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Bizarro News Roundup!

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“Free sessions are held twice a week at Aima maternity hospital in Shandong province and about 100 men have signed up to be tortured. Most are expectant dads but there are thrill seekers too among the volunteers for ‘taster sessions.'”

  • Speaking of signing up to be tortured, the McKamey Manor is still continuing their extreme haunt experience past Halloween. Russ keeps saying he is toning shit down but this last video is creepier than the ones in the last post. Two tough guys dressed as the Super Mario Bros end  up throwing up and crying after 20 minutes! Also note the reference to Vegas. Russ live streams the haunts to unknown people in Vegas! You really need to watch this:

And just in case you haven’t been on the internet in the past month:

Until next time Bizarros!


Halloween Chaos Countdown: Clowns & Creepypasta

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(photo by Danielle Tunstall)

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Halloween Chaos Countdown: Spooky Bizarro News Roundup!

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  • Can’t carve worth a shit? You can buy a California organic “Pumpkenstein.” The price for this molded monster masterpiece? $75!
  • In more monster pumpkin news, this 2,058 pound pumpkin set a record.

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  • Just in time for Halloween, the “Wasco Clown” is creeping out residents in this California town. More clowns are popping up all over Bakersfield, even arming themselves with knives. But that’s not weird for Bakersfield since that place is like Florida, only smaller.
  • And yes Florida is still the weirdest city in the U.S.  This Florida man said he could speak to animals and claimed some property as his since his sister was burned there as a witch. All while wielding a chain over his head. After being shot he “began dancing and flailing his arms.”
  • A teenage girl dies during an exorcism in an Indian town.
  • Exorcisms are not only still popular, but there are more exorcisms in the U.S. than ever before. The Catholic church has 10 “official” U.S. exorcists and there are hundreds of exorcism ministries in operation today.

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And for our final spooky story in this Halloween edition of the Bizarro New Roundup:

Until next time Bizarros!


Halloween Chaos Countdown: McKamey Manor Will Fuck With Your Psyche!

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Lots of people have been sending me links to this promo video for the most extreme haunted house ever created. I’m glad that fucked up Halloween shit reminds you of me. I’m touched.

If you have not yet watched the video, watch it!

To call it a haunted house is an understatement. McKamey Manor isn’t some $5 backyard spook show with people in cheap costumes jumping out at you while you try to see through a fog machine. Russ and Carol McKamey, the creators of this unique horror experience have chosen to go all the way, much like a real-life Serbian Film, and totally destroy people’s minds.

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Bizarro News Roundup!

News of nonstop war and social collapse getting you down? Didn’t know that shit was happening? Doesn’t matter! It’s time to slide on down for a Bizarro News Roundup!

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  • We did not revert back to the 80’s…well actually some of us never left, but technically it’s 2014 and Weird Al has topped the Billboard charts:

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  • D.C. hospital rodent infestation is so bad that rodents are crawling up vaginas. That’s pretty bad. Good thing those vaginas were already dead.
  • You no longer need to be a serial killer to have your very own human skin furniture! Looks, feels, and smells like the real thing. Just what you always wanted.

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Until next time Bizarros!


Bizarro News Roundup!

Gollums, Neverending Story dragon-slaying, alien sightings, cannibalism, and yet another step towards the robot apocalypse. It’s time for a Bizarro News Roundup kids! Yee-haw!

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  • UFO sighting in Montana:

  • In more alien news, a retired marine has admitted to dedicating 17 years to defending 5 human colonies against Martians. He even enjoyed a nice retirement ceremony on the moon. The 30-minute video at the source link is worth a watch.

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The student waits to be rescued from the giant vagina sculpture

  • “Adelaide man Guy Albon, who had his four guns confiscated due to fears over his ‘mental competency’ brought about by him wearing a colander on his head in his gun licence photo, has been given the all clear after he insisted the utensil was crucial to his religion, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.”

Source

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  • In robot apocalypse news, Japan has unveiled a new robot newscaster among other android prototypes who will plot to destroy all humans in due time! Even with the uncanny valley shit going on, robot technology is finally reaching our Asimov expectations. Enjoy the video!

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Why anyone would kill a flying luck dragon who goes after school bullies is beyond me. My thoughts are with everyone in Fantasia. This is a sad day indeed.
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Credit to  for the above pic and for breaking the news and my childhood.
Never forget…
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Bizarro Breaking News: 12-year-old Girls Stab a Peer 19 Times in the Name of Slenderman

Prosecutors say two 12-year-old southeastern Wisconsin girls stabbed their 12-year-old friend nearly to death in the woods to please a mythological creature they learned about online.

Both girls were charged as adults with first-degree attempted homicide Monday in Waukesha County Circuit Court; they each face up to 60 years in prison if convicted. A court commissioner set bail at $500,000 cash per child. According to a criminal complaint, the girls had been planning to kill their friend for months and finally made the attempt in a park on Saturday morning, after a slumber party.

One of the girls told a detective they were trying to become “proxies” of Slender Man, a mythological demon-like character they learned about on creepypasta.wikia.com, a website about horror stories and legends. They planned to run away to the demon’s forest mansion after the slaying, the complaint said.

“I recognize their young ages but it’s still unbelievable,” Court Commissioner Thomas Pieper said during one of the girls’ initial court appearances Monday.

The victim suffered 19 stab wounds; one missed a major artery near her heart by a millimeter, doctors told police. She was in stable condition Monday. The court documents did not provide her name.

The Associated Press isn’t naming either girl who is charged because at least one of their attorneys plans to pursue moving her case into juvenile court, where proceedings are secret.

Both girls appeared in court wearing shackles and jail jumpsuits. They were surrounded by sheriff’s bailiffs, who towered over them. Family members of one of the girls wept openly as reporters snapped photographs. The other girl’s family sat stone-faced.

According to the criminal complaint, one of the girls told an investigator they began planning to kill their friend in December. The other girl told police they decided to kill her so they could become proxies of Slender Man, who would accept them and let them live with him in his mansion in the Nicolet National Forest.
The other girl said she sees Slender Man in her dreams. She said he watches her and can read her mind and teleport.

via WCPO

Now  n00bs to the internet are asking what creepypasta is and googling the shit out of Slenderman. Even CNN had a serious discussion about it. THAT is more bizarre to me than pre-teens stabbing each other.
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Via twitter, Slenderman issued a statement in response to the recent stabbings:
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The legend of Slenderman has evolved since its original inception back in 2009 but not until this recent incident has there been anything about him telling kids to try to commit murder. If anything, he tries to murder children or is seen right before their disappearance like in the popular Slenderman game. There is even fan art as to the origins of Slender.
Since Americans like to ban everything when kids do something random and stupid, we’ll see what the fate of Slenderman and creepypasta holds. In the meantime, Slenderman continues to do what he does best, creeping the shit out of people.

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