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Posts tagged “nostalgia

Twisted Tuesdays: Chaos Reigns! Halloween Countdown Foreplay!

Ever watch Antichrist? That movie is intense. It was written and directed by Lars von Trier while he was having an epic bipolar meltdown so I watched it in the theater and also had a bipolar meltdown. He’s that good! Watch it if you haven’t already. Watch everything by von Trier, that man knows how to mindfuck!

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And thus begins the Halloween Chaos Countdown, which officially begins October 1st and does indeed fall on next week’s Twisted Tuesday! Every single day until All Hallows’ Eve I will post a little fucked up Halloween internet Advent calendar for you to open up and eat with your mind. But until then I’ll post a little something every day to whet your whistle until the official Halloween Chaos Countdown begins.

Here’s a sneak peak of what’s in store:

Did you know William Burrough’s wrote a graphic novel? Well he did and it’s fucking incredible!

The Quietest Place on Earth Will Drive You Insane Within 45 Minutes

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The Northhampton Clown has now been caught on tape!

clown crepy

Korean surrealist artist,  Choi Xoo Ang’s, sculptures will burn into your brain.

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Ever hear of the Chair of Death?

How about the Mercy Brown Vampire Incident?

dick and jane and vampires

Speaking of vampires, Matt over at Dinosaur Dracula started his awesome retro/80’s/90’s childhood nostalgia countdown on August 30th! THAT is some dedication! Way to go Matt!

To help get you into the Halloween spirit, and just in case you missed it, you can also check out last year’s Creepypasta Countdown.

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Feel free to help me out with the countdown by submitting any random links, art, videos, music, etc. to tracyvanity(at)gmail.com

Let the Halloween chaos begin!

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Twisted Tuesdays: Behind the Scenes of A Clockwork Orange, 1971

“There was me, that is Alex, and my three droogs, that is Pete, Georgie, and Dim, and we sat in the Korova Milkbar trying to make up our rassoodocks what to do with the evening. The Korova milkbar sold milk-plus, milk plus vellocet or synthemesc or drencrom, which is what we were drinking. This would sharpen you up and make you ready for a bit of the old ultra-violence.”

“One thing I could never stand was to see a filthy dirty old drunky howling away at the filthy songs of his fathers and going blurp blurp in between as it might be a filthy old orchestra in his stinking rotten guts;I could never stand to see anyone like that. whatever his age might be, but more especially when he was real old like this one was.


 “Oh bliss, bliss and heaven… Oh, it was gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh… And then, a bird of rarest-spun heaven metal, or like silvery wine flowing in a spaceship, gravity all nonsense now… I knew such lovely pictures”

“A bit cold and pointless, isn’t it, my lovely? What you got back home, little sister, to play your fuzzy warbles on? I bet you got little save pitiful portable picnic players. Come with uncle and hear all proper. Hear angel trumpets and devil trombones. You are invited.”


“I’ve suffered the tortures of the damned, sir…tortures of the damned.”

“What we were after now was the old surprise visit. That was a real kick and good for laughs and lashings of the old ultraviolent.”

“The Durango ’95 purred away a real horrowshow – a nice, warm vibraty feeling all through your guttiwuts. And soon it was trees and dark, my brothers, with real country dark.”




 “And the first thing that flashed into my gulliver was that I’d like to have her right down there on the floor with the old in-out, real savage.”




“No time for the old in-out, love, I’ve just come to read the meter.”

“It’s funny how the colours of the real world only seem really real when you viddy them on the screen.”

“I was cured all right.”

Photos via Dangerous Minds

This is my favorite film of all time. I’ve watched it over a hundred times and still get goosebumps. Kubrick was a master and it is impossible to not be in awe of how flawless this film is. From the acting to the set design to the cinematography, Kubrick’s OCD perfectionism is clear. From all that I’ve read about him, he was not easy to work with but his movies are classics that still hold up decades later.  Also Malcolm McDowell as Alex DeLarge is the droog of my dreams!

