By Sam Reeve
Mysterious New York-based illustrator SCARECROWOVEN is a fan of gore, guts, and oozing appendages. His gnarled creatures take a cue from ‘comic books, sci-fi and horror movies and all the illustration that came out of the skateboard world in the 80’s.’ He describes himself as an alien emissary sent to our planet 12 million seven hundred thousand years ago, but in more earthly terms he is a graduate of the graphic design program at New York’s School of the Visual Arts.
Check out the gallery below, and afterwards head over to his website here. He’s got shirts, posters and other cool stuff for sale!
By Sam Reeve
Language: English and Swedish
My rating: 8/10
The Swedes haven’t produced many horror movies, but when they do, they do it right. Evil Ed is a horror comedy that pokes fun at the splatter genre (as well as censorship) and doesn’t take things too seriously. It’s funny, cheesy, and wonderfully executed.
Fun fact: despite being filmed in English with Swedish actors, their voices were dubbed over by American actors for comical reasons.
Edward, a meek film cutter who previously enjoyed his work, is transferred to the “splatter and gore” department. The company wants to distribute a series of films called “Loose Limbs” to the European market, but must censor some of the violence. The graphic violence and horror of the movies get to Ed’s head, and he starts having visions and acting stranger each day.
I urge you to watch the film’s opening scene. It’s one of the best things ever and introduces you to Ed’s asshole boss.
Evil Ed is flawless if you like bad movies and have a sense or humour. Plenty of people don’t like it, but they’re butt heads who lack the aforementioned qualities. The dialogue is probably the funniest, and there are some pretty memorable lines. “Where’s my beaver-rape scene!?” will forever be floating around in your head, making you chuckle.
If Army of Darkness if on your list of favourites, you’ll fancy Evil Ed something fierce. You can watch the full movie below on Youtube.
By Sam Reeve
My rating: 5/10
In an effort to share horror movies from as wide a range of countries and continents as possible, I’ve had to resort to watching some that are mediocre at best. Africa is particularly short in this genre, so it was slim pickings for what I could find. Night Drive is a bad (but still entertaining) slasher story set in a nature reserve. The first half is pretty painful to get through, but I found the second to be enjoyable and with redeeming qualities.
A group of tourists are taken out on a night drive, a night-time tour of a game park to see the wildlife. Meanwhile, there’s been a lot of murders in the park by poachers, but these aren’t the ordinary ones hunting for ivory. These guys are ripping out tongues and genitals from live, screaming humans. They work for the Hyena Man, a terrifying witch doctor with vague and sinister intentions.
After their jeep breaks down the tourists are left at the mercy of these evil dudes, but luckily a few bad asses are amongst them – the tough guide with a clichéd scar on his face, and his eye candy ex-cop son who came on the trip to scatter his mom’s ashes.
Night Drive sucks in the beginning because the director/writer/whoever got too caught up with the characters’ back stories, and there were WAY too many flash backs. The second half is much more focused on the remaining characters’ fight for survival and the acting was even stepped up a notch during the more brutal scenes.
My favourite parts were the gore and Hyena Man costume, since both were very well-done. He was a more unique antagonist than many I’ve seen, so it helped keep it a bit fresher. Lord knows the rest of the characters were ones we’ve all seen a million times in bad horror movies.
Below is the trailer, and below that is the full movie (painstakingly uploaded by yours truly). Enjoy!
By Sam Reeve
My rating: 5/10
Gore is now a staple in many horror movies, so this month I wanted to include at least one that was ultra-gory and extreme. Nacho Cerdà’s Aftermath is a short film that certainly delivers the blood guts, but with no dialogue and very little plot, so this review will be brief. IMDb describes the “plot” best:
A short film wherein a man working in a morgue mutilates and defiles one of the corpses. He takes the heart home to his dog.
I give points to the filmmaker for having great gore effects overall, but points are deducted because it followed the same standard Hollywoodized autopsy protocol, and it looked nothing like the real thing. Having no dialogue really didn’t help this film either. I once got to watch an autopsy video on a field trip in 10th grade, and that video was still more entertaining despite Aftermath having an intense necrophilia scene.
So, my final verdict is that it’s worth seeing once for the good special effects and for being disturbing, but you’ll otherwise be thankful for its short length (unless gore is really your thing).
Below is the full movie.
By Pat Douglas
Guts is a bad motherfucker in a bad, bad world. The government nuked the sky ten years ago to combat a super fast spreading virus that turns humans into blood thirsty, ravenous killing machines that look more like giant, mutated bats than people. The new sky kills these “vampires” instantly, but at a cost. The entire planet is slammed with mega-high doses of radiation every time the sun comes up, completely changing life on earth as we know it, and completely decimating what little civilization there is left. In Nuke Town, Guts wakes up in a strange motel with no memory of how he got there. A brother and sister duo are the only two humans in sight, but are they friend or foe? As the paranoia sets in, and Guts begins to understand the true implications of a nest of sophisticated, mutated vampires, he must use all the cunning and skills that his years in the wasteland have taught him if he hopes to survive the horror that awaits him in …VAMPIRE GUTS IN NUKETOWN!
Vampire Guts in Nuke Town, by Kevin Strange.
