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MUST SEE MOVIES FOR BUDDING FANS OF BIZARRO

MUST-SEE MOVIES FOR  BUDDING FANS OF BIZARRO

By Justin Grimbol

 THE DOOM GENERATION

Thirteen-year-olds should be required to watch this in health class. It’s like a bizarro guide to sex. I learned more about the old in-out-in-out from this angsty piece of trash than from any text book diagram of a woman’s fallopian tubes.

It’s a about a bi-curious love triangle on the run.  This movie is surreal as hell and violent. There are Samurai swords, people getting raped with a stature of the Virgin Mary, decapitated heads that talk and crazed rednecks. This movie never slows down. When they aren’t fighting off random crazies, they are having awkward sex. They can’t seem to go to sleep without molesting each other first.

I highly recommend this movie for bizarre fans who are still going through puberty (or, like me, feel like they still are).

WIZARDS

This is a cartoon, but it is not like the Lion King or Spirited Away.  Watching this thing is like entering into the mind of some stoner teenager from the 70’s. It’s wacky as hell and packed with nudity. It’s about elves and fairies, but not the kind that you are used to. Usually fantasy like this takes place in the distant past. This movie takes place in an apocalyptic future and there are guns and Nazis and cigarette-smoking prostitute-fairies. There is a good wizard and a bad wizard. Only the good wizard in this movie is not like Gandalf from lord of the rings: He’s a gutted drunk who spends most of this time manhandling his voluptuous fairy girlfriend. It’s one of the most unique fantasy adventure movies out there. Watching this movie doesn’t make you want to go out in the woods and play with swords, it makes you want to PARTY!

RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD

The movie starts by showing a crazed punk rocker chick dancing naked in a grave yard. Then the acid rain comes pouring down. Zombies start crawling out all over the place. The rest of the movie is the usual zombie craziness, but it’s a lot stranger and the special effects are a fuck-ton more gooey than most zombie flicks. Still, even if you don’t like horror, if you are a budding bizarre fan, the movie is worth it just for the graveyard striptease.

NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 4

This is easily one of the worst Nightmare on Elm Street movies. The story is a mess and the acting is horrible. But it’s surreal as hell. I feel like 85% of this movie takes place in a dream world. The soundtrack is great and  Freddy Krueger has the personality of Rodney Dangerfield. When I was 14 I couldn’t get enough of this movie. It’s a great intro into the bizarre side of horror.

PINK FLAMIGOS

I accidentally watched this movie with my mother. It was Easter. I was fifteen. We had just watched another John Waters movie called Hair Spray. It was a strange but relatively wholesome movie. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. As it turns out, Pink Flamingos is one of the craziest films ever made. It’s raunchier than most porn. Some of it is just plain nauseating. The movie is non-stop raunchy. There’s a threesome with a chicken, a singing anus is featured, and a scene where Devine (a four hundred pound drag queen) sucks her son’s dick. BUT the scene where they impregnate the women in the dungeon still makes me queasy and I’ve watched the movie hundreds of times. It helps to smoke weed before watching this. I’m sure even the director would agree.

My mother could only watch about twenty minutes of Pink Flamingos. It was just too much for her. But she let me watch the rest. She was a good woman.

6 responses

  1. David W Barbee

    WIZARDS! Good reference. Ralph Bakshi is very bizarro in my opinion. I’m probably the only human being on earth who misses “Spicy City”.

    May 28, 2011 at 9:21 am

  2. I STILL haven’t seen Wizards, but this has reminded me that I should!

    May 28, 2011 at 10:08 am

  3. Ah, the Doom Generation. What CAN’T you learn from this film?…besides a basic sense of personal hygiene.
    I am forever haunted by the scene where they give you a nice close up of his hand on the steering wheel, index finger crusted, filthy and black. RIGHT after a sex scene…Then again, what ISN’T after a sex scene in an Araki movie?

    May 28, 2011 at 11:19 am

  4. For what it’s worth, I’ve always thought TETSUO: THE IRON MAN (1989) is a definitive Bizarro film.

    May 28, 2011 at 3:33 pm

  5. Bradley Sands

    I’ve seen The Doom Patrol more than any other movie. Recently saw the director’s new one (Kaboom) and was underwhelmed. Nowhere is another good one. Haven’t seen Wizards. Probably should. I’m very fond of Nightmare on Elm Street 6. which most people dislike. That one is very weird and comedic.

    May 28, 2011 at 4:07 pm

  6. NICK

    Is it me or does it seem like everyone thinks that Rose McGowan is a bitch and wants her to die in The Doom Generation. Also got to agree with the creator of that bad ass Rico Slade, Nightmare on Elm Street 6 is a for sure cheese fest that only a Robert Englund Freddie Kruegar can give us. No offense Jackie Earle Haley but liked you a lot more when you were bad ass little leaguer Kelly Leak.

    May 30, 2011 at 1:11 pm

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