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Halloween Chaos Countdown: Extra Spooky Bizarro News Roundup!

6 days until Halloween!

It’s now the home stretch Bizarros! Halloween is just around the corner. Time fucking flies!

The point of a Chaos Countdown is for things to be completely random. But I have not made it random enough for my liking. There just isn’t enough CHAOS. This countdown feels like it’s missing something. It needs something more like this:

or this:

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or even…THIS:

ouija

Perhaps come Halloween, I’ll get the right chaotic Halloween combo to finally summon Cthulhu or at least an army of zombies. In the meantime, I haven’t done a Bizarro News Roundup in awhile so here’s the latest Bizarro news, spooky edition muhahaha!!!

ku-xlarge

A woman who arrived at China’s Changsha Central Hospital with an itchy ear received the worst diagnosis imaginable: A small spider had apparently crawled into her ear canal while she slept, and had been dwelling inside her for the past five days.”

My ear is feeling itchy…

There is also this random low-budget movie I found on youtube, with a lot of naked chicks called Bath Salt Zombies!

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run

  • Have you read about the only known pair of real necropants housed in the Museum of Icelandic Sorcery & Witchcraft yet? If not, where the fuck have you been? It’s probably the best spooky Bizarro news EVER! Just look at the pants!

necropants

So how does one acquire a pair of these awesome serial killer-like duds? Well it’s really easy. All you need to do is…

“get permission from a living man to use his skin after his death.

After he has been buried you must dig up his body and flay the skin of the corpse in one piece from the waist down. As soon as you step into the pants they will stick to your own skin.

A coin must be stolen from a poor widow and placed in the scrotum along with the magical sign, nábrókarstafur, written on a piece of paper. Consequently the coin will draw money into the scrotum so it will never be empty, as long as the original coin is not removed.

To ensure salvation the owner has to convince someone else to overtake the pants and step into each leg as soon as he gets out of it. The necropants will thus keep the money-gathering nature for generations.”

via disinformation

PS – I will never get tired of typing necropants. NEVER!

Until next time Bizarros!

NECROPANTS!!!!


Bizarro News Roundup!

Ready for another shitstorm of the latest Bizarro news gripping the world? Here you go:

  • “A spooky clown has been scaring Northampton residents in full costume and make up.He is red haired and white faced and has appeared in several locations in the Abington and Kingsley areas.A Facebook page has now been set up for the clown called Spot Northampton’s Clown which has already achieved over 3,000 likes since it went live yesterday.The clown has proved a sensation on social media and has its own Twitter hashtag #northamptonclown.According to reports it has knocked on someone’s door and offered to paint their sills despite having no painting equipment.Let us know if you see it too”via Northhamton News

clown

  • “Hundreds of rare wild monkeys — some carrying herpes — are on the loose in Florida after a tour guide brought the spunky critters to the state long ago.Wildlife officials said that three pairs of Rhesus monkeys were transported to a park near Ocala in the 1930s by tour operator Colonel Tooey after a “Tarzan” flick sparked a fascination with the creature.But the breed has since boomed and more than 1,000 of the monkeys now live in the state, wildlife officials say.State officials have caught more than 700 of the monkeys in the past decade — most of which tested positive for the herpes-B virus.Wildlife officials now consider the monkeys a public health hazard.”

via New York Post

Rhesus

florida-wtf

coffee

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cash butt

PREGNANT+COCAINE

  • An artist has created an “edible opera” using biotechnology which uses a cool facehugger-looking helmet that creates edible algae from carbon dioxide which feeds the algae. “The singer has trained herself specially for this project so that she can further enhance her lung capacity to produce the best quality algae possible. The slightest changes in pitch and frequency can apparently determine the algae’s color, texture and even whether it will be sweet or bitter.”

opera

blobfish

Herbert-Chavez-2260231

small_snake wine

  • Peninsula instructors prepare youth for the zombie apocalypse. “Preparedness 101: Zombie Pandemic,” a graphic novella geared to teens and young adults prepared by the Centers for Disease Control, has the answers. ‘If you are generally well-equipped to deal with a zombie apocalypse, you will be prepared for a hurricane, pandemic, earthquake or terrorist attack,’ said CDC director of public health preparedness Dr. Ali Khan, who appears as a character in the comic book. The zombie comic started as a tongue-in-cheek campaign, but has evolved into a popular way to impress young people with the importance of emergency preparedness, he explains on the CDC web site.” You can read the CDC zombie pandemic graphic novel here.

zombie_page1

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skulls

guns

kill it with fire

  • In cryptozoology news, Swiss police are on a hunt for “Le Loyon,” a mysterious creature who has been spotted roaming the woods in Switzerland for over a decade. He is said to be wearing a gas mask, boiler suit, and cloak. “While he does not seem to be obviously aggressive or dangerous, police are hoping to speak to Le Loyon in an effort to encourage him to be less threatening.”

topelement

  • Don’t worry, Batman will save us! Batman and Captain America save a cat from a burning house.

Until next time Bizarros!


Day 18: Steve Seeley

By Sam Reeve

Normally I’m not super into art that portrays celebrities. It can be a cop-out for true weirdness and just a gimmick for garnering more attention. Steve Seeley‘s work, however, has won me over. I was sold upon seeing the first image below. Luckily for those who still hate celebrity-inspired art, not all his work is like that. Enjoy!

 

Batman and Miley Cyrus

Olsen Twin with Dog

Miley Cyrus Bear

parishilton_dogs

nicki minaj dog legs

Imperious Leader

Imperial Two Headed Dragon

Fighter Bear

corpse paint animals

heavy metal animals

In 2004 Steve started something he calls “The Creature Project”. It’s an ongoing project of altering the cover of Dell/ Whitman’s UFO Flying Saucers #5, originally published in 1975. Below are a few pieces.

creature project 5

creature project 10

creature project_07

creature project 27