- Man sleeps for 10 hours without realizing there was a knife lodged in his back.
- Woman ends up glued to a Home Depot toilet seat, wants answers.
- Drunk Florida Man Tries to Use Taco as ID After His Car Catches Fire at Taco Bell
- Incredible prank, drunk driver is lead to believe he has been in a coma for 10 years.
- Australian woman knits with her vagina.
- Man commits suicide when girlfriend refuses to stop shopping.
- You know that phrase “I’ll sell my left nut to have ____?” well this guy actually sold his left nut for $35,000 to buy a sports car.
- Ghost hunters held at gunpoint after being mistaken for burglars.
- Man gets toilet roll holder stuck up his ass and has to call Rescue Service.
- Massachusetts mall Santa Claus accused of groping elf
- Los Angeles zombie police scare people straight.
- French guy doesn’t get his deposit back so he destroys his apartment with a sledgehammer.
- Dead baby wakes up in a funeral home.
- Woman had a partially dead black ear after being bitten by a brown recluse.
- Mexican teen’s genitals rot after injecting Krokodil. JFC WHY?!
- Norfolk is experiencing a creepy clown epidemic. People dressed as crowns are chasing people and scaring the shit out of them. Police have warned the public to not approach the clowns.
- WTF IS that?
Someone made a cute computer animation of “Wait Till Martin Comes” from Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. They used the original audio version read by Alvin Schwartz himself! Have a great Caturday!
An 80′s dude with a mullet feels like there is something really off about his family…his sister and parents are acting strange and no matter what he does, even being the quarterback of the football team and winning a high school debate, doesn’t impress them. Then he realizes his feelings are validated when he hears a strange recording from a friend. That’s when the setup of the first half of the movie ends up getting truly bizarre and the finale…well you just have to see it for yourself if you haven’t already. There is truly no ending like it in the history of cinema.
A true classic that reflects how the rich feeds off the poor through ooze, sex, and tons of stretchy, flesh-colored latex, Society is a great film that belongs on your Bizarro movie shelf. You can watch it in its entirety here:
It’s sort of monsoon season in Thailand right now…it’s not supposed to be monsoon season but the weather has been off. It’s super hot and sunny during the day and then thunder and heavy storms during the night. It hasn’t rained animals yet though…that I know of. I’ll ask a Thai person, they tend to know things I don’t…
Reports of animal rain have popped up all over the world and most of the reports (according to my hour of google researching) are in fact real. In Yoro, Honduras, it rains fish every year so they have a fish rain festival to celebrate. In Beebe, Arkansas, 3,000 blackbirds mysteriously fell from the sky on New Year’s Eve. In Oakville, Washington, it rained jellyfish, TWICE! In Japan, raining tadpoles is commonplace. There is a scientific explanation of course but that still doesn’t prevent people’s imaginations from running rampant when worms fall from the sky.
In India, there are reports of blood rain and this guy thinks it’s because of aliens:
Now I want to watch that episode of the X-Files.
His new album, “The Big Dream”, is now available. I particularly enjoy “Star Dream Girl.”
Halloween is tomorrow!
“Unholy Trinity” By Chad Michael Ward
I’ve known the night before Halloween as “Devil’s Night” because of The Crow but apparently this name is mostly used in Michigan due to the large numbers of arsons that always occurs in Detroit before Halloween. Other parts of the U.S. have various names for October 30th such as: trick night, mischief night, devil’s eve, and even cabbage night. “Devil’s Night” is still the best I think. Damn, Brandon Lee was sexy…
Aside from lighting fires, people like to run around and create general mischief before Halloween. Has anyone ever actually set fire to a bag of dog shit and put it on some old man’s porch or do they only do that in movies?
The Devil is the epitome of mischief. Here is this year’s Satanic/demonic love!
This is a good song with “Satan” in the title. Of course it’s about Satan in the form of a woman. The footage is from the classic Russ Meyer film, Faster Pussycat, Kill! Kill! Yay Tura Satana! Do you have any favorite songs about the Prince of Darkness or various forms thereof?
Make some mischief and hail Satan! Happy Devil’s Night!
6 creepy videos from the Bizarro part of youtube!
I love Pyramid Head! This video is sexy.
WTF is that?
Clip from Reincarnation. One of the creepiest dolls ever.
You can never go wrong with Shaye Saint John.
Post-apocalyptic short animation about mutated limbs who have to work together.
Bonus: Excellent sci-fi hell comic by Dylan Spencer!
2 days until Halloween!
3 days until Halloween!