This book is splatter-thrash-gore fest-frenzy-smash! If that were a genre, I guess. Ha, anyway… this was my first time picking up a book by author, Kevin Strange. So I didn’t really know what to expect. The cover it strange. The publisher is strange. The author is even strange. Well that’s just a lot of strange! And it fits: This book is strange. And the truth is, that is the best way to describe it. The opening chapter lays the work for the world you will be entering. From there we meet the main character and move forward into a weird tale. If you can get past that first little loll in the book then you will be glad you did. The farther in you get the grosser it gets. Kevin has a knack for the descriptive. When the guts and goo are splattering across the page you can smell it. You taste it. It’s nasty. And when you think it couldn’t get any deeper, the gritty grime keeps on coming. This is what I liked and hated about the book. I enjoy a book that can make my stomach turn, but at the same time I felt like it was a little over done at times. Gore just for the sake of gore rather than letting the story flow. Although there were some up and downs with pace, over all, I was happy with the story. I loved the characters and all their quirky little defects. The pace was strong and engaging.
If you’re looking for a new twist on vampires… a bizarro twist that laughs mockingly at Twilight, then look no further. This book will make you throw up while laughing.
Have a book you want reviewed?
My name is Pat and I frequently stop in with bizarro book reviews. The types of reviews I do are simple, short, and to the point. If you want me to review your book just shoot me a message. My goal is to do at least one Bizarro Central Review a month. If I can get around to more than that, awesome. But no promises. You can check me out at http://indie-inside.com
by Tracy Vanity
I just watched Poltergeist for the first time over the weekend. Maybe I saw it as a kid and just don’t remember. Of course that “They’re heeere!” part is familiar and the image of the creepy little blonde girl touching the static television is everywhere. I wasn’t impressed by it. It was too long in parts and just too E.T. and wholesome for my liking. I wasn’t surprised Spielberg was all over that project but for some reason didn’t direct it. It felt like he did. I loathe Spielberg films. It wasn’t incredibly awful but it’s not going on my Halloween movie rotation. You know what movie is on my Halloween rotation that sounds like Poltergeist but is a fuckton better? Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead!
Troma has been around for almost 40 years and Poultrygeist is the most critically acclaimed of all of their films. I can see why. Of course I love Troma’s purposely campy gorefests like Surf Nazis Must Die and the Toxic Avenger films, but Poultrygeist has something aside from the campiness, tits, shit, and splatter. Dare I say it has a message?
Sure there’s projectile vomiting, shit, tits, guy in a meat grinder, Ron Jeremy, and a chicken zombie apocalypse…to not totally spoil the film for you…but as The Guardian stated in a glowing review of the movie:
“Poultrygeist isn’t subtle. In one scene a rectum is ripped out and tossed on a sizzling griddle. It’s a wonderfully bold satirical comment on the chemical-industrial food complex that poisons us all, and one that forces us to ask why – in the 118-year history of the cinema – have we never been shown this before?”
No wonder Poltergeist sucked, no ripped out rectums! Not even a splatter of blood or a nipple! I can’t believe I sat though that shit!
by Tracy Vanity
Time for another trip down the twisted rabbit hole into the Bizarro part of youtube. Here are 9 Bizarro videos that are hopefully new to you, or if not, they are fun fucked-up revisits! Ready? Let’s go!
I. Entitled “Puzzles” in Russian, the maker of this video’s website is also a puzzle. I love puzzles!
II. Now for something paranormal, a hitchhiker caught on tape. Nice ending.
So the Aliens use Moviemaker (with the standard “aged film” setting) and occult pictures from Google along with sea lion sound effects???
Oh come on, where is your sense of fun Adonis King? Ok, maybe a dying astronaut did not post a real life alien transmission on youtube but it is still a cool video.
IV. So here is a longer short with an actual storyline based off of a short story from Ten Sorry Tales by Mick Jackson. Beautiful animation and of course creepy!
V. EVERY video by the late Shaye Saint John is gold, it’s impossible to pick just one so please check out all the videos on her youtube channel. RIP you talented bitch! She continues to be a big inspiration and people always post her videos all over the internet which is awesome. Here is a classic video she made about youtubing and internetting:
For more about Shaye check out this excellent documentary by Larry Wessel:
VI. Speaking of talented bitches, if anyone belongs on the Bizarro TV channel it’s the TV Sheriff!!! I first saw this guy live in Los Angeles 7 years ago when he performed in some warehouse party for experimental electronic musicians. I was blown away by his full- functioning TV belt buckle, trippy video projections about Mac N’ Cheese and 80’s childhood nostalgia, and have been addicted to him ever since. He really doesn’t make enough videos but when he does it’s fucking gold!
VII. Nice visuals, cool ambient beats, and I have a soft spot with youtube videos with just numbers or a number as a title.
VIII. I’ve been going a bit too easy on you. Time to really creep you the fuck out. This video might help:
This footage was taken from a 30-minute “documentary” shot in Brazil, by evangelical Christians missionaries, called Hakani. The footage is fucked up but evangelical Christians missionaries are even more so…could totally be staged and most likely is. Still creepy though.
IX. Ending with a classic I haven’t seen since I was a teenager. Someone uploaded the original 4 Faces of Death films on youtube so if you really want to see some twisted shit, here you go. I warn you though, these movies even disturbed me and you know how fucked up I am…
Have a Twisted Tuesday Bizarros!