The cult section of the literary world

Interview with Andrew Wayne Adams

By Spike Marlowe

November is just around the corner. This also means Eraserhead Press is about to decide which of this year’s New Bizarro Authors are going to have the opportunity to work with them again in the future.

I thought it would be fun and informative to interview this years’ authors, both so I could better get to know them, and so you could get to know them, too.

If you like what you read here, I highly encourage you to check out the authors’ books NOW. This is the last month that the New Bizarro Authors’ sales are counted as part of their sales quota in order to become full on bizarro authors.

janitor book1. What was the first fiction you consider bizarro that you read?

A lot of children’s literature is pretty bizarro, so it was probably something like that. I’m not sure, really. I have terrible amnesia.

2. Do you have any phobias?

Social phobia. This seems to have gotten better, though, over the years. But it still lurks around quite a bit. I try to just imagine people in their underwear, or in their bondage masks, or whatever. But yeah, anyone who talks to me, you should know that I am probably on the verge of vomiting on you out of sheer discomfort.

If I puke on you and you still want to be my friend, that’s how I know you’re special.

Also, I’m afraid of death.

3. What’s the strangest real life bizarro experience you’ve had?

Life itself! But if I have to pick one: Being in the military. That was pretty weird. I thought it would be funny to join, so I did. Basically I joined a cult, because that’s what the military is. I had always wanted to join a cult! I got brainwashed, turned into a killing machine. Actually, I worked in an office and drank coffee. I was a coffee machine. But they still brainwashed me, I swear. They made me strip nude and yelled at me. I no longer knew who I was. I was not me. I was THEM. I was a satellite dish.

4. Kafka or lemon crepes?

Donut holes!

5. The pigs and chickens you gave Justin Grimbol and I at BizarroCon after your Janitor of Planet Anilingus reading last year were very salty. How do you account for this?

That is a special seasoning known as “fear” which certain plastic animals secrete when they are in line to get rung up at the cash register of the toy store.

6. Do you dream in dubstep?

I do. How did you know? Dubstep pretty much defines me. In fact, I have to end the interview here, because I realize that there’s no point in saying anything more, when all I have to say is “dubstep” and there I am. That’s me.

Dubstep.

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