A survey found that decorating wards with images of clowns was more likely to frighten young patients than cheer them up.
More than 250 children aged between four and 16 were asked for their opinions – and every single one said they disliked clowns as part of hospital decor.
Even some of the older children said they found clowns scary, Nursing Standard magazine reported.
The youngsters were questioned by the University of Sheffield for the Space To Care study aimed at improving hospital design for children.
“As adults we make assumptions about what works for children,” said Penny Curtis, a senior lecturer in research at the university.
“We found that clowns are universally disliked by children. Some found them frightening and unknowable.”
4 days until Halloween!
Sightings of strange beasts and paranormal activity are rampant all over the world. From yetis to chupacabras, even though modern science hasn’t acknowledged the existence of these creatures, many swear that the stories of these sightings are true. There have even been instances of cryptids turning out to be real!
Here are 13 creepy creatures from around the world! Do you have any weird creatures lurking around your neck of the woods?
In 1953 a weird creature washed up on the shores of Canvey Island in Essex. The Canvey Island Monster was described as:
76 cm (2.4 ft) long with thick reddish brown skin, bulging eyes and gills. It was also described as having hind legs with five-toed horseshoe-shaped feet with concave arches – which appeared to be suited for bipedal locomotion – but no forelimbs. Its remains were cremated after a cursory inspection by zoologists who said that it posed no danger to the public. The 1954 specimen was described as being similar to the first but much larger, being 120 cm (3.9 ft) long and weighing approximately 11.3 kg (25 lb). It was sufficiently fresh for its eyes, nostrils and teeth to be studied though no official explanation was given at the time as to what it was or what happened to the carcass.
Spotted in South Carolina, the Lizard Man is said to be 7 feet tall with scaly skin covering his entire body. There have been several sightings, mostly in the late 80′s but a couple reported having their car mauled by the Lizard Man in 2011.
III) Dover Demon
With glowing eyes and grey skin, the Dover Demon resides in Massachusetts. First spotted in 1977, the Dover Demon has become a classic cryptid with his own action figure in Japan.
IV) Mongolian Death Worm
In the Gobi Desert, there have been reports of a bright red worm up to 5 feet long that spits acid and has electric skin. The story of the worm has been around for hundreds of years and many people have attempted to track the creature down.
In September 1931, the Irving family, consisting of James, Margaret and a 13 year-old daughter named Voirrey, claimed they heard persistent scratching, rustling, and vocal noises behind their farmhouse’s wooden wall panels that variously resembled a ferret, a dog or a baby. According to the Irvings, a creature named Gef introduced itself and told them it was a mongoose born in New Delhi, India, in 1852. According to Voirrey, Gef was the size of a small rat with yellowish fur and a large bushy tail.
The Irvings say that Gef communicated to them that he was “an extra extra clever mongoose”, an “Earthbound spirit” and “a ghost in the form of a mongoose” and once said, “I am a freak. I have hands and I have feet, and if you saw me you’d faint, you’d be petrified, mummified, turned into stone or a pillar of salt!” The Irvings made various claims about Gef: he supposedly guarded their house and informed them of the approach of guests or any unfamiliar dog. They said that if someone had forgotten to put out the fire at night, Gef would go down and stop the stove. The Irvings claimed Gef would also wake people up when they overslept. And whenever mice got into the house, Gef supposedly assumed the role of the cat, although he preferred to scare them rather than kill them. The Irvings say they gave Gef biscuits, chocolates and bananas, and food was left for him in a saucer suspended from the ceiling which he took when he thought no one was watching. The Irvings claimed the mongoose regularly accompanied them on trips to the market, but always stayed on the other side of the hedges, even while and chatting incessantly.
Storsjöodjuret is a great lake monster in Sweden who achieved endangered species protection for awhile. The legend of the monster dates back to 1635. Here is the first written description of the monster:
“A long, long time ago two trolls, Jata and Kata, stood on the shores of the Great-Lake brewing a concoction in their cauldrons. They brewed and mixed and added to the liquid for days and weeks and years. They knew not what would result from their brew but they wondered about it a great deal. One evening there was heard a strange sound from one of their cauldrons. There was a wailing, a groaning and a crying, then suddenly came a loud bang. A strange animal with a black serpentine body and a cat-like head jumped out of the cauldron and disappeared into the lake. The monster enjoyed living in the lake, grew unbelievably larger and awakened terror among the people whenever it appeared. Finally, it extended all the way round the island of Frösön, and could even bite its own tail. Ketil Runske bound the mighty monster with a strong spell which was carved on a stone and raised on the island of Frösön. The serpent was pictured on the stone. Thus was the spell to be tied till the day someone came who could read and understand the inscription on the stone.”
