It’s September Bizarros! That means it’s time to get serious with the Halloween spirit. So grab your pumpkin spice dildos and get ready!
If this music video of Tim Curry dressed as an 80’s vampire and channeling David Bowie doesn’t put you in the Halloween mood, nothing will! I’ve never watched The Worst Witch, but apparently it’s pretty dull aside from this incredible music video that comes out of nowhere.
As you might have noticed, I watch a lot of youtube. One of my favorite youtube channels is “Ask a Mortician” where a mortician answers cool questions about death, from death shits to foreskin wedding rings. I love Caitlin!
Typing of death, here is my favorite Nightmare on Elm Street death of all time. It involves twink Johnny Depp, a bed, and a lot of blood! Thanks Wes Craven for giving the world one of the best monsters of all time and inspiring some inventive kills.
Nothing says Halloween like Vincent Price dressed as a polar bear, in a wine cooler commercial. Nothing.
I’ve been binge watching Key & Peele lately because they’re hilarious. It’s great to see comedy taken to its full artistic potential with social commentary and theatrical silliness. Key & Peele are talented as fuck. Their range of characters is impressive. I’m sad that this will be their last season but they put out some amazing comedic content that I’ve been watching over and over again. Their “Sexy Vampires” sketch is a must watch. It brings up the serious question of vampire stereotyping in films.
Watching horror movies is the best way to get into the spirit of the season. Blood for Dracula is on my Halloween rotation every year and still makes me laugh. I love Udo Kier so much. In this film, he’s is a sexy vampire who is having some trouble finding virgin blood to keep him alive. I’m sure I’ve posted this before since this is such a classic movie with one of my favorite movie lines of all time:
You can watch the full movie here for now:
So Bizarros, what are your favorite things to do to get you into the Halloween spirit? Any favorite movies or creepy places in your area?
Hello Bizarros! I’m working less and feeling the Halloween buzzzz. This means that Twisted Tuesdays will return next week, followed by the annual Chaos Countdown. So tune in because I have a lot of weird, crazy, creepy shit to share with you!
In the meantime, have a Bizarro Photoblast to whet your whistle!
It’s Dia de Los Muertos already, I was too busy getting wasted and putting on zombie makeup to make a post on Halloween proper but here’s my belated Halloween gift to you. A bombardment of creepy pics!
You should play this song while viewing them.
Bonus: My friend sent me this awesome video for Halloween that another friend described as a “horror snuff film.” This should have been V/H/S Viral instead of that crap it ended up being. It’s creepy and has some hot sex!
Hope you had an amazing Halloween and enjoyed this year’s Halloween Chaos Countdown. What did you dress up as?
It’s Devil’s Night Bizarros! Time to play some pranks, set fire to shit, and hail Satan! You can even name your cat, dog, or kid, after a demon.
Speaking of animals, here are 6 animals who surely came from the depths of hell or were at least named after The Dark Lord.
1) Ayam Cemani (Gallus gallus domesticus)
This Indonesian chicken is the blackest animal in the world. Even its bones and meat are black!
2) Jacob Sheep (Ovis aries)
Baphomet incarnate, Jacob sheep can have 2-6 horns and are aggressive enough that they are used as guards in farms.
3) Satanic Leaf Gecko (Uroplatus phantasticus)
Found only in Madagascar, these geckos look a lot like dragons.
Aside from looking cool, they don’t really do anything demonic. They just use their cool tail which looks like a dead rotting leaf to lure prey.
The common and scientific names of this species refer to a local superstition: it is associated with a “wet” plopping sound, repeated twice, that may be heard in the nighttime in its habitat. Locals believe this bird to be a demonic entity that tears the eyes of sleeping people out, hence the sound. 
5) Anopheles Mosquito (Anopheles gambiae)
Why is a mosquito on this list? Because it’s the deadliest animal in the world. This little bugger spreads malaria which kills over 600,000 people a year!
6) Blackdevil fish (Melanocetus johnsonii)
These deepsea anglerfish are monstrous creatures.
“The female lurks in the dark, drawing in prey with her glowing lure, while the male attaches to her like a blood-sucking parasite. Females can swallow prey larger than their own bodies.”
Bonus: Old school documentary on Satan and demonic possession with Boyd Rice singing “Total War” in the intro! A classic!
3 Days Until Halloween!
3 more days until Halloween!
(All photos courtesy of Paul Koudounaris)
Paul Koudounaris is paranormal catnip. Unexplained and weird phenomena gravitate towards him like death moths to a preternatural flame. He specializes in finding the most unique shrines to the dead which also sometimes end up finding him.
He has extensive knowledge of ossuaries, sex ghosts, charnel houses, weird history, demonic cats, death rituals, funeral rites, and of course, skeletal bling, among many other things. Between travelling to exotic locations, taking stunning pictures of the dead, he also gives lectures on the aforementioned subjects.
Paul was kind enough to answer a few questions about his unique line of work, paranormal experiences, as well as give some tips on how to buy a human skull!
4 days until Halloween.
(from a Humpty Dumpty horror graphic novel)
As are vintage Halloween kids…