Bonus:

Great interview with Malcolm McDowell about what it was like to act in A Clockwork Orange as well as how Kubrick wasn’t as bad as people say. They got along fairly well. Also, McDowell talks about the alternate ending in the UK version of the book:


Twisted Tuesdays: Disney is fucking evil!

by Tracy Vanity

I have a total love/hate relationship with Disney. Like everyone, I grew up watching Disney movies and shows and have been to Disneyland hundreds of times so there is that nostalgic connection. As I got older though, much like with everything in my life, I poked around for the “dark” side and found some interesting twisted things about the Disney company as well as many fucked up fan art devoted to The Mouse.

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As much as I find Disney to be this villainous, corporate empire, I still love twisted Disney shit.

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Today’s Twisted Tuesday is dedicated to the dark side of Disney, both real and “imagineered.”

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My favorite bit of weird Disney history is this vintage Mickey Mouse mini-comic called “Mickey and the Medicine Man” where Mickey and Goofy discover a liquid form of speed called “peppo” and become speed dealers!

You can read the whole comic at Erowid. It’s very entertaining.

Here is an episode of a Minnie Mouse cartoon that was banned in the U.S. for being too disturbing for kids. In this episode, Mickey asks Minnie to take care of Pluto. Throughout the episode, Pluto thinks Minnie is trying to kill him. Only the Polish version is available but it’s subtitled in English.

Minnie can be quite an evil bitch.

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While we’re on the subject of Disney death, here is a list of some deaths at Disneyland Parks care of Disney Wiki:

-On October 6, 2010, a 53-year-old cleaner, subcontracted to Disney, became trapped underneath a boat on It’s a Small World when the ride was inadvertently switched on while it was being cleaned. The man was taken to a hospital where he later died.

-On June 26, 2007, an unnamed 14-year-old girl lost consciousness on Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster. Paramedics attempted to revive her, but she died before the ambulance arrived. A ride inspection showed no mechanical problems.

-On May 2, 2008, a businessman leapt to his death from his 14th floor balcony at Disneyland Hotel. He was later identified as John Newman, Jr., a dentist from Santa Cruz, California. The hotel has been host to at least two other suicides. In 1994, a 75-year-old man jumped from the ninth floor and was declared dead at the scene. In 1996, a 23-year-old man committed suicide by jumping from the 14th floor. In 1998, a 23 year-old Walt Disney Co. employee jumped from the 14th floor and survived the fall.

-In April 2003, a 36-year old stage technician fell 60 feet from a catwalk in the Hyperion Theater, prompting an investigation by the California Occupational Safety and Health Administration (Cal/OSHA). The victim did not regain consciousness following the incident and died on May 18, 2003. In October 2003, Cal/OSHA fined the Disneyland Resort $18,350 for safety violations related to the crew member’s death.

-On July 8, 1974, cast member Deborah Gail Stone, 18, of Santa Ana, California was crushed to death between a revolving wall and a stationary platform inside the America Sings attraction. She was in the wrong place during a ride intermission; it was unclear whether this was due to inadequate training or a misstep. The attraction was subsequently refitted with breakaway walls.

-On January 3, 1984, 48-year-old Dolly Regina Young of Fremont, California was thrown from a Matterhorn Bobsleds car and struck by the next oncoming bobsled. An investigation showed that her seatbelt was found unbuckled after the accident. It is unclear whether Young delibrately unfastened her belt or if the seatbelt malfunctioned.

-In August 1967, 17-year-old Ricky Lee Yama of Hawthorne, California was killed while jumping between two moving PeopleMover cars as the ride was passing through a tunnel. Yama stumbled and fell onto the track, where an oncoming train of cars crushed him beneath its wheels and dragged his body a few hundred feet before it was stopped by a ride operator. The attraction had only been open for one month at the time.

Those are just a few of the many deaths at Disneyland, there have also been various severe injuries and altercations with “cast members,” my favorite being a recent incident where the White Rabbit pushed & cussed out some annoying teenagers who were messing with his tail.

