Let’s summon a succubus, they said. It’ll be fun, they said…
I have some friends and we had a crazy idea: let’s summon a demon. Not just any demon but a sexy devil chick that will do anything we want—even butt stuff. It’ll be easy. It’s not like it’s going to work. Monsters aren’t real.
We were wrong. Really fucking wrong.
The demon is not what we thought and it’s making horrible things happen. People are cutting into each other’s junk, some guy is fucking his dog, and sex slugs from Hell are raping us and stealing our semen in order to build a goddamn hive!
We didn’t mean for any of this. But we’re gonna fix it… Just after a few more beers and bong hits.
From Christine Morgan, author of Mythic Lust: the Minotaur, and The Raven’s Table: Viking Stories, comes a sleazy and deviant satire about sex, occultism, and nerd culture.
Get it here
Back on the streets with a fresh new cover, it’s MP Johnson’s SICK PACK!
Fabulo’s six pack is hypnotic.
His abs can hypnotize people, and that’s why they appear on the covers of romance novels worldwide. He’s in-demand and life is good for him. But what about for his abs? Did he bother to ask them if they wanted the spotlight? Of course not. The truth is they’re sick of it. All the dieting and crunches. They want more out of life, so they vamoose, forcing poor Fabulo to replace them with something altogether different and altogether disgusting, an all new…
Get it here!
Head over to CLASH MEDIA to see two grown men hurl words at one another like drunk jai alai players. Plus this gif!
Now and then my bizarro peers will chime in and let me know what’s happening out there in Podcastlandia.
Today I hear tales of Nicholaus Patnaude at LOSING THE PLOT, discussing his books Guitar Wolf and First Aide Medicine, as well as his new psychedelic horror press, Psychedelic Horror Press (fitting!). Nicholaus also relates his experience stuck in a time-loop within the Dyatlov Pass incident, a cautionary tale that can’t possibly save you from the exact same fate.
Then there’s the always-interesting Jeff Burk. His latest installment of JEFF ATTACKS! features Miss Spooky talking about her career as a circus and side show performer. She discusses her acts, the reality of being a clown on a national tour, and the remaking one’s self as a performer. Miss Spooky has performed at several bizarro events in Portland, performed at two World Horror Conventions, and has been a judge at the Gross Out Contest:
So check out these podcasts! Bizarro Central will likely return with more installments of Podcastlandia to bring you the lowest episodes at the bottom of the bottomless podcast barrel.
We here at Bizarro Central support being supportive, and you can too by reading/writing/buying the following.
Calling all women who are nasty! Seeking radical non-fiction essays that provide crucial commentary on what it’s like to be a woman today. Bold stories from fierce women who are not ashamed of who they are and what they do. Detailed journeys about coming to terms and embracing your sexuality, your body, yourself. Being so comfortable in your skin, you sometimes strike fear in the hearts of those who do not understand. Tell me a story you think needs to be heard; a story only you can tell. Because space is limited, I’m looking for the strongest piece you’ve got. Submissions are open to any female-identifying person. Queer, trans, and women of color are strongly encouraged to send something in.
This is a charity anthology. 100% of proceeds will be donated to Planned Parenthood.
Word count: 1000-5000 words
Deadline: August 31st, 2017
Pay: $100 and Contributor Copy (pay can be donated upon authors request)
Subject Line: Nasty! Anthology
A confirmation email will be sent within a couple of days of receipt. We will then respond to all submissions with a yes or no by September 15th, 2017. If you have not heard from us about what you’ve submitted by September 20th, please contact us.
Projected for a Winter 2017 release date through King Shot Press
IN THE RIVER, a surprise release from Jeremy Robert Johnson and Lazy Fascist Books. 100% of the first month proceeds being donated to Portland Homeless Family Solutions to aid them in the difficult work of helping families with children find safety and security during times of struggle.
An intensely moving tale of survival and madness along the river’s edge. A father and son fishing lesson become a nightmarish voyage to the sea in this visionary testament to the lengths we will go for those we love.
Once released under the New Bizarro Authors Series, Steve Lowe’s body-swapping bizarro classic has returned, its comic absurdity stretched to new lengths.
More Muscle, More Memory…
Billy Gillespie wakes up one morning to discover his junk is gone. In its place is his wife’s junk. Billy is now Tina, and Tina is probably dead. That’s because Billy’s dead. His lifeless body is still in bed and empty beer bottles and a container of antifreeze litter the kitchen counter. Did Tina really poison Billy? Can he and his neighbors, all experiencing their own bouts of body switcheroo, fix this before the Feds find Billy’s body? Was it aliens, or God, or the government? What was Edgar Winter really doing with his sheep? Is pro football Hall of Famer Terry Bradshaw the key to everything? What Would Kirk Cameron Do? In the expanded edition of this New Bizarro Author Series original, all will be revealed. Maybe.
“It’s always a risky proposition: to take a well-known trope (especially one that peaked in the films of the 80s) and try to find a new way to spin it. In Muscle Memory, Steve Lowe takes his cue from movies like Freaky Friday and Like Father, Like Son, presenting a tale of bodies switched and swapped all over a small community. Using some clever writing however, Lowe transcends the typical structure of those stories and takes it to a whole new level of absurd and hilarious wonder.” —Michael Allen Rose, author of Embry: Hard-boiled
Get it here!
It blasted a hole in Kickstarter. It made the rounds on the indie film circuit. (hitting 9 countries, 39 festivals, and winning 14 awards!). People walked out. People cried blasphemy. Horror icons like Guillermo Del Toro, Mike Flanagan, John Shirley, and John Skipp each had their faces melted by it.
And now, finally, the NSFW micro-budget spectacle from the deranged mind of Jeremy Robert Johnson, Anthony Cousins, and Ryan Schaddelee has arrived courtesy of Blumhouse! Behold!