Almost 3 months until Halloween! Muahaha!
While I try to come up with an epic Halloween countdown for Bizarro this year, let’s delve into Twisted Tuesday shall we?
I believe that dreams reflect something about your psyche that you don’t consciously realize. All the loose ends of your day and your life are being pieced together and processed as you sleep and you end up seeing images and experiencing things that might not make any sense but do have meaning. Dreams can give you clues on how to resolve problems you may have or help make decisions you have been mulling over. Dreams can also just be mindfucking the shit out of you which is always fun.
Curious to delve into the Bizarro psyche, I asked the Bizarro Cult to tell me the last dream they remember. There answers were very entertaining. Here’s what they said:
Michael Allen Rose (Author of Party Wolves in my Skull)
The last dream I had…
I was standing around in a strange blue room – maybe a locker room – looking at myself in the mirror, trying to see if I had any muscles left from my 20’s, flexing my arms and such. I was suddenly surrounded by other guys. No scary machismo or anything, but these guys all had huge muscles. I felt a little underwhelming just then, so to break the ice, I complimented one of the guys on his biceps. He looked at me oddly, and then when I looked again, I realized that he was now missing an arm. They were all missing arms. Muscles or not, at least I still had both my arms.
Ross E. Lockhart (Tales of Jack the Ripper)
Oddly enough, I dreamed about the Little Red Shed at the Edgefield last night. Is it November yet?
Brandon Armstrong (The Deadhead Shelters)
Funny you ask cause last night in my dreams I basically went into every shop in my neighborhood, started a fight with the owners and got lifetime bans from each place. A pretty vivid and disappointing dream
John Skipp (Latest story can be found In Heaven, Everything Is Fine: Fiction Inspired by David Lynch)
In the dream, I was at a great elegant garden party. Pretty much fun, as I recall, until someone said, “Look! A lion!” So I looked up, and there on the ridge, behind a wire fence, was this mountain lion, beautiful and powerful and big as a man.
And I thought wow, I’m glad that fence is there…suddenly it was climbing onto the top branches of the enormous tree I was standing beside — the tree that led straight down into the garden party — which is where the lion went…and there was a woman standing beside me, who I stood in front of as I backed us both up, feeling the enormous cat brush against my legs, then move past, deeper into the party, hundreds of people parting to make way.
And there, behind them, was my dog Scoob.
And I went, “Fuck! SCOOB!” and started to run, looking for a branch I could use as a weapon. And there were sticks, but they were spindly. I couldn’t kill a fucking duck with those things, much less a mountain lion.
So I scoop up the pointiest one I could find, and keep running…and the mountain lion is on its hind legs, holding Scoob up by the throat. And I cannot get there fast enough…
Next thing I know, Scoob is in the pond that suddenly appeared. And I think, “Oh, thank God! It won’t follow her into the water…”
And then I’m staring at my ceiling. Going FUCK. And running downstairs to hug my dog. Who was fine.
Steve Lowe (You Are Sloth!)
Two nights ago, I shared a taco with Bruce Greenwood, circa 13 DAYS. Shared, as in, he ate from one end while I ate from the other.
Gary Arthur Brown (Kitten)
I had dream last week that I was in an Emergency Room, and I wasn’t sure why, but I knew something was really wrong with me. I kept going to the counter to explain my symptoms, but they just kept poo-pooing me because I wasn’t making myself sound sick enough. Then I realized that I must have a hernia, which by dream logic, could explain all the symptoms. So I go back to the counter to explain about the hernia, and this kielbasa-sized piece of intestine shoots out from near my groin and starts wriggling around like an eel on a line. And the attendant looks at me and says, very calmly, “Okay. We’ll get you seen pretty soon.”
Constance Ann Fitzgerald (Trashland A Go-Go)
I often dream of crowded places like futuristic shopping malls and there being a sudden panic where everyone is running around trying to escape from something. I never see it.
Except when I used to ja those super vivid dreams about tsunamis.
Once it was a water park and there was a zombie outbreak. That was kind of fun.
In the most recent dream I was throwing all of my possessions into a small red sedan. Trying to get the fuck out of wherever I was. I went to load a large item into the back seat and the car started moving. I just sat down and let it happen. I looked to my left and seated next to me in the car was a skeleton hooked up to an EKG machine. It flatlined and I stared at it for a moment before reaching over to shut it off. Just to make the beeping stop.
Then it sat up and pointed a bony finger at me and said “I’m dying and you don’t even care!”
The car stopped and I grabbed one suitcase from the pile and went into this really nice house where the hall was filled with art and statues. Loaded. All of them catholic imagery. My mom showed up with my dad (who is a redhead, but in the dream he had dark brown hair) and i told them that my new place was shitty, small and right around the corner so I would probably be spending a lot of time here.
Sam Reeve (Bizarro editor, bear wrangler, and owner of a new robot ninja eye)
The other night I had a terrifying dream about being on a cargo ship that was sinking in a storm. Probably was inspired by Life of Pi which I saw a few months back. Shitty dream.
CV Hunt (Thanks For Ruining My Life)
I had a dream less than a week ago that Sam Reeve was on trial, but I don’t know for what. She was found guilty and her punishment was to be tied to the edge of a yellow inflatable raft by her ankles, face down in the water of a muddy river.
