by Tracy Vanity
One of the most bizarre medical anomalies, spontaneous human combustion is when someone suddenly bursts into flame from within. Typically only the body remains burned even if flammable material is nearby. The cause for this has yet to be explained but it is certain that the fat in our bodies are highly flammable, so once that “inner fire” ignites, we’re toast!
Most skeptics blame cigarette accidents for this phenomena but not everyone agrees…
According to self-proclaimed “parascientist,” Larry E. Arnold, there have been 200 known cases of spontaneous human combustion in the past 300 years. He even wrote a book about it:
The latest case of alleged SHC happened this past February when an 65-year-old Oklahoma man by the name of Danny Vanzandt was found burned to death in his home after reportedly burning for 10 hours. Nothing else caught on fire and police and autopsy reports ruled out homicide but not SHC.
This documentary on SHC is rather informative and entertaining if you wish to know more about spontaneous human combustion, and who doesn’t?
So actual Bizarro paranormal phenomena or simply a freak accident? You decide…
Londoners are at risk of being killed in one of the increasing number of pavement explosions in the capital, the Health and Safety Executive (HSE) fears.
Figures obtained by BBC London show reported incidents of underground explosions more than tripled between 2011 and 2012.
In 2010, there were 12 underground explosions reported to the HSE.
Although that fell to eight in 2011, last year the figure jumped to 29. So far this year, there have been 12 blasts….
…Colin Wingate, 76, spent three months in a wheelchair with severe leg injuries after a pavement exploded in Harrow, north-west London, in August 2011.
“There was a huge – and when I say huge I mean enormous – explosion,” he said.
“Huge to the point that the iron manhole cover left the ground, I left the ground – and it was Bedlam.”
by Tracy Vanity
“Crazy Clown Time” is still on heavy daily rotation in the Vanity residence. Very excited about this new album!
by Tracy Vanity
The Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark books made me obsessed with urban legends as a kid. I loved thinking that KFC chicken could be made out of rats and a serial killer could call you from upstairs while you’re babysitting and murder all the kids you’re supposed to be taking care of. The monsters in these books were of particular interest since they could be from anywhere and take on various forms…
These spooky tales, originally told flesh-to-flesh, can now spread to millions of people through the internet. Slender Man has surely taken off and now he has a quite entertaining twitter account, as does The Rake. You should follow them at your own risk!
Every country and culture has many of their own scary stories and urban legends, but here is a highlight of monsters found in urban legends and folklore from around the world:
-In the 19th century, the Bell Witch was a brutal poltergeist who haunted the Bell family, assaulting and cursing them.
-The Black Dog is a hellhound found in the British Isles and even Latin America. This ghost is said to be the harbinger of death.
-Bloody-Bones is usually said to live near ponds, but according to Ruth Tongue in Somerset Folklore, “lived in a dark cupboard, usually under the stairs. If you were heroic enough to peep through a crack you would get a glimpse of the dreadful, crouching creature, with blood running down his face, seated waiting on a pile of raw bones that had belonged to children who told lies or said bad words.
-The Brosno dragon is basically the loch ness monster of Russia. He also looks like dinosaur.
-There are many variations of The Bunny Man legend which spread around the U.S. but basically he runs around wearing a bunny suit and murders people with an axe.
-The Bunyip is an Aboriginal creature which deals in water-based areas of Australia. It doesn’t seem to do much but this video that Carlton Mellick posted before makes this monster seem a lot creepier:
-El Cipitio is some kind of ghost or paranormal entitity from El Salvador of a boy with a giant belly and backwards feet who flies and throws pebbles at people. He is said to be the child of some “illicit” couple.
-The Crawfordsville Journal described the Crawfordsville monster as being “about eighteen feet long and eight feet wide and moved rapidly through the air by means of several pairs of side fins. It was pure white and had no definite shape or form, resembling somewhat a great white shroud fitted with propelling fins. There was no tail or head visible but there was one great flaming eye, and a sort of a wheezing plaintive sound was emitted from a mouth which was invisible. It flapped like a flag in the winds as it came on and frequently gave a great squirm as though suffering unutterable agony.”