Another lake monster, this one residing in British Columbia, is a 50-foot long sea serpent.
VIII) Jersey Devil
A well-known cryptid appearing in shows like the X-Files and every paranormal TV show, the Jersey Devil is a goat-like demonic creature constantly spotted in the Pine Barrens of New Jersey.
A jumping, snake-like creature spotted all over Japan, Tsuchinoko is said to have a high-pitched, blood-curdling scream…it seems most of these cryptids do. Some people say he likes booze and telling lies but maybe that’s just the sake talking.
A wolf-like monster terrorized a French province in the 1700′s, attacking and eating people. With up to 210 reported attacks and 113 deaths, the French government had to step in and spend a lot of money tracking the beast down to kill it. The film, Brotherhood of the Wolf is based on this legend.
XI) Skunk Ape
The Skunk Ape, also known as the Swamp Ape, Stink Ape, Florida Bigfoot, Myakka Ape, and the Myakka Skunk Ape, is a hominid cryptid said to inhabit Florida, as well as North Carolina and Arkansas, although reports from Florida are more common. It is named for its appearance and for the unpleasant odor that is said to accompany it. According to the United States National Park Service, the Skunk Ape exists only as a local myth.Reports of the Skunk Ape were particularly common in the 1960s and 1970s. In the fall of 1974, numerous sightings were reported in suburban neighborhoods of Dade County, Florida, of a large, foul-smelling, hairy, ape-like creature, which ran upright on two legs.
Akkorokamui is a giant squid-like creature that can be up to 46 feet long with claws at the end of its 12 tentacles. It has been spotted in the ocean around Japan, Korea, and even Thailand. Like a Kraken, it attacks ships with its tentacles and eats people when it’s pissed.
Put on your tinfoil hat and watch this:
So much WTF happening there. Hahaha.
Check out some more spooky monsters in my “Monsters of Urban Legend & Folklore” post!
5 days until Halloween!
6 days until Halloween!
It’s now the home stretch Bizarros! Halloween is just around the corner. Time fucking flies!
The point of a Chaos Countdown is for things to be completely random. But I have not made it random enough for my liking. There just isn’t enough CHAOS. This countdown feels like it’s missing something. It needs something more like this:
Perhaps come Halloween, I’ll get the right chaotic Halloween combo to finally summon Cthulhu or at least an army of zombies. In the meantime, I haven’t done a Bizarro News Roundup in awhile so here’s the latest Bizarro news, spooky edition muhahaha!!!
A woman who arrived at China’s Changsha Central Hospital with an itchy ear received the worst diagnosis imaginable: A small spider had apparently crawled into her ear canal while she slept, and had been dwelling inside her for the past five days.”
My ear is feeling itchy…
- 3-Months-Old Indian Baby Rahul Suffers from Horrifying Burns for Rare Spontaneous Combustion Condition
- (Reuters) – A mystery man dressed as Batman demonstrated the same crime-fighting skills as the caped crusader when he handed over a suspect wanted for burglary in Britain.
- Yeti mystery has finally been solved…or has it?
- Grieving relatives find a stranger in the casket.
- “Zombie drug” that has been impacting Russia for a few years is now spreading all over the U.S. Much worse than bath salts, krokodil is a super cheap drug made from codeine, paint thinner, and some other random chemical shit that you really do not want to put into your body. The high has been compared to heroin and at $8 a hit, it can seem tempting but the side-effects of rotting skin spreading all over your body is totally not worth it! Check out this graphic video of doctors treating severe cases of krokodil use in Russia. Probably best not to eat anything meaty-looking while watching or do for that extra bit of spooky nausea. VICE also has a good documentary about it.
There is also this random low-budget movie I found on youtube, with a lot of naked chicks called Bath Salt Zombies!
- Speaking of zombies, hold on to your hats, you might be eligible for a real zombie apocalypse scholarship!
- Talk about total Halloween buzz-kill, this British guy has been ordered to remove his Halloween decorations for being too awesome!
- In happier Halloween news, these dudes made a flying grim reaper and scared the shit out of people with it. I love a good spooky prank and can’t resist a great gif!
- Have you read about the only known pair of real necropants housed in the Museum of Icelandic Sorcery & Witchcraft yet? If not, where the fuck have you been? It’s probably the best spooky Bizarro news EVER! Just look at the pants!