There were corpse tied to the raft with her and I was in the raft. I freed her, but we were being followed by a group of men that made Sam get in a cage on the raft. Every so often we were forced by the group of men to pull the raft onto the edge of the river and run some type of obstacle course. Then the men would chase us back to our raft.
At one point our raft turned into plexiglass and I started yelling, “I’m gonna sink this mother fucker!” We pulled the raft over and there was a slide like the type you see at the big water parks, but it was covered in snow and people were driving their cars on it.
Sam and I pulled the raft out of the water and started dragging it up the steps to take it on the slide. A guy who looked like Judge Doom from Who Framed Roger Rabbit offered to help us carry the raft, but he left bloody hand prints on everything he touched. I then realized the guy was going to kill us and we took off running down the steps, but the group of guys following us were at the bottom and they were all wearing Hawaiian shirts.
They started escorting us into a building. The guys were laughing at us and suddenly everything slowed down, frozen, then faded to black. My vision panned out and I realized I was sitting on my sofa watching a movie with Andy. I turned to Andy and said, “I didn’t like that movie.”
Then I woke up. I have fucked up dreams.
Nikki Guerlain (Soul trapper)
I had a dream last night that I woke up in bed with light shining out from my eyes as if I had a lantern in my skull and I was surrounded by dark blurry people and I shot up screaming, “There’s something inside me! There’s something inside me!” Only I knew it wasn’t me that was screaming but something inside me referring to me being inside it.
Wow you guys are fucked up! No wonder I love you.
So Bizarros, what was your last dream about? Have you ever had a lucid dream? Those are fun!
by Tracy Vanity
‘He’s dreaming now,’ said Tweedledee: ‘and what do you think he’s dreaming about?’
Alice said ‘Nobody can guess that.’
‘Why, about you!’ Tweedledee exclaimed, clapping his hands triumphantly. ‘And if he left off dreaming about you, where do you suppose you’d be?’
‘Where I am now, of course,’ said Alice.
‘Not you!’ Tweedledee retorted contemptuously. ‘You’d be nowhere. Why, you’re only a sort of thing in his dream!’
‘If that there King was to wake,’ added Tweedledum, ‘you’d go out — bang! — just like a candle!’
‘I shouldn’t!’ Alice exclaimed indignantly. ‘Besides, if I’m only a sort of thing in his dream, what are you, I should like to know?’
‘Ditto’ said Tweedledum.
‘Ditto, ditto!’ cried Tweedledee.
He shouted this so loud that Alice couldn’t help saying, ‘Hush! You’ll be waking him, I’m afraid, if you make so much noise.’
‘Well, it no use your talking about waking him,’ said Tweedledum, ‘when you’re only one of the things in his dream. You know very well you’re not real.’
‘I am real!’ said Alice and began to cry.
‘You won’t make yourself a bit realler by crying,’ Tweedledee remarked: ‘there’s nothing to cry about.’
‘If I wasn’t real,’ Alice said — half-laughing through her tears, it all seemed so ridiculous — ‘I shouldn’t be able to cry.’
‘I hope you don’t suppose those are real tears?’ Tweedledum interrupted in a tone of great contempt.
‘I know they’re talking nonsense,’ Alice thought to herself: ‘and it’s foolish to cry about it.’ So she brushed away her tears, and went on as cheerfully as she could.
-Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There, Chapter IV
Today marks the birthday of one of the sexiest and most influential writers in history. Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, aka Lewis Carroll, was a writer, mathematician, photographer, and inventor of many cool whimsical devices and games including a word game very much like Scrabble before Scrabble was even invented.
If you haven’t already seen it, or even if you have it is always nice to see it again, I recommend checking out Lewis Carroll’s gorgeous photography and Alice’s Adventures Underground, which is the original version of Alice’s Adventures Through Wonderland, handwritten and illustrated by Lewis Carroll himself as a gift for Alice Liddell.
There have been numerous film adaptations of Alice in Wonderland and I’ve watched every single one of them. Which film version is your favorite?
Jan Švankmajer’s version is certainly amazing:
I do like the Disney version, it’s very experimental for a Disney film and didn’t do very well until it became a cult classic when it was re-released in 1974.
The 60’s version with the Ravi Shankar soundtrack is pretty cool too. It does a great job sticking to to the book but Wonderland is just the normal English countryside with regular people playing the characters. It doesn’t look nearly as trippy as I imagine it looking in my head.
I think the film that best captures the spirit of Wonderland is Dreamchild. Jim Henson’s Creature Shop designed it, that’s why it looks so creepy-beautiful:
Henson’s company also made a cute Muppet version of “The Jabberwocky”:
American McGee’s Alice & Alice: Madness Returns really captures Wonderland well. I love those games!
Randy Greif made a wicked noise-music box set tribute to Alice using a vintage audio recording of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. It’s out of print but you can hear most of the tracks on youtube. I have a copy, I should upload all of it.
There’s a lot of amazing Alice-related art, films, books, etc. out there. I could go on and on. Please share your favorites.
BTW what’s your favorite Lewis Carroll quote? I have so many but of course this one is my #1:
Happy Birthday Lewis Carroll! ❤❤❤