BizarroCon 2012: Highlights
By Sam Reeve
If you don’t know what BizarroCon is, I’m sorry. Sorry because you’ve been missing out on the greatest weekend of the year, at least for me anyway. BizarroCon is the largest gathering of bizarro writers, artists and fans, and takes place in Troutdale, Oregon every Fall. Here are some of the best parts of BizarroCon 2012.
To clarify, these are my personal highlights (and in no particular order). I was not everywhere at once, and not awake at all hours to witness every great moment that occurred this past weekend. If you have any stories to share or other moments that I didn’t mention here, comment below!
Michael Allen Rose’s stunt reading
Michael Rose had his lovely assistant light every page on fire as he was reading it, and we all secretly prayed they would burn up before he could finish. It only happened to one of the pages, but was immensely satisfying.
Donihe’s dramatic reading of Smell Yo Dick
Late at night, after we’ve all had too much to drink, we produce wonderful things like this:
The great Texan pervert Zoë Welch brought us a fine gift to mess around with all weekend. Often is sat on the coffee table or mantle, watching over us as we drunkenly crashed about the Ad house. Until you’ve been at a party with a shitty limp dildo, you might not understand how much fun it can be.
New Bizarro Author Series readings
It’s always a pleasure to see the new authors come out to read, many who are new to BizarroCon altogether. One author in particular told me he had never even done a reading, and EVERYONE did an amazing job. Our NBAS authors for 2012-2013 are Gabino Iglesias, J. W. Wargo, Tamara Romero, S. T. Cartledge, Andrew Wayne Adams and G. Arthur Brown.
Shane McKenzie’s disgusting performance for All You Can Eat
Shane was a newbie at BizarroCon and mentioned during one of the workshops that he wanted to learn more about bizarro and how to write it. If I had to judge him on his performances (both the showdown and to promote his book), I’d say he’s right on track. The mask he wore was creepy, he just sat there silently stuffing his face, dressed like a fat person, and then we all threw noodles at him. These pictures and this shitty description probably don’t do it justice, so I’m sorry about that, but it was one of the best things I saw all weekend.
I have loved being able to see Alan Clark and others create art on site during BizarroCon. It’s incredible to see what they can do in the space of a day and I’m glad this was brought back for BizarroCon 2012.
The Slow Poisoner
I love The Slow Poisoner’s music, especially live. If you haven’t checked out Andrew Goldfarb’s one-man band, do it now! Visit his site here.
The legendary Bizarro Showdown!
Imagine the weirdest writers you’ve ever read, trying to outweird each other for a few hours? It’s mindblowingly entertaining and by far one of the best parts of the whole weekend. In previous years it was hosted by Jeremy Johnson, but this year he stepped down to let Mykle Hansen take the reins. Mykle did a wonderful job, partly because he ripped on Jeremy the whole time. Here are our winners (from 1st-3rd place), two of whom were first-time BizarroCon attendees:
Andrew Goldfarb (aka The Slow Poisoner)
Andrew Wayne Adams
Art Tour with Kevin L. Donihe
Edgefield is known for its crazy walls and rooms, all painted with the weirdest, most beautiful art you’ll find in a hotel. Kevin Donihe is always forced to entertain us in some way on the Sunday of the convention. This year he pulled an amazing art tour out of his ass, and it was so great that a random guest from the hotel joined along to listen.