-“According to the book De Kinderen van Het Bezeten Bos which was written in 1937 the legend of Deogen is said to have began when area nuns began finding the burned bodies of young children in the Sonian Forest in Belgium, near Brussels. It is said in the book that 80 children were murdered and the bodies dumped throughout in the forest and set ablaze but a more accepted number was only 8. Very little is known of the case excepting that which is found in the book which is believed by many to have been a work of fiction.“
-Draugar are pretty metal. These undead creatures from Norse mythology possess superhuman strength and come up out of their graves as wisps of smoke, increase in size, and kill people by crushing them, drinking their blood, and driving them insane.
-In Scandinavian folklore, Gjenganger are like ghosts in that they have died and come back from the dead but are in full human-like form and can cause damage if they’re pissed off or evil.
-“According to legend, Goatman is an axe-wielding, half-man, half-animal creature that was once a scientist who worked in the Beltsville Agricultural Research Center. The tale holds that he was experimenting on goats, the experiment went awry, and he began attacking cars with an axe, roaming the back roads of Beltsville, Maryland. A variation of the legend tells of Goatman as an old hermit who lives in the woods, seen walking alone at night along Fletchertown Road.”
-“A hidebehind is a nocturnal fearsome critter from American folklore that preys upon humans that wander the woods, and was credited for the disappearances of early colonial loggers when they failed to return to camp. As its name suggests, the hidebehind is noted for its ability to conceal itself. When an observer attempts to look directly at it, the creature hides again behind an object or the observer and therefore can’t be directly seen: a feat it accomplishes by sucking in its stomach to a point where it is so slender that it can easily cover itself behind the trunk of any tree. The hidebehind uses this ability to stalk human prey without being observed and to attack without warning. Their victims, including lumberjacks who frequent the forests, are dragged back to the creature’s lair to be devoured. The creature subsists chiefly upon the intestines of its victim, and has a severe aversion to alcohol, which is considered a sufficient repellent. Tales of the hidebehind may have helped explain strange noises in the forest at night. Early accounts describe hidebehinds as large, powerful animals, despite the fact that no one was able to see them.“
-“In 1893 newspapers reported the discovery of a Hodag in Rhinelander, Wisconsin. It had “the head of a frog, the grinning face of a giant elephant, thick short legs set off by huge claws, the back of a dinosaur, and a long tail with spears at the end”. The reports were instigated by well-known Wisconsin timber cruiser and prankster Eugene Shepard, who rounded up a group of local people to capture the animal. The group reported that they needed to use dynamite to kill the beast.”
-In Chilean folklore, Imvunche is a deformed, hairy monster boy with a snake-like tongue that protects the entrance to a warlock’s cave.
-There have been many sightings of The Jersey Devil even to this day:
-Kuchisake-onna is a Japanese spirit, mutilated by a jealous husband and said to torment little Japanese children. She is known to wear a surgical mask and goes up to kids, asking if she looks beautiful. If they say “yes” she removes her mask and reveals her mouth which has been split open from ear to ear. If they say “no” she chops them up. Creepy shit.
-La Llorona is well-known in Latin America. Spanish for “The Weeping Woman,” the version I was told was that she is the ghost of a woman who was abandoned by her lover and ends up drowning her children and herself in the river. Her ghost is seen crying in the middle of the night looking for her children. In Thailand there is a similar ghost called Phi Tai Hong.
-The Lambton Worm is a huge dragon-looking beast that terrorized a village in the UK and has a song which I can’t really understand but the pictures of the “worm” are cute:
-”In the folklore of Bali, the Leyak (in Indonesian, people called it ‘Leak’ (le-ak)—the Y is not written or spoken) is a mythological figure in the form of flying head with entrails (heart, lung, liver, etc.) still attached. Leyak is said to fly trying to find a pregnant woman in order to suck her baby’s blood or a newborn child. There are three legendary Leyak, two females and one male.”