He should have bitchslapped her. Don’t fuck with Wonderland!

Of course there are loads of reports of weird, paranormal things happening in the Magic Kingdom. My favorite is this creepypasta about some scary shit that went down on the Small World ride:

In 1999, my family visited Disneyland. We happily rode the Small World ride. I was 12 at the time and my sister was 6. We loved every moment and our parents smiled with nostalgia. At one time near the end, some lights suddenly shut off and rear lights illuminated the ceiling. The moving display parts shut off and crew members wearing red overalls walked along them to help passengers in the boats onto the stages to direct them out of the building via emergency exits. A voice came over the loudspeakers. “Disneyland thanks you for your visit. Please evacuate the attraction in an orderly fashion. Keep looking foward and follow the directions of staff. Thank you.”

The staff wouldn’t tell us much as they quickly ushered us out of the building. Ambulances were outside and a police car was parked in the main walkway. At the time, my mother still had her camera out and snapped a few photos of the crewmen and close-ups of the mechanical children. She snapped a few last-minute photos of whatever to use up the last of the roll of film on the camera, since we were going to develop them later that afternoon, anyway. This was the last photo on the reel, aimed at the ceiling at the attraction.

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The popularity of dark Disney imagery, creepypastas, and weird Disney facts on the internet has to do with the wholesome image Disney prides itself in trying to achieve/kill people for when everyone knows they are really this evil empire who have taken over the world.

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What kind of twisted Disney post would this be if I didn’t mention the Disney/Illuminati connection?

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Did you know Disney has this entire creepy, Stepford Wife town in Florida called Celebration where people have been murdered? The dads in Celebration also swap robot wives to relieve boredom.

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I will leave you with this fun link to a Disney shoot-em-up game called Los Disneys. The premise is pretty amazing:

The year is 2015. Steeped in national debt, the United States reluctantly allows the Walt Disney Company to purchase the entire peninsula of Florida in the largest geographic acquisition since the Louisiana Purchase. Under its new president, formerly-ousted CEO Michael Eisner, the newly-sovereign state is renamed Los Disneys. Your job is to infiltrate the Magic Kingdom, blasting your way through animatronic pirates, holographic ghosts, tourists, security guards and even Mickey himself in an attempt to seek and destroy the frozen head of Walt Disney. However, doing so inadvertently triggers Eisner’s doomsday device… unless you can stop it…

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Twisted Tuesdays: Candle Cove

by Tracy Vanity

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A classic creepypasta you might have heard already but worth posting in case you haven’t. It’s a personal favorite of mine. I love a good ole’ internet urban legend!

Back in the early 70’s there was a children’s TV show called “Candle Cove.” It aired on a local station in a small town in the U.S. The show was random with spooky, scary skeletons and dolls and a very creepy pirate as the host. The show scared every child who watched it. Some people still have nightmares about it to this day. Especially one episode in particular which ended with all the characters screaming.

Fast-forward to 2009 to an internet forum about local television nostalgia. Someone posts about their memories of “Candle Cove” and how weird it was. Other members chime in and say they remember it too and that it freaked them out as kids. One member describes a particularly disturbing episode. Here is the full thread courtesy of www.ichorfalls.com:

Candle Cove

by admin on Mar.15, 2009, under By Kris Straub

NetNostalgia Forum – Television (local)

Skyshale033
Subject: Candle Cove local kid’s show?
Does anyone remember this kid’s show? It was called Candle Cove and I must have been 6 or 7. I never found reference to it anywhere so I think it was on a local station around 1971 or 1972. I lived in Ironton at the time. I don’t remember which station, but I do remember it was on at a weird time, like 4:00 PM.

mike_painter65
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid’s show?
it seems really familiar to me…..i grew up outside of ashland and was 9 yrs old in 72. candle cove…was it about pirates? i remember a pirate marionete at the mouth of a cave talking to a little girl

Skyshale033
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid’s show?
YES! Okay I’m not crazy! I remember Pirate Percy. I was always kind of scared of him. He looked like he was built from parts of other dolls, real low-budget. His head was an old porcelain baby doll, looked like an antique that didn’t belong on the body. I don’t remember what station this was! I don’t think it was WTSF though.