So how does one acquire a pair of these awesome serial killer-like duds? Well it’s really easy. All you need to do is…
“get permission from a living man to use his skin after his death.
After he has been buried you must dig up his body and flay the skin of the corpse in one piece from the waist down. As soon as you step into the pants they will stick to your own skin.
A coin must be stolen from a poor widow and placed in the scrotum along with the magical sign, nábrókarstafur, written on a piece of paper. Consequently the coin will draw money into the scrotum so it will never be empty, as long as the original coin is not removed.
To ensure salvation the owner has to convince someone else to overtake the pants and step into each leg as soon as he gets out of it. The necropants will thus keep the money-gathering nature for generations.”
PS – I will never get tired of typing necropants. NEVER!
Until next time Bizarros!
7 Days Until Halloween!
#1) Vampira! By far the hottest and original of the old school monster chicks. Best known for starring in Ed Wood’s campy horror classic, Plan 9 From Outer Space and “The Vampira Show,” Vampira created her character in the 50′s and was inspired by The New Yorker comic version of Morticia Addams, Dragon Lady from an old comic called “Terry and the Pirates,” and the evil queen from Snow White. The top pic was from a publicity stunt for her show where she was driven around Hollywood in a gorgeous black Packard.
#2) Morticia Addams (1991 movie version) is the hottest Morticia. I think the original TV version is just too cutesy for my liking, whereas Angelica Houston’s role as Morticia is properly sexy and morbid. The idea for Morticia Addams and the Addams Family came from the cartoons by Charles Addams for The New Yorker, which debuted in 1938.
Movie version Morticia certainly has the best memes:
#3) Lily Munster was originally going to be “Phoebe” and look like an exact replica of Morticia Addams but the studio decided to be more original and come up with something different. Lily Munster’s character is a true vampire who was born in 1827 in Transylvania. Sporting a white muslin dress with vampire wings instead of the tight, black hobble dresses of the other vamps, Lily was still sexy and the actress who played her, Yvonne De Carlo, was quite the looker and in numerous films.
BTW did you know there was a Munsters movie? I didn’t until just now!
#4) Elvira’s style was certainly influenced by the vintage vamps, especially Vampira, and improved upon the skintight black vamp dress with her sexed-up, silly valley girl sense of humor and incredible cleavage. Elvira began her career as a host for “Elvira’s Movie Macabre” in 1981 and starred in her own films like the classic Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. She is still working, doing TV specials, movies, shows at Knott’s Scary Farm, and even has some Halloween-themed singles out on iTunes right now! She hasn’t aged at all. Perhaps she really is a vampire?
#5) Morticia Addams (tv show version) was the original TV Morticia in 1964. Carolyn Jones, the actress who played her, was nominated for a Golden Globe. Even with the cutesy Betty Boop face, her role as the matriarch of a macabre monster family was pretty punk rock for the 60′s and she was a sexy vintage vamp.
#6) Ingrid Pitt, played a sexy vampire in many films in the 60′s and 70′s, including The Vampire Lovers and Countess Dracula based on Elizabeth Bathory. She sexed up the vampire stereotype in her films and wasn’t afraid to bare it all for the screen.
Do you have any favorite hot vamp/monster chicks?
8 days until Halloween!
Here are some random strange wikipedia links to tide you over until I return:
10 Days Until Halloween!
11 Days Until Halloween!
12 days until Halloween!
Going on vacation for a couple days so going to cue pics/videos/gifs and make it up to you once I return!
A plague doctor (Italian: medico della peste, Dutch: pestmeester, Spanish: médico de la peste negra, German: Pestarzt) was a special medical physician who treated those who had the plague. They were specifically hired by towns that had many plague victims in times of plague epidemics. Since the city was paying their salary, they treated everyone: both the rich and the poor. They were not normally professionally trained experienced physicians or surgeons, and often were second-rate doctors not able to otherwise run a successful medical business or young physicians trying to establish themselves.
Plague doctors by their covenant treated plague patients and were known as municipal or “community plague doctors”, whereas “general practitioners” were separate doctors and both might be in the same European city or town at the same time. In France and the Netherlands plague doctors often lacked medical training and were referred to as “empirics”. In one case a plague doctor had been a fruit-seller before his employment as a physician.
In the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries, some doctors wore a beak-like mask which was filled with aromatic items. The masks were designed to protect them from putrid air, which (according to the miasmatic theory of disease) was seen as the cause of infection. Being a plague doctor was unpleasant, dangerous and difficult. Their chances of survival in times of a plague epidemic were low.