-The Manananggal of the Philippines is a vampire-like creature, typically depicted as a woman who has bat wings and long straw tongue to suck blood from people and fetuses out of pregnant women.
-The Melon heads were deformed children from a Michigan insane asylum who were mistreated, went feral, and escaped into the forest.
-A Nachzehrer is a German vampire ghoul, who eats the dead and is created when a person dies by suicide or accident. It apparently loves munching on grave clothes.
-Like the name suggests, the Owlman of the UK is a giant owl-like man with claws, wings, and glowing eyes.
-“In most accounts, the Pope Lick Monster (named after the Pope Lick Creek below the Pope Lick Train Trestle) appears as a human-goat hybrid with a grotesquely deformed body of a man. It has powerful, fur-covered goat legs, an alabaster-skinned face with an aquiline nose and wide set eyes. Short, sharp horns protrude from the forehead, nestled in long greasy hair that matched the color of the fur on the legs.
Numerous urban legends exist about the creature’s origins and the methods it employs to claim its victims. According to some accounts, the creature uses either hypnosis or voice mimicry to lure trespassers onto the trestle to meet their death before an oncoming train. Other stories claim the monster jumps down from the trestle onto the roofs of cars passing beneath it. Yet other legends tell that it attacks its victims with a blood-stained axe. It has also been said that the very sight of the creature is so unsettling that those who see it while walking across the high trestle are driven to leap off.
Other legends explain the creature’s origins, including that it is a human goat hybrid, and that it was a circus freak who vowed revenge after being mistreated. In one version, the creature escaped after a train derailed on the trestle. Another version claims that the monster is really the twisted reincarnated form of a farmer who sacrificed goats in exchange for Satanic powers.”
-In 1930′s Chicago, a young female hitchhiker dressed all in white, was picked up by several drivers only to vanish once the car stopped in front of the cemetery. One of many variations of the vanishing hitchhiker stories, Resurrection Mary was said to have been a young woman who had stormed out of a ball when her boyfriend pissed her off and was killed by a hit and run driver while on her way back home.
-Robert the Doll was a super creepy doll owned by painter in Key West who was said to move, talk, giggle, knock over furniture, and do other scary shit. The painter kept the doll until he died and now the doll resides in Fort East Martello Museum and is said to curse anyone who takes photos of him.
-“Rokurokubi (轆轤首, rokurokubi?) which are related to Nure-onna are yōkai found in Japanese folklore. They look like normal human beings by day, but at night they gain the ability to stretch their necks to great lengths. They can also change their faces to those of terrifying Oni to better scare mortals.
In their daytime human forms, rokurokubi often live undetected and may even take mortal spouses. Many rokurokubi become so accustomed to such a life that they take great pains to keep their demonic forms secret. They are tricksters by nature, however, and the urge to frighten and spy on human beings is hard to resist. Some rokurokubi thus resort to revealing themselves only to drunkards, fools, the sleeping, or the blind in order to satisfy these urges. Other rokurokubi have no such compunctions and go about frightening mortals with abandon. A few, it is said, are not even aware of their true nature and consider themselves normal humans. This last group stretch their necks out while asleep in an involuntary action; upon waking up in the morning, they find they have weird dreams regarding seeing their surroundings in unnatural angles.”
-Shadowpeople are dark paranormal entities seen all over the world, scientifically explained to be caused by a psychological disorder or sleep paralysis.
-“The Sihuanaba, La Siguanaba, Cigua or Cegua is a supernatural character from Central American folklore. It is a shape-changing spirit that typically takes the form of an attractive, long haired woman seen from behind. She lures men away into danger before revealing her face to be that of a horse or, alternatively, a skull.”
-Spring-heeled Jack, aptly named, is known for his bizarre appearance and giant leaps. He was first spotted in the UK in the 1800′s and is said to either look like a beastly man with long claws and fiery eyes or like a complete gentleman.
