampire who is having some trouble finding virgin blood to keep him alive. I’m sure I’ve posted this before since this is such a classic movie with one of my favorite movie lines of all time:
You can watch the full movie here for now:
So Bizarros, what are your favorite things to do to get you into the Halloween spirit? Any favorite movies or creepy places in your area?
I guess I should start actually counting.
21 days until Halloween!
To celebrate American Horror Story: Coven. I deemed it necessary to make an epic witch post.
The first episode of AMH was ok but rather anti-climactic. I have a feeling it won’t be as amazing as last season. It’s pretty hard to beat a vintage mental institution, freaks, and nuns, but Jessica Lange as “The Supreme” will make this show amazing just like her incredible acting stole the show the first two seasons. Add Angela Bassett and Cathy Bates into the mix and there is some room for some seriously flawless acting skills that will make you bow down.
There were many moments in this first episode that gave me happy goosebumps so that’s a good sign! Coven also does have an awesome intro.
Can’t wait for the next episode. The promos have certainly been stunning, let’s hope this season will live up to the hype:
The show takes place in New Orleans and of course mentions the Salem Witch Trials where women, mostly, were tortured and burned alive during a bought of deadly religious fanaticism during the late 1600’s.
Here’s a list of people executed for witchcraft.
There’s also reports of children being killed in the UK for being suspected of witchcraft. Witches are being persecuted to this day but at least in most parts of the world, people are allowed to practice magick without fear of being tortured and murdered.
Anyone can be accused as a witch. During the height of the witch trials, the methods used to “test” for witchcraft including dunking the person in water to either force a confession or kill them and also throwing them into the water. It was believed that a witch would survive being drowned by floating to the top.
Another, even more brutal method was the pressing, where the person was crushed underneath heavy stones until they were made to confess to being a witch. They also had their fingers crushed with iron crushing devices, stretched, poked with various devices, and basically victims to the sadistic whim of the crazy assholes who wanted to harm them.
Also if the accused had a strange birth mark, this was enough to prove they were a witch. The witch’s mark was believed to be where the devil would put his seal and own the person.
Authorities in the witch trials routinely stripped an accused witch of clothing and shaved all body hair so that no potential mark could be hidden. Pins were driven into scars, calluses and thickened areas of skin: the practice of “pricking a witch”. Customarily, this routine was performed in front of a large crowd. Medieval inquisitors also believed that the Devil left invisible marks upon his followers. If after stripping and shaving, the accused witch was found to have no likely blemishes, pins were simply driven into her body until an insensitive area was found.
I actually do have a witch’s mark, not just a mere mole, but an inch deep hole on my lower back that a needle can fit through without harming me. I would have totally been burned alive had I been born in the wrong country or century!
The best movie about the persecution of witches is Mark of the Devil. with the sexy Udo Kier. who plays a witchfinder who falls for a sexy woman accused as a witch. The promo for the film when it was released in 1970 was great. They rated it “V for violence” and gave out free sick bags to the theater audience.
Totally worth a watch. I love Udo Kier. It’s very gory but the torture in the film was actually what was done to people accused as witches.