No one knows where or what Tower Ltd Surprise Packages is or why it’s sending gifts to complete strangers across The City. All they know is that each package is the best thing that’s ever happened to them…or the worst.
In one box is a packet of seeds that allows you to grow your perfect date. In another there’s a cupcake that causes anyone who eats it to grow eyeballs all over their skin. There’s also a parcel with a mousetrap that turns all your enemies tiny. Or you could receive your autobiography, which when signed, makes your every thought famous. Or maybe even a key to a secret door that leads to another dimension where all your unfinished and abandoned projects exist. But with each package received comes both fortune and misfortune that will surely result in unexpected consequences.
Like a season of episodes from The Twilight Zone or Friday the 13th The Series, comes a collection of dark and humorous stories from the premier British female author of bizarro fiction.
Get it here
Madeleine Swann is here with a special offer for her newest release from Eraserhead Press, FORTUNE BOX! Check it out!
Bizarro Con is almost a whole year away, and many of us still have great memories of the 2017 bizarro fiction convention. Bizarro Con is the most magical time and place on earth. Not Bizarro Con is a yearlong slog of boredom and normalcy. Luckily, Madeleine Swann created a lovely video log of her experience at last year’s Bizarro Con. I’m posting it here in the dead of winter to help us get through the next ten months until the magic time returns.
And a round of applause for Ms. Swann, also. You can check out more of her weird videos over on her YouTube channel.
Here comes some of that ultra-modern video web logging! Madeleine Swann and Christoph Paul are hard at work providing content that moves and talks on your screen. First is Ms. Swann, who catalogs some of her favorite weird books…
and Christoph with some writing advice…
by Madeleine Swann
I can hear Simon breathing behind me. His black body is as comforting as it always is and his shadow joins the others in the dark early morning room, a contrast to my pale flesh and long blonde hair. His warmth reaches me from his side of the bed. I decide to stay awake otherwise I’ll be groggy when I get up. I blink.
When I open my eyes again I see I’ve not managed this simple task. In the distance is a marzipan kingdom with a marzipan castle, and the sugary ground stretches out as far as the eye can see in white, baby pink and soft blue. A flesh and blood terrier yaps at my feet and I know he’s mine, even though I don’t own a dog in real life. I lean down to pet him and he licks my face. When I straighten up he’s standing in front of me, the Marzipan King.
“Yum, sweetmeats, thanks!” he says as he picks up the dog, swallowing it in one mouthful. I feel annoyed as I’d started to get attached to him.
“That’s fine,” I say, hoping he notices the sarcasm in my voice.
“Want to come to my magic kingdom?” he says with a leer and a wink. I realise he’s kind of a dick.
“Not really,” I say.
“Oh.” He looks disappointed and folds his arms. “Well, I thought you were ugly anyway.”
I want to hit him but I’m too shocked to move. “I think I’d like to wake up now,” I say eventually.
“Fine, whatevs,” he says dismissively. As I feel myself fading his Marzipan hand shoots out. “Poob,” he says in a high pitched voice as he grabs my breast and squeezes. I simply stand there and let him as this isn’t the kind of thing that’s supposed to happen. When I open my eyes I’m back in bed. I’m relieved and turn to Simon, snuggling into him. I’m a bit troubled when I smell sugar in his hair.