-If you read the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark books, you will already be familiar with the Wendigo. In Algonquian legend, the Wendigo is a demonic cannibal spirit which came out especially during winter. Anyone who resorted to cannibalism was believed to become a Wendigo. In Scary Stories, a Wendigo carries a man up into the sky until he become a pile of ashes.
Are there any favorite legends I left out? There are so many! Now I’m off to bed. Sweet dreams Bizarros!
by Tracy Vanity
Time for an underground classic cinema post. Directed by E. Elias Merhige, this surrealist transcendental horror flick is perfect for a Bizarro Twisted Tuesday night.
God disembowels himself with a straight razor. The spirit-like Mother Earth emerges, venturing into a bleak, barren landscape. Twitching and cowering, the Son Of Earth is set upon by faceless cannibals.
So turn all the lights off, put the volume all the way up, and enjoy!
by Tracy Vanity
The fisherman, who has not been named at the request of his family, was driving with friends toward the Shestakovskoye lake, west of the capital, Minsk, when he spotted the beaver along the side of the road and stopped the car. As he tried to grab the animal to have his picture taken, it bit him several times. One of the bites cut a major artery in his leg, according to Sulim.
The man’s friends were unable to stem the bleeding, and he was pronounced dead when he arrived at Sulim’s clinic in the village of Ostromechevo.
He is the only person known to have died from a beaver attack in Belarus.
Well shit, if you grab any wild animal of course they’re going to bite your ass! But apparently beaver attacks are common, probably because they are fat and cute and people keep fucking with them. Just leave them alone and they won’t bite into your ateries!
BTW I had no idea Mel Gibson made a movie with a beaver puppet, that’s more wtf to me than this article!
by Tracy Vanity
My Bizarro animated gif folder is overflowing. I love animated gifs. I’m fucking obsessed. They are awesome.
Enjoy the madness! Muahahahah!!!!!
posted by Tracy Vanity
Last Saturday some smelly, gooey, white shit began seeping out of the ground in Nanjing, China, tripping the fuck out of everyone, especially the people living in Nanjing who ended up being evacuated from the surrounding area for a bit. People still have no idea wtf that was but the Chinese Propaganda Ministry released a statement saying that is was just a harmless substance used to “soften the soil” that just “accidentally leaked” but don’t worry it’s really harmless…really.
Thankfully, the ooze eventually seeped back into the ground and the people of Nanjing will have some really soft soil and I’m sure very non-toxic food, air, and water….
by Tracy Vanity
You know when you were a kid and were watching Terminator 2 and were like “Damn, what if that really happened?” and then you re-watched it when you were older and were like “wait a minute…” and then you watched The Matrix and shit really fucked with your head didn’t it?
Well Bizarros, the moment you’ve all been dreaming about is here! Robots are going to take over the world and destroy us all but the good thing is that at least the Robocalypse will look cool because robots are fucking awesome. At least they are much cleaner and efficient than zombies and they will clean our homes, fuck us, and serve us booze, before killing us all!
So here is the latest in Robocalypse technology:
Wu Yulu, a Chinese farmer, from a small village, outside Beijing, has created a series of 47 robots, out of scrap metal. They can accomplish various functions, from drinking, to walking and even pulling a rickshaw.
…The strangest thing, about Wu Yulu, is he declared he loves his metal robots, more than he loves his own kids. He refers to his rickshaw robot as his 32nd son, and even programmed it to say “Wy Yulu is my dad, I take him out on the town.” How cool is that!
More than 70 countries already use unmanned drones – aerial vehicles that are capable of gathering intelligence, or seeking and, if necessary, eliminating targets. At present, the latter decision is still made by human operators via remote control. Human decision-making, however, seems to be waning, while unmanned fighter robots act increasingly on their own. The pilotless aircraft can already be programmed to maneuver completely autonomously. The X-47B drone is still being tested, but once it is ready for action, the aircraft will be able to conduct missions largely autonomously and without human control.
