By Sam Reeve
My rating: 7/10
This forgotten classic has it all: Satanism, murder, burning crosses, demonic possession, orgies and hot lesbian action! Despite being a Mexican film, Alucarda was originally filmed in English and many copies you’ll find today have even been dubbed over with new English dialogue. It sparked controversy upon its release for the imagery and themes, but has maintained a healthy following throughout the years.
Justine, a teenage orphan, arrives at a convent and is instantly befriended by Alucarda, a mischievous girl of the same age. They romp around the countryside together, meet gypsies, make a blood oath to die together, and then unleash evil forces in an abandoned church – all on Justine’s first day. The two girls become possessed by Satan and wreak havoc on the convent and its inhabitants.
The film was by no means high quality in terms of acting, dialogue, or really anything, but did that lessen the enjoyment? Hell no! Alucarda is a gem, a ridiculous gaudy gem that you’d find at a thrift store and never want to let go of. The final scene when everything gets lit on fire and all the nuns are running around like mad – genius. The worst part of the whole movie is the screaming, which there’s a lot of, but everything else is fun and crazy. Also, if you like female nudity, there’s a lot of that, and sometimes they even make out. It definitely makes up for the lack of sexy nuns, because they literally dress like Egyptian mummies (see below).
So, hopefully you’ve been convinced that this is a must-see horror film, but if you’re still unsure, check out the clip below. Lots of fluffy hair and nuns who appear to be wrapped in bacon. Below that is the full movie, dubbed over in English for unknown reasons.
Have you seen Alucarda? Let us know what you think in a comment below!
by Tracy Vanity
My Bizarro animated gif folder is overflowing. I love animated gifs. I’m fucking obsessed. They are awesome.
Enjoy the madness! Muahahahah!!!!!
by Tracy Vanity
Demonic Japanese Furbies, killer plush toys, creepy sex robots, and of course, music about hell…here is a compilation of 9 short creepy videos to kick off your weekend:
+1 full-length classic feature film: John Carpenter’s They Live!
If you haven’t seen this before, WATCH IT! If you have, WATCH IT AGAIN! It’s about a working class man down on his luck who discovers some special glasses that help him see the world for what it truly is. Those of you who are familiar with Shepard Fairey’s work will see where the Obey thing originated.
“Either put on these glasses or start eating that trashcan!”
Enjoy and have a splendid weekend Bizarros!