The cult section of the literary world

Celebrating Winter Solstice with Satan

by Tracy Vanity

If you’re like me, you’re not only really awesome but you hate Christmas and just want to get through this holiday season without axing someone in the skull. Sure, a lot of booze and Valium helps but some anti-holiday internet cheer is also useful.

So while people visit people they can’t stand just because they came out of the same vagina and others shoplift electronic products made by toddlers in China, let us take a break from the bullshit and enjoy the true spirit of this time of year!

To warm you up, I present to you the most epic holiday/Yuletide/Winter Solstice/Christmas/Satanic video on the internet:

Now on to the bombardment of videos and images:

If you haven’t watched Jack Frost, you must! Not to be confused with that shitty movie with Michael Keaton that came out a year after this version, it’s about a serial killer who dies and comes back as a snowman and kills people. If that doesn’t get you into the true spirit of the season nothing will!

Merry X-Mas from Terry Gilliam

I feel like I’ve been listening to “Christmas Sucks” for the past ten years and just figured out as I post this that it isn’t really Peter Murphy and Tom Waits, just a band impersonating them…it totally sounds like them though so let’s keep pretending…

Bonus:
South Park’s Woodland Critter Christmas . Fuck Charlie Brown, that’s the only Christmas special that makes me happy.

Enjoy & Heil Satan!

3 responses

  1. Great post, but I am shocked, shocked I tell you, that you didn’t include Santa Claus from Futurama. He is an insane killing machine that has appear about 3 or 4 different xmas episodes.

    January 15, 2012 at 12:35 pm

    • Hahaha, I haven’t seen that episode, I’ll have to look it up. Thanks!

      January 16, 2012 at 4:51 am

  2. Great goods from you, man. I have understand your stuff previous to and you are just extremely excellent.

    March 12, 2013 at 5:58 pm

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