The cult section of the literary world

Flash Fiction Friday: Sex Ed

by Justin Grimbol


“I just don’t get it,” the boy said.  “Why do people kiss with their lips? Why can’t we kiss with our pee holes, or our butts? Butts are so soft. I want to kiss with my butt.”

“I’m sorry,” the health teacher said. “It just doesn’t work that way.”

“Why not?”

“Because it says so in the text book.”

The health teacher felt terrible. Who was he to tell these kids how to kiss? His wife hadn’t kissed him in years. She treated his mouth like it was a self-destruct button. She avoided him the way his children avoided eating their vegetables.

Maybe if he had kissed her the way he had always wanted to kiss her. Maybe if they had kissed with their feet, they would have been happier. There was no way to know. It was over now.

The teacher looked at his student. He saw the disappointment in his eyes. He gave the boy a sympathetic smile, then turned toward the chalkboard and continued his lessons.


Justin Grimbol lives in Portland, Maine. He is the author of The Crud Masters and the editor of His Cock is Money.

One response

  1. edmundcolell1

    Damn affection-Nazis who write textbooks…

    March 3, 2012 at 5:09 pm

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