From the godfather of bizarro fiction, Carlton Mellick III, award-winning author of Quicksand House and Cuddly Holocaust, comes a “kaiju” tribute novel that explores the surreal aftermath of a giant monster attack.
The creature was finally dead. After months of fighting it, trying desperately to stop it as it rampaged across the American countryside, turning city after city into a landscape of rubble, we finally managed to beat the damned thing. We actually saved the human species. We survived.
But the corpse still lingers.
In the center of the city once known as Portland, Oregon, there lies a mountain of flesh. Hundreds of thousands of tons of rotting flesh. It has filled the city with disease and dead-lizard stench, contaminated the water supply with its greasy putrid fluids, clogged the air with toxic gasses so thick that you can’t leave your house without the aid of a gas mask. And no one really knows quite what to do about it. A thousand-man demolition crew has been trying to clear it out one piece at a time, but after three months of work they’ve barely made a dent. And then there’s the junkies who have started burrowing into the monster’s guts, searching for a drug produced by its fire glands, setting back the excavation even longer.
It seems like the corpse will never go away. And with the quarantine still in place, we’re not even allowed to leave. We’re stuck in this disgusting rotten hell forever.
The Big Meat is a gut-wrenching, nerve-squirming survival story of loss, addiction, and claustrophobia.
Get it here!
Christmas is actually a really weird holiday, and bizarro writers have captured its weirdness in the past with books like Sausagey Santa and Christmas on Crack. But in 2016, some new voices have come forward to write weird stories about this cherished holiday season.
GIVE OF YOURSELF
A savagely satirical look at Christmas traditions in a science fiction setting where giving of yourself is taken to a literal extreme. This is not your typical Christmas story- this is Bizarro Fiction, so be prepared for weirdness!
Lee Widener’s latest excursion into Bizarro, following “David Bowie is Trying to Kill Me!” and “Rock N Roll Head Case,” is another example of his unique style of Bizarro Fiction. Follow the Flortwire family as they celebrate Christmas in a far future world even stranger than our own!
NOTE: This is a Kindle SINGLE, not a full novel, and in the great tradition of Christmas through the ages, it’s overpriced for the holidays! Get it here!
SATAN’S LITTLE HELPER
Stuffed full of Xmas magic and stomach churning ultra-violence, it’s THE HUNGER GAMES garroted with fairy lights and force fed to THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS!
The devil only wants to be adored, and thinks that remaking himself as “Satan Claus” will win the hearts of the world’s children. From dictator of Hell to beloved myth of childhood, it’s certainly an ambitious career change.
He totally fucks it up.
Trying to set things right, he invites children from every country in the world to the North Pole to take part in a contest, a scavenger hunt, with the winners becoming his little helpers on Xmas Eve. With Adolf the Red-Nosed Reichdeer and his army of dwarf Elvis Presley clones helping, it’s bound to be a success… Except for one problem.
All the kids are armed to the teeth. And all the kids want to kill him. Get it here!
They’re here! Every year for BizarroCon we brew beers for our books. This is this year’s batch, including Rumbullion Rum Stout, The Terrible Imperial IPA That Happens, Puppet Skin Wit, Drunk Driving Champion Session Pale Ale, Starr Creek Pomegranate Cider, Bacon Fried Bastard Farmhouse Ale, Shit Luck Porter, and The Complex IPA.
It’s Halloween, which is probably our favorite holiday here at Bizarro Central. We hope you all have fun tonight dressing up as razor-bladed apples and piles of dirty laundry. One bizarro fan celebrated by creating her own costume based on Polly from Carlton Mellick III’s Quicksand House.
It looks amazing! Here’s hoping that next Halloween we’ll have more people dress up as their favorite characters from bizarro books.
Rooster Republic Press has just launched the latest volume of their flagship anthology series, Tall Tales with Short Cocks. It’s available on Amazon and features a wide array of authors, including: Bradley Sands, Danger Slater, Douglas Hackle, Jessica McHugh, Andrew Wayne Adams, Jon Konrath, Jeff Burk, Dustin Reade, Jamie Grefe, David W Barbee, Madeleine Swann, John McNee, Nicholaus Patnaude, Crystal Babb, Shamus McCarty, Edmund Colell, MP Johnson, Mike Fugere Jr. and Timothy W. Long.
Editor G. Arthur Brown had this to say:
In the fifth installment of Rooster Republic’s flagship anthology series, we have some really tremendous fiction. It’s great. You can’t beat fiction like this. A lot of kids come up to me and they tell me how great they think this fiction is. I believe them. Believe me, it’s a great collection with some fantastic authors giving us their best work. I believe me. Why don’t you? You too good for all this fun, freaky, and far-out fiction? Maybe go read a book about bird watching, you voyeuristic pervert. This anthology is for connoisseurs who are sick of watching birds. They want to look at words—not at our fine feathered friends. Though, if I’m being honest, I’ve never met a bird I would call my friend. Sure, those doves helped me move. BUT I GAVE THEM BIRDSEED. Real friends don’t demand food from you. They just help you move, wish you luck, and then leave forever until you need them again. The stories in this anthology will be great friends. You can read them, put them back on the shelf, and pull them out whenever you feel like it. Or if you don’t feel like it, they aren’t going to call you up and be all like, “Hey, wanna get something to eat at that new taco cart I saw on the corner of Johnson and Johnson?” That would be the end of American fiction, I can tell you. Not that all the authors in this collection are Americans. Some are UKish, and some, I assume, are also good people. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Chickens Are Birds. Rooster Republic 2016!!!!!