Some plague doctors wore a special costume, although graphic sources show that plague doctors wore a variety of garments. The garments were invented by Charles de L’Orme in 1619; they were first used in Paris, but later spread to be used throughout Europe. The protective suit consisted of a heavy fabric overcoat that was waxed, a mask with glass eye openings and a cone nose shaped like a beak to hold scented substances and straw.
Some of the scented materials were ambergris, balm-mint leaves, camphor, cloves, laudanum, myrrh, rose petals, storax. This was thought to protect the doctor from miasmatic bad air. The straw provided a filter for the “bad air”. A wooden cane pointer was used to help examine the patient without having to touch them, it was also used as a means of repenting sins, many believed that the plague was a punishment and would ask to be whipped to repent their sins.
For more plague doctor love, check out http://doctor-plague.tumblr.com/
13 Days Until Halloween!
14 days until Halloween!
When people think of vampire animals the first thing that typically comes to mind are vampire bats. The vampire/bat link in vampire folklore could have originated from observations of vampire bats feeding on livestock and people. It isn’t clear if Bram Stoker got this idea from observing vampire bats before writing Dracula but it’s possible.
But vampire bats aren’t the only haematophagous animals. Here are 9 bloodsuckers found in nature that you may not have heard of:
I) The vampire finch, or Geospiza difficilis septentrionalis, feeds on the blood of other birds. They live in the Galapagos Islands and are endangered.
II) Vampire moths have been discovered throughout the world, prominently in Europe, Asia, and Africa. They feed mostly on animals but have been known to fill up on human blood as well. There is even a species of vampire butterfly which feeds of the blood of the dead!
III) The vampire squid (Vampyroteuthis infernalis, lit. “vampire squid of Hell”) are deep-sea cephalopods which haven’t changed much since the 300 MILLION years that they’ve been around! When they feel threatened, they turn inside out into a “pumpkin posture.” Scientists are still trying to figure out their feeding behavior and how their filaments work since they do not grasp at prey like other cephalopods.
IV) Oxpeckers are a species of parasitic bird which feeds not only on the blood or large mammals, but also ticks, earwax, and dandruff.
VI) Vandellia cirrhosa, also known as vampire fish, are a parasitic Amazonian catfish which has been alleged to climb up human urethra by climbing up with the bony spikes on its head where it then attaches itself to feed on blood. Fun!
VII) Evarcha culicivora, or vampire spiders, reside in Kenya and ironically feed on the most common bloodsucker, the mosquito.
VIII) Leeches have been used for medicine and getting attacked by them fucking sucks, especially since there is never just one leech, there are hundreds of them. The ones here in Thailand actually leap out at you. Imagine walking through the woods during monsoon season, checking out some nature, and suddenly every few steps, little black slimy things leap out at you and stick to your feet and legs sucking your yummy blood. I had no idea they could leap! That shit was scary and of course reminded me of this:
IX) Lamprey eels are the most fucking creepy blood-sucking animals out there! With that cluster of little razor-sharp teeth they use to latch onto passing animals in the water to suck their blood, it’s hard not to look at pics of them and not get the creeps. They rarely attack humans though and there is a tribe which still hunts and eats them. It’s an acquired taste…
For more spooky shit found in nature, check out my “Zombies in Nature” post.
15 days until Halloween!
16 days until Halloween!
Yesterday was the last day of the vegetarian festival here in Thailand. The festival is lunar and is always around this time of year. It lasts ten days and the first and last day is celebrated with a parade and party with lots of deliciously fattening vegan Thai food available nation-wide. Devote followers of this particular brand of Buddhism and Hinduism are vegan for ten days for good luck and karma.
Super devote followers, typically Thai-Chinese men, end the last day of their “purification” by extreme body mutilation, especially through their cheeks, during a trance-like, supernatural state. Some also walk up a ladder of knives, submerse in hot oil, and walk through fire to prove their purity and show that they have reached the plane beyond normal human pain tolerance to the realm of spirituality.
In the island of Phuket, in the Southern part of Thailand, this celebration is the most intense. With a celebration around most of the city with people throwing fire crackers at each other, swinging swords, and playing hypnotic percussion instruments, the celebration gets very intense and it’s near impossible not to get caught up in the supernatural aspects of this festival.
I have not been to Phuket yet but have celebrated the festival in Bangkok where things are much less intense. At the Hindu temple here, the priest skewers his cheek with a thin sword and throws red spice in your eyes:
But in Phuket it’s a whole different story: