by Tracy Vanity
I asked the Bizarro staff to tell me what shit scared them when they were lil’ demons. Their answers were quite entertaining and random. It shows you that even the most imaginative, fucked up minds can get creeped out by E.T.!
Tracy: Hey Bizarro clan, were there any TV characters, films, toys, etc. that creeped you out when you were little?
Michael Allen Rose (Patron Saint of Sporks & author of Party Wolves in my Skull): Weirdly enough, there was a segment on Sesame Street where Maria would do an impression of Charlie Chaplin from his old silent films. I don’t know if this was because of the gender-confusion, or because of the silence of the character on the screen, but something about those segments sent me crying to my room in terror. (This was when I was very small). I imagine it was just a combination of the unfamiliar things I mentioned above that just creeped me out to a point of incoherent gibbering. :P
Sam Reeve (Pirate, Bizarro editor, X-Mas annihilator, Empress of Awesome, & Weekly Weird Art Curator): I hated ET, thought it was a scary movie.
Cameron Pierce (Exorcist, Elephant Beetle Enthusiast, & author of Die You Doughnut Bastards): The Gate.
CV Hunt (Lucid Dream Alchemist, Jewel Thief, & author of How to Kill Yourself): I had a hard time sleeping at night when I was a kid because of Freddy Kruger.
Rob Harris (Griffin Wrangler & Professional Cheese Sprayer): Watership Down had some terrifying parts in it.
Bradley Sands (Space Travel Agent & author of TV Snorted My Brain): Books with “true” ghost stories kept me awake at night, but I couldn’t stop reading them. I think there was an anthology of true spooky stories that freaked me out more than the rest called The Crystal Skull (or something like that), but I can’t find out any info about it. Also, a TV movie called The Haunted scared me, particularly this scene:
Eric Hendrixson (Chief of the Cannibal Unicorn Division & Bread Boss): Cereal with milk. I had no problem with milk or dry cereal, but when you put them together, they turned into something strange and disturbing.
Also, I thought they built public monuments wherever someone famous died and that they made the statues by pouring concrete over the corpses, so the body was still inside the monument. Since I was in Europe, there were monuments all over the place.
Kevin Shamel (resident zombie slayer, T-Rex tamer, googly eye connoisseur, and author of Island of the Super People): Sleestaks on Land of the Lost freaked me out when I was little. And a couple of the monsters on this old Japanese mecha show. There was also a book about a pond with this huge shadowy ancient thing that wanted to eat swimming kids that my teacher read when I was in first or second grade that kept me out of water for a long time. (it was a huge old turtle)
Jeff Burk (moonshine maker, neon ninja, & author of Cripple Wolf): The 1971 Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. It just always filled me with unease. I know Wonka and the Oompa-Loompas wanted to violently violate those kids and eat the corpses.
Carlton Mellick III (wizard, Part-Time Czar, Spaghetti Yeti behaviorologist, & author of Cuddly Holocaust, Hammer Wives, Apeshit, and Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland to name a few of his many, many awesome books): This for some reason creeped me out when I was 5 years old:
Nice answers guys! So how about the rest of you Bizarros? What creeped you out as a kid?