The cult section of the literary world

Posts tagged “paranormal

Halloween Chaos Countdown: Spooky Bizarro News Roundup!

  • Can’t carve worth a shit? You can buy a California organic “Pumpkenstein.” The price for this molded monster masterpiece? $75!
  • In more monster pumpkin news, this 2,058 pound pumpkin set a record.

brown recluse

  • Just in time for Halloween, the “Wasco Clown” is creeping out residents in this California town. More clowns are popping up all over Bakersfield, even arming themselves with knives. But that’s not weird for Bakersfield since that place is like Florida, only smaller.
  • And yes Florida is still the weirdest city in the U.S.  This Florida man said he could speak to animals and claimed some property as his since his sister was burned there as a witch. All while wielding a chain over his head. After being shot he “began dancing and flailing his arms.”
  • A teenage girl dies during an exorcism in an Indian town.
  • Exorcisms are not only still popular, but there are more exorcisms in the U.S. than ever before. The Catholic church has 10 “official” U.S. exorcists and there are hundreds of exorcism ministries in operation today.

ebola chan

And for our final spooky story in this Halloween edition of the Bizarro New Roundup:

Until next time Bizarros!


Bizarro News Roundup!

News of nonstop war and social collapse getting you down? Didn’t know that shit was happening? Doesn’t matter! It’s time to slide on down for a Bizarro News Roundup!

tumblr_inline_mnodgxY0kf1qz4rgp

bookshop

  • We did not revert back to the 80’s…well actually some of us never left, but technically it’s 2014 and Weird Al has topped the Billboard charts:

bridal

  • D.C. hospital rodent infestation is so bad that rodents are crawling up vaginas. That’s pretty bad. Good thing those vaginas were already dead.
  • You no longer need to be a serial killer to have your very own human skin furniture! Looks, feels, and smells like the real thing. Just what you always wanted.

human_skin_furniture_620

Until next time Bizarros!


Twisted Tuesdays: Bizarro News Roundup!

Unfortunately, the story about Gordon Ramsay’s midget porn star double being eaten by badgers was an old hoax but damn that was one hell of a headline!

Gordon-Ramsay-sex-dwarf-eaten-by-badger

It’s been awhile since I’ve updated you on the weird shit happening around the world so here’s the latest Bizarro news!

Swiss-cheese

weirdfish-455138

788d53a2e8664bebaa274203bab6d16b

haggis-300x239

UFO Feature-1352106

189cveyvn0sdwjpg

1389794775

Until next time Bizarros!


Halloween Chaos Countdown: Cuntius, the stinking vampire of Pentsch, 1582

17 days until Halloween!

vampire child

Time for a bit of weird history and the sad tale of a stinky vampire by the name of Cuntius…

Via Alpha History

In 1582 residents in a village in Silesia complained of visitations from a bad-breathed vampire named Cuntius. Before joining the ranks of the undead, Johannes Cuntius had been a respected citizen and aldermen in Pentsch. In February 1582 Cuntius was fatally injured after being kicked by one of his “lusty geldings”. Before expiring Cuntius lingered for several days, complaining of ghostly visions and feeling like he was on fire. According to one witness, at the moment of his death a black cat entered the room and jumped onto his bed. As befitted his civic status, Cuntius was entombed near the altar of his local church. But within a few days several townspeople reported receiving visits from the dead man. All described a “most grievous stink” and “an exceedingly cold breath of so intolerable stinking and malignant a scent as is beyond all imagination and expression”. A whole litany of annoyances and harassments was attributed to the vampire, including accusations of: 

“…Galloping up and down like a wanton horse in the court of his house… Miserably tugging all night with a Jew [and] tossing him up and down in his lodgings… dreadfully accosting a wagoner, an old acquaintance of his, while he was busy in the stable [and] biting him so cruelly in the foot that he made him lame… [Entering a] master’s chamber, making a noise like a hog that eats grains, smacking and grunting very sonorously…”

The people of Pentsch tolerated these nocturnal visits until late July, when they resolved to exhume Cuntius’ coffin and deal with his wandering corpse. They found that his:

“…skin was tender and florid, his joints not at all stiff but limber and moveable… a staff being put into his hand, he grasped with his fingers… they opened a vein in his leg and the blood sprang out fresh as in the living.”

After a brief judicial hearing Cuntius’ body was thrown onto a bonfire and burned, then hacked to pieces and crushed to ashes. As might be expected, the spirit of Cuntius ceased its nocturnal visits. By coincidence, the village of Pentsch became the town of Horni Benesov – the ancestral home of US Secretary of State John Kerry.

