May 23rd is Free Abortion Day!
Today, May 23rd, Abortion Arcade will be made available for free download. May 23rd also happens to be my twenty-third birthday. The book will remain available for free through the end of the month.
I am doing this for the poor people who cannot afford abortions, which they certainly, undoubtedly desire. Some of these poor pregnant people are so poor and so pregnant that they cannot even afford to buy my books. They must sit, bored out of their minds, waiting long, sleepless, pregnant hours, suffering the dual pain of being pregnant and not having my books to read.
If there’s one thing I want for my birthday, it’s to make all of the poor pregnant people 100% happier and 100% less pregnant. So here I am with free abortions.
As a bonus, I’ve got Arnold Schwarzenegger on hand to give away free copies of Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You by Bradley Sands. Arnold Schwarzenegger gives two thumbs up to Rico Slade and Free Abortion Day.
Just remember, on May 23rd, this abortion is on me.
Abortion Arcade is a collection of three novellas by one of the shining young stars of bizarro fiction. Cameron Pierce’s work is an intoxicating blend of body horror and midnight movie madness, reminiscent of early David Lynch and the splatterpunks at their most sublime. His fiction will punch you in the brain and leave you gasping for more.
The apocalypse is over. Now zombies farm humans for their brains. As the imprisoned human cattle drift further from their humanity, the zombies flourish in a primitive renaissance, flying around in helicopters and living in smart houses made of human brains.
THE ROADKILL QUARTERBACK OF HEAVY METAL HIGH
After Heavy Metal High’s star quarterback dies in a car accident, Danny the Dio-worshipping werewolf must transform from loser to gridiron star in this surreal pulp tragedy about teenage anxiety, high school violence, and heavy fucking metal.
THE DESTROYED ROOM
In a near-future city where automobiles have been outlawed and exotic animals roam the streets, a man wakes up one morning to discover that everyone in the world is a marionette. Now his wife is dead and he must find the answer, or else lose everything to the Great Shark Head in the Sky.
What the crap is Arnold Schwarzenegger doing on the cover of Rico Slade’s book? This is Rico Slade’s goddamn book. Rico Slade is not a body builder, an actor, or a governor. Rico Slade is an action hero.
Rico Slade doesn’t care about the political climate. Rico Slade has an advanced degree in badassery. Rico Slade’s favorite food is the honey-roasted peanut. Rico Slade can rip out a throat with his bare hands.
But Rico Slade has a problem. His arch-nemesis, Baron Mayhem, is threatening to drop a bomb on the Earth that will kill every human being except himself while leaving the world’s currency intact. To save the planet, Rico Slade must journey across Hollywood to find Baron Mayhem. Unfortunately, Rico Slade’s crime fighting style involves ripping out the throat of anyone who gets in his way, including grandmothers and Midwestern tourists.
As Rico Slade leaves Hollywood in ruins, the only person who can stop him from destroying the city is his Jewish psychologist, Harold Schwartzman. Until he does, Rico Slade will kill as many people as it takes to thwart Baron Mayhem’s evil scheme. Rico Slade will fucking kill everyone.
RICO SLADE WILL FUCKING KILL YOU.
You do not need a RapidShare account to download these books. If you do not have an account, simple click “I want to wait” under “Free account.”