New Bizarro Author Series Review #31: The Mondo Vixen Massacre by Jamie Grefe
by J.W. Wargo
SSSSSSPPPPLLLLLUUUUUUUUUURRRRRTTTTTTTT!!!!!!! Fucking stab my dick with a stiletto heel! Vixens have gone mucho loco terrorizing the world with their outrageously sadistic games. No one is spared. Middle class suburbia is turned to rubble, families torn apart both figuratively and literally.
Oh, but they fucked up royally not finishing off this dude. His kid was murdered and his wife was kidnapped, taken to be a new plaything. They thought they left him a pulpy mush, but one of their own resurrected him with the green goo of life.
It’s vengeance time, and this beefed up husband/father is ready to take out these bitches one at a time if necessary. From the diviest bar to the swankiest mansion, he’s got one agenda: Fucking pussycats, kill kill!
The Clay family has had what I estimate to be a metric ton of feces of poor luck befall them. I cannot blame them for falling victim to the heinous acts committed in the name of vixenhood. Tom and Marianna and little Peter were happy and oblivious to the evils of pure sexual violence existing outside their home.
Tom is a born again Angel of Death. He was a good man, but anything that existed of that man was ripped apart and thrown away. Now the ghost of his dead son and the memories of a beautiful lover are all he has left. I read with great anticipation as he went after the wretched tarts, dispatching them with the same total lack of mercy they had shown him.
Leading the sordid group of vixens is the nastiest thing in a nurse’s uniform to ever be giving out the shots. Linda seems hellbent on destroying the world and recreating it into one giant afterparty I wish I were invited to but I’m not. She rules the house with an iron dildo, commanding every kind of vixen from coeds to cowgirls to the bionic terror of a woman who must kill.
I was glad to find that not all the vixens are malicious, malcontenting minxes. Mindy, a barely legal vixen, seems to me to be a misguided young woman who got mixed up in with the wrong crowd. Throughout the story she is a guiding force behind Tom, helping him keep his strength and limbs as he hunts down Linda to rescue his wife.
The simple explanation of “mondo” is a that it is an exploitative film centered around acts of sex and violence. Translating that idea onto paper using only words is no easy feat, but Mr. Grefe has represented that template admirably and with touches of flair more impressive than the films it emulates.
The prose skirts and dances like a possessed mime choking on its very silence. It is a frenetic pace set at once on the first page and never letting up. There is barely time for brief bits of exposition, and who needs it in Mondo book? On to the next scene of blood and gore!
This the book’s strongest aspect, that it sets out to be exactly what it is. A no holds barrel off a waterfall into a lake of crocodiles with grenades for teeth. Tom is beyond death, he is the shadow of his revenge. We are an audience of popcorn and 3D glasses, ooo-ing and ah-ing are way to his climax, one littered with dead vixens and a certainly uncertain future.
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The Mondo Vixen Massacre at Amazon.com
J.W. Wargo is a writer and author of his own NBAS book, Avoiding Mortimer, now a major motion picture starring Cary Grant, Audrey Hepburn, and a prenatal Ron Howard as “Lil’ Karmatt”. You can also read about the crazy shit he gets into while hitchhiking the world over at Imperial Youth Review.