The wonderful people at DARPA just posted this cute robot:
Meet “Robbie the Robot” who is playing a game of what appears to be Simon all by himself which means he can become self-aware at any moment and destroy the planet.
Scientists have created a paper-thin flexible “skin” that can detect pressure that’s a few hundred times lighter than a gentle touch. This new material could eventually make its way into artificial or robotic limbs — but for now researchers have found that it is absolutely amazing at reading a pulse.
Scientists have successfully replicated the behaviour of a colony of ants on the move with the use of miniature robots, as reported in the journal PLOS Computational Biology. The researchers, based at the New Jersey Institute of Technology (Newark, USA) and at the Research Centre on Animal Cognition (Toulouse, France), aimed to discover how individual ants, when part of a moving colony, orient themselves in the labyrinthine pathways that stretch from their nest to various food sources.
World’s smallest robot, Robobee, has wingspan of three centimetres
It looks like a large drill, but this piece of equipment in South Canberra is no construction tool.
In years to come it may make your smartphone even smarter and help your car drive itself, with scientists believing basic global positioning technology can be accurate to the centimetre by the end of the decade.
The Pentagon has released a video of a robotic arm able to handle tools well enough to nearly complete a tire change.
And while the video is new, Gill Pratt, a project manager at the Pentagon’s Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA), told The New York Times it’s already outdated as the team has moved on to more dexterous hands capable of actually threading a bolt
According to its site, DARPA is the “principal agency within the Department of Defense for high-risk, high-payoff research, development and demonstration of new technologies and systems that serve the warfighter and the Nation’s defense.”
Inventions to have come out of their labs include stealth fighters, remote-controlled vehicles and GPS. Furthermore, the agency played a leading role in the development of the Internet.
Despite the obvious benefits of these innovations, however, many who see the video of the robotic arm unscrewing bolts from a tire are seeing much more than a leap forward in robotics – they are seeing a world of even fewer jobs for human hands.
And how can I make a Robocalypse post without some of the latest robot news from Japan?
Kenshiro is the next step for the researchers. Their previous effort resulted in a robot they called Kojiro – a robot that demonstrated the huge strides that have come in mimicking the human body, as well as the very long road yet to travel. In this new iteration, Kenshiro was preceded by a robot concept the team called Kenzoh. In that effort the team found that simply adding artificial muscle and bones generally tended to create weight problems. The upper body alone came to 45 kg. That caused the team to go back to the drawing board, this time with the idea of mimicking human bone and muscle at the individual body part level, i.e. a backbone, calf, or knee joint. Each part was custom designed to fall within the weight parameters of actual human limbs and other parts of the body.
If you’re looking for something more classic, there’s a Giant 1950s robot Gygan up for sale.
Don’t worry, it seems like we’re still a few years off from being robot slave bitches, but I’d keep a close eye on what DARPA are getting into if I were you…
Till next time Bizarros!
posted by Tracy Vanity
Source: Weird Asia News
In Leqing City, in China’s Zhejian Province, at around 6:00 a.m. on May 1, 2013, a woman was using a public restroom when the toilet literally exploded. The blast so was so powerful that it blew the exterior wall outward, injuring another woman who was walking by. Amazingly, the woman inside was completely unharmed, protected by the room’s internal brick walls.
A local citizen speculated that the incident may have been caused by faulty electrical wires that sparked and thus ignited the methane gas that had filled up the stopped-up toilet.
Fortunately, May Day was a national holiday in China, so there were not many people on the street. The restroom was located in an industrial area of the city, so had this incident happened on a regular working day, things could have gone a lot worse.
by Tracy Vanity, (including pics)
I haven’t made a Bizarro Thailand post in awhile and there’s still a lot of Bizarro things here that you should know about.
During a road trip with some friends to Ayutthaya, the old capital of Thailand, we happened across a huge, sci-fi, space complex very reminiscent of