Jaren_2005
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid’s show?
Sorry to ressurect this old thread but I know exactly what show you mean, Skyshale. I think Candle Cove ran for only a couple months in ’71, not ’72. I was 12 and I watched it a few times with my brother. It was channel 58, whatever station that was. My mom would let me switch to it after the news. Let me see what I remember.

It took place in Candle cove, and it was about a little girl who imagined herself to be friends with pirates. The pirate ship was called the Laughingstock, and Pirate Percy wasn’t a very good pirate because he got scared too easily. And there was calliope music constantly playing. Don’t remember the girl’s name. Janice or Jade or something. Think it was Janice.

Skyshale033
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid’s show?
Thank you Jaren!!! Memories flooded back when you mentioned the Laughingstock and channel 58. I remember the bow of the ship was a wooden smiling face, with the lower jaw submerged. It looked like it was swallowing the sea and it had that awful Ed Wynn voice and laugh. I especially remember how jarring it was when they switched from the wooden/plastic model, to the foam puppet version of the head that talked.

mike_painter65
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid’s show?
ha ha i remember now too. ;) do you remember this part skyshale: “you have…to go…INSIDE.”

Skyshale033
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid’s show?
Ugh mike, I got a chill reading that. Yes I remember. That’s what the ship always told Percy when there was a spooky place he had to go in, like a cave or a dark room where the treasure was. And the camera would push in on Laughingstock’s face with each pause. YOU HAVE… TO GO… INSIDE. With his two eyes askew and that flopping foam jaw and the fishing line that opened and closed it. Ugh. It just looked so cheap and awful.

You guys remember the villain? He had a face that was just a handlebar mustache above really tall, narrow teeth.

kevin_hart
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid’s show?
i honestly, honestly thought the villain was pirate percy. i was about 5 when this show was on. nightmare fuel.

Jaren_2005
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid’s show?
That wasn’t the villain, the puppet with the mustache. That was the villain’s sidekick, Horace Horrible. He had a monocle too, but it was on top of the mustache. I used to think that meant he had only one eye.

But yeah, the villain was another marionette. The Skin-Taker. I can’t believe what they let us watch back then.

kevin_hart
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid’s show?
jesus h. christ, the skin taker. what kind of a kids show were we watching? i seriously could not look at the screen when the skin taker showed up. he just descended out of nowhere on his strings, just a dirty skeleton wearing that brown top hat and cape. and his glass eyes that were too big for his skull. christ almighty.

Skyshale033
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid’s show?
Wasn’t his top hat and cloak all sewn up crazily? Was that supposed to be children’s skin??

mike_painter65
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid’s show?
yeah i think so. rememer his mouth didn’t open and close, his jaw just slid back and foth. i remember the little girl said “why does your mouth move like that” and the skin-taker didn’t look at the girl but at the camera and said “TO GRIND YOUR SKIN”

Skyshale033
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid’s show?
I’m so relieved that other people remember this terrible show!

I used to have this awful memory, a bad dream I had where the opening jingle ended, the show faded in from black, and all the characters were there, but the camera was just cutting to each of their faces, and they were just screaming, and the puppets and marionettes were flailing spastically, and just all screaming, screaming. The girl was just moaning and crying like she had been through hours of this. I woke up many times from that nightmare. I used to wet the bed when I had it.

kevin_hart
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid’s show?
i don’t think that was a dream. i remember that. i remember that was an episode.

Skyshale033
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid’s show?
No no no, not possible. There was no plot or anything, I mean literally just standing in place crying and screaming for the whole show.

kevin_hart
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid’s show?
maybe i’m manufacturing the memory because you said that, but i swear to god i remember seeing what you described. they just screamed.

