by David L. Tamarin
A special post-Thanksgiving treat. This piece was previously published here. Basically, pay attention to what you’re eating.
Nausea, Vomiting, Bluish Tint in Genital Region, Unprecedented Pubic Hair Growth, Desire to touch self in public inappropriately, facial tics, priapism, fever, anal rash, bleeding orifices, sense of unreality, repeating other people’s words, glowing green feces, impotence, skim milk lactation in women, bright red thick, viscous semen in men, vomiting, hair growth in eyeballs, penis growth from forehead, nipples occurring in random places, vomiting meatballs, psychosis, homicidal ideation, coprophagia, temporary levitation, jaundice, foul-smelling sweat, tongue tumors, urinating diarrhea, inappropriate laughter, hysteria, schizophrenia, synesthesia, vein disintegration, confusion, anti-social behavior, death, premature aging, formation of tail, blindness, Republicanism, spontaneous orgasm, xenophobia, paranoia, crotch rot, skin sloughing, absurdist mental state, immortality, bizarroids.
David L Tamarin is a writer, actor, and attorney. He is Chief Corpsepondent for Girls and Corpses magazine and also writes for www.severed-cinema.com/uglyworld. He co-wrote the film Countess Bathoria’s Graveyard Picture Show and is obsessed with Octo-Mom, phencylclidine, and melting clowns.