- Charles Manson is married! Congrats to the lovely couple. Jezebel posted some lessons we can all learn about love from Charlie and Star. Please note it is incorrect to call Manson a serial killer or mass murderer. Technically, he didn’t kill anyone, he just told his cult to. He also made lovely music with the Family.
- A park in Poland bans Winnie the Pooh because he’s a “half-naked hermaphrodite.”
- “Bumfights” creator wanted in Thailand for illegally trying to ship human body parts which he stole from the Bangkok Forensics Museum.
- “Naked man crashes through airport ceiling before violently attacking 84-year-old, say police” I think the craziest thing about this is that this didn’t happen in Florida!
- A Chinese hospital has devised a way to make men feel the pain of childbirth.
“Free sessions are held twice a week at Aima maternity hospital in Shandong province and about 100 men have signed up to be tortured. Most are expectant dads but there are thrill seekers too among the volunteers for ‘taster sessions.'”
- Speaking of signing up to be tortured, the McKamey Manor is still continuing their extreme haunt experience past Halloween. Russ keeps saying he is toning shit down but this last video is creepier than the ones in the last post. Two tough guys dressed as the Super Mario Bros end up throwing up and crying after 20 minutes! Also note the reference to Vegas. Russ live streams the haunts to unknown people in Vegas! You really need to watch this:
- On the 50th anniversary of the Kennedy assassination, Fidel Castro tells The Atlantic that he believes Kennedy was assassinated due to a CIA conspiracy. JFK conspiracy theorists rejoice.
- While we’re on the subject of conspiracies, that bit with Jim Carrey “joking” about the Illuminati on Jimmy Kimmel was kind of creepy.
- Anonymous fights the KKK after the KKK threaten to shoot Ferguson protesters. Anonymous doxed the official KKK site and hacked their twitter account. They also “removed the hoods” of various KKK members, revealing all their personal information via twitter. The KKK are not happy.
- Meet the human platypus!
- British doctors found a tapeworm living in a man’s brain after he kept complaining about headaches. AHHHH!
- Want to try something new for Thanksgiving? How about deep fried tarantulas? It’s not that weird in Thailand. They eat all kinds of bugs here. I can buy some deep fried bugs right now off some street cart except I’m a vegan.
- A toddler in China accidentally lodges a chopstick up his nose all the way into his brain. You can see an x-ray of this and more fucked up x-rays here.
- London man wears a chicken skin gimp suit.
- Lab grown penises are real and ready to be tested on humans. Any volunteers?
And just in case you haven’t been on the internet in the past month:
Until next time Bizarros!
The good news is there will never be a shortage of Bizarro news…
- “A Tulsa man is facing a laundry list of charges for the second time this month — this time, accused of stealing a truck, escaping from a hospital and falling through a restaurant’s ceiling vent naked.”
- Red Bull heir runs over and kills a police officer with his Ferrari, skips his trial to go on “business trip.”
- UK police mistake Angelina Jolie, Daniel Craig, Tom Cruise, and Arnold look-alikes for IRL criminals.
- Gnome homes have mysteriously appeared in Kansas town. No sighting of gnomes yet but Kansas better be careful because gnomes can be fucking creepy.
- Retired lab chimpanzee wins $10,000 prize in a chimpanzee art competition. Contest was held by the Humane Society.
- Woman in New Mexico gives birth after being struck by lightning. Her baby girl is now called “little Flash Gordon.”
- European company invests $11 million to make robot cops. Sorry, robot technology is still not Terminator/RoboCop/Battlestar level yet. I’ll let you know when it is…
- Chicken swallows a diamond ring. Thankfully her nice caretaker will wait until she dies of natural causes to get the earring back.
- Canadian man swallows severed human toe at a bar in Yukon and had to pay a $500 fine and leave town since now the bar can’t serve “Sourtoe Cocktails” anymore until they find another toe. Adventurous drinkers would drink a cocktail of whiskey with the mummified toe inside and it had to touch their lips. As for the taste, one patron said: “The whisky was the only thing I could taste but the toe was like a leathery piece of jerky — with a toenail attached to it,” There are several videos at the link.
- Hot burlesque dancer sets off fire alarm with her fiery nipples during a performance, making everyone evacuate.
- Gang of drunk deer threaten a Swedish man and keep him from entering his house. Drunk elk are a reoccurring problem in Sweden because they like to get wasted on fermented fruit which are plentiful. They also get really aggressive when drunk.
- Meanwhile in Japan…
Until next time Bizarros!