Source: Various inc. Henry More, An Antidote against Atheism (Book III), 1655.


Halloween Chaos Countdown: Bizarro Youtube Party

18 Days Until Halloween!

creepy vintagge eye tv

One of my favorite ways to interact with people online is to exchange weird youtube videos with them. It’s like a bizarre online mating dance, especially when they post something really twisted you’ve never seen before that totally speaks to you. Youtube partying with someone is showing someone a window into your mind and looking into theirs, and being like “wow they are just as fucked up as I am!” It’s comforting and sexy. I love twisted minds with twisted tastes!

beathead

I’ll post 12 videos to get the Bizarro youtube party started. Feel free to post some links to weird videos you like in the comments! Show me how twisted you are!

twisted mind

Someone made a toy doll version of The Human Centipede and shows you how to make one too:

It would also be a good costume:

Human-Centipede-Halloween-Costume

One of those found footage, Blair Witch-type shorts, “No Through Road” was a video found in car with 4 dead 17-year-old boys.

And now for the weather:

Nothing puts me in the Halloween spirit like SKELETONS! Especially vintage ones!

Slenderman has some competition. Meet Mr. Welldone:

OMG Everything is Terrible made a dog version of The Holy Mountain!

DWPW_Posterfinal

Someone made a surreal video for “Fear of the Future” by The Residents. The results are mind-blowing!

A robot head dancing to Mambo No. 5

Animatronic Hitler head singing “Snails IS People Too”

I can’t make a Halloween countdown youtube post without posting a Fewdio video. One of the best horror short movie makers on youtube! The story lines are always original and creepy. This is a great one about a Vaudeville couple and a ventriloquist dummy.

Great stop-motion tribute to David Firth.

Another great youtube account is MrCreepyPasta who narrates some of the best creepypasta stories.

Big thank you to Joe Holliday for sharing some of his youtube porn collection with me! Now post your creepy youtube porn in the comments!

bear


World Horror Cinema: Thailand

By Sam Reeve

shutter poster Title: Shutter

Year: 2004

Language: Thai

My rating: 7/10

Not to be confused with the bad American remake, Shutter is a great Thai horror with plenty of creepiness to go around. Like many Asian horror films, it features a female ghost with long black hair who haunts the shit out of a bunch of people and crawls around on all fours. Besides this staple, Shutter is a fresh plate of horror with some surprises and a good cast.

Tun, a photographer, and his girlfriend Jane are driving home late one night from a wedding party when they run over a girl. Tun insists on speeding off despite Jane’s wishes. It doesn’t take long for strange things to start happening after the accident, though upon inquiry they discover no one was taken to the hospital that night. Spirit-like marks show up on Tun’s photos, and both he and his girlfriend have terrible nightmares. Haunted day and night by what seemed to be a vengeful spirit, Jane starts looking into the spirit photos for clues and uncovers Tun’s dark past and the identity of the ghost.

2065

Shutter is definitely not to be missed. One thing I noticed about the film (and loved) is it only had a single scene that was funny. One little bit of comedic relief, and the rest was just horror and mystery. For the curious, I’ve posted that scene below, because it’s total gold. Below that you’ll find the full movie with English subtitles. Seen Shutter? Let us know what you think in the comments below!


Twisted Tuesdays: 13 Creepy/WTF Websites

internet mold

Most of these sites are from the “golden age” of the internet and some are newer. They all have something in common, whoever created them wanted to scare you, make you go “WTF,” or even join their apocalypse cult. Enjoy!

1) Dong Ghost, a creepy Korean comic translated in English. Proceed at your own risk!

2) More WTF than creepy. It’s entertaining. Just keep clicking.

tumblr_mjg5igheYR1qgleipo1_500

3) If there was ever a haunted site, magibon is it.

4) Official site of the Nike-wearing doomsday cult. Prepare for an internet time warp!

5) Occult magick fun. Abracadabra.

6) ” WARNING: This website contains both a hypnotic induction and subliminals and is both mentally and psychologically toxic.” 

7) “WWYS® has been formed by a consortium of international companies – including leading financial and genetic research institutions – to create a product that gives you an actual CASH VALUE for your soul.” 

8) WhatHappenedtoSarah is a great “clicky” paranormal site with high quality creepy vimeo videos.

9) Want the latest updates on the Loch Ness monster and other cryptozoology news?

10) TV without context is the best kind of TV.

11) Don’t worry, this won’t give you a virus. Internet on speed. Keep clicking.

12) Are You Living In a Computer Simulation?

13) Take a trip through old school internet hell here and here.

Now I’m feeling nostalgic.

hallo_gif_skull_blueflame_2