The cult section of the literary world

Bizarro News Roundup!

Gollums, Neverending Story dragon-slaying, alien sightings, cannibalism, and yet another step towards the robot apocalypse. It’s time for a Bizarro News Roundup kids! Yee-haw!

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pan

  • UFO sighting in Montana:

  • In more alien news, a retired marine has admitted to dedicating 17 years to defending 5 human colonies against Martians. He even enjoyed a nice retirement ceremony on the moon. The 30-minute video at the source link is worth a watch.

mads

peanut

The student waits to be rescued from the giant vagina sculpture

  • “Adelaide man Guy Albon, who had his four guns confiscated due to fears over his ‘mental competency’ brought about by him wearing a colander on his head in his gun licence photo, has been given the all clear after he insisted the utensil was crucial to his religion, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.”

Source

colliander

  • In robot apocalypse news, Japan has unveiled a new robot newscaster among other android prototypes who will plot to destroy all humans in due time! Even with the uncanny valley shit going on, robot technology is finally reaching our Asimov expectations. Enjoy the video!

falkor

Why anyone would kill a flying luck dragon who goes after school bullies is beyond me. My thoughts are with everyone in Fantasia. This is a sad day indeed.
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Credit to  for the above pic and for breaking the news and my childhood.
Never forget…
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3 responses

  1. Suddenly goblin sightings, UFOs, and possessions no longer matter… because Falcor is dead. Let the robot apocalypse come, the world just doesn’t deserve to live now.

    June 26, 2014 at 9:04 am

    • I’m going to throw myself under a Roomba. There is no point to life anymore.

      June 26, 2014 at 9:13 am

      • Lol! Something tells me that would make the next issue of Bizarro News Roundup. Hopefully you’ll continue it from beyond the grave.

        June 26, 2014 at 9:35 am

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