Jaren_2005
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid’s show?
Oh God. Yes. The little girl, Janice, I remember seeing her shake. And the Skin-Taker screaming through his gnashing teeth, his jaw careening so wildly I thought it would come off its wire hinges. I turned it off and it was the last time I watched. I ran to tell my brother and we didn’t have the courage to turn it back on.

mike_painter65
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid’s show?
i visited my mom today at the nursing home. i asked her about when i was littel in the early 70s, when i was 8 or 9 and if she remebered a kid’s show, candle cove. she said she was suprised i could remember that and i asked why, and she said “because i used to think it was so strange that you said ‘i’m gona go watch candle cove now mom’ and then you would tune the tv to static and juts watch dead air for 30 minutes. you had a big imagination with your little pirate show.”

I have located that episode of “Candle Cove.” I do not take any responsibility for what watching this video will do to your psyche…

Happy Twisted Tuesday Bizarros!

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Twisted Tuesdays: Shit That Creeped You Out As A Kid

by Tracy Vanity

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I asked the Bizarro staff to tell me what shit scared them when they were lil’ demons. Their answers were quite entertaining and random. It shows you that even the most imaginative, fucked up minds can get creeped out by E.T.!

Tracy: Hey Bizarro clan, were there any TV characters, films, toys, etc. that creeped you out when you were little?

Michael Allen Rose (Patron Saint of Sporks & author of Party Wolves in my Skull): Weirdly enough, there was a segment on Sesame Street where Maria would do an impression of Charlie Chaplin from his old silent films. I don’t know if this was because of the gender-confusion, or because of the silence of the character on the screen, but something about those segments sent me crying to my room in terror. (This was when I was very small). I imagine it was just a combination of the unfamiliar things I mentioned above that just creeped me out to a point of incoherent gibbering. :P

Sam Reeve (Pirate, Bizarro editor, X-Mas annihilator, Empress of Awesome, & Weekly Weird Art Curator): I hated ET, thought it was a scary movie.

Cameron Pierce (Exorcist, Elephant Beetle Enthusiast, & author of Die You Doughnut Bastards): The Gate.

CV Hunt (Lucid Dream Alchemist, Jewel Thief, & author of How to Kill Yourself): I had a hard time sleeping at night when I was a kid because of Freddy Kruger.

Rob Harris (Griffin Wrangler & Professional Cheese Sprayer): Watership Down had some terrifying parts in it.



Bradley Sands (Space Travel Agent & author of TV Snorted My Brain):
Books with “true” ghost stories kept me awake at night, but I couldn’t stop reading them. I think there was an anthology of true spooky stories that freaked me out more than the rest called The Crystal Skull (or something like that), but I can’t find out any info about it. Also, a TV movie called The Haunted scared me, particularly this scene:

Eric Hendrixson (Chief of the Cannibal Unicorn Division & Bread Boss): Cereal with milk. I had no problem with milk or dry cereal, but when you put them together, they turned into something strange and disturbing.

Also, I thought they built public monuments wherever someone famous died and that they made the statues by pouring concrete over the corpses, so the body was still inside the monument. Since I was in Europe, there were monuments all over the place.

Also Fantasia.



Kevin Shamel (resident zombie slayer, T-Rex tamer, googly eye connoisseur, and author of Island of the Super People):
Sleestaks on Land of the Lost freaked me out when I was little. And a couple of the monsters on this old Japanese mecha show. There was also a book about a pond with this huge shadowy ancient thing that wanted to eat swimming kids that my teacher read when I was in first or second grade that kept me out of water for a long time. (it was a huge old turtle)

Jeff Burk (moonshine maker, neon ninja, & author of Cripple Wolf): The 1971 Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. It just always filled me with unease. I know Wonka and the Oompa-Loompas wanted to violently violate those kids and eat the corpses.

Carlton Mellick III (wizard, Part-Time Czar, Spaghetti Yeti behaviorologist, & author of Cuddly Holocaust, Hammer Wives, Apeshit, and Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland to name a few of his many, many awesome books): This for some reason creeped me out when I was 5 years old:

Nice answers guys! So how about the rest of you Bizarros? What creeped you out as a kid?

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Twisted Tuesdays: You Chose Wrong!

by Tracy Vanity

I love tumblr! Whatever niche you’re into, be it birds with arms or William Shatner’s package, there’s a tumblr for it. My favorite tumblr by far is You Chose Wrong which is a tumblr dedicated to deaths in Choose Your Own Adventure books! Here are 9 of my favorite Choose Your Own Adventure ways to die:

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If you love Choose Your Own Adventure books and don’t already have a copy of Ocean of Lard, get it! It’s a beautifully fucked-up Bizarro homage to these classic books:


Vanity’s Creepypasta Halloween Countdown Day # 24: Storytelling

by Tracy Vanity

So the original meaning of “creepypasta” is a creepy story on the internet, told either through email (remember those annoying chain mail emails back in the late 90’s?) or any type of social networking/website. These stories can be about anything: from paranormal phenomena to mysterious deaths….as long as it’s a creepy story you read on the web, it’s a creepypasta.

Think Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark for the internet age.

Fuck, those drawings are awesome!

So creepypasta can be a couple silly sentences long or an entire outdated website full of links and pictures of a very long and detailed creepy story. (Holy time warp Batman, when’s the last time you’ve seen an Angelfire site?) You can even write a creepypasta of your own!

With people’s short ass-attentions spans, the more recent creepypasta have come in the form of pictures or videos. Here is a video of “The scariest picture on the internet.” It promises to haunt your psyche forever and bring bad luck to whoever sees it.

Meh…I’ve seen scarier. And if you’re been following my Creepypasta Halloween Countdown then so have you!

The Grifter” is a well-known creepypasta and a personal favorite, 2nd to Slenderman of course!

The story of The Grifter is very similar to Ringu, except using the internet instead of a VHS tape. It’s supposed to be the most disturbing video on the internet and if you watch it, it will fuck you up forever and you could possibly even die. The actual footage varies depending on who is telling the story and posting the link but being as I am deep in the bowels of the Land of the Creepypasta, I have found the actual Grifter video.

Be careful, you’ve been warned. I am not responsible for your fate if you choose to click “play.”

Not spooky enough? Wait until you see what I have in store for you for Halloween!

So here is a little creepypasta of my own:

The Phone Call

I was a latchkey kid. I’ve been taking care of myself since I was about 6. Both of my parents worked full-time and I preferred staying home by myself than having my crazy Mormon aunt in charge of me.

So I was about 7, just chilling alone at home for the summer, watching TV…most likely watching Darkwing Duck or Tailspin and eating Kid Cuisine when I get a phone call…

“Hello?” I expected it to be my mom or dad but all I hear is this man laughing on the phone.

“You have the wrong number” I tell him and hang up.

Phone rings again. Again I say “Hello” and the man laughs again and says “I know where you are.”

I tell him to fuck off and hang up. Phone rings again… “That’s not nice Tracy. I’m coming over.”

I have no idea who the fuck this guy is or how he knows my name…I’ve never heard that voice in my life but even decades later I know exactly what that voice sounds like and I still have a vivid mental picture of what I imagine him to look like.

He tries calling again a couple times but I don’t pick up. When the phone finally stops ringing I frantically dial my dad’s work number. Someone I assume is his co-worker answers and I ask for my dad by name, “José.”

“This is José.” It’s that fucking man again! How the fuck did he end up on the other end of the phone? And he laughs again as I slam the phone down.

I finally get a hold of my actual dad and he rushes to the apartment and searches around the building and doesn’t see anyone. The man never calls back again.

I told this story to my ex-husband and he said something similar happened to him as a kid. A man he didn’t know kept calling and scaring the shit out of him while he was home alone. Has this ever happened to you? Could it be the same guy that got off to calling latchkey kids in Los Angeles and creeping them the fuck out in the 90’s?

That’s a big reason why “The Babysitter” story from Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark scared the shit out of me, that shit actually happened to me! Ever since then, I’ve hated the sound of my phone ringing.

Please share some of your own creepy stories!


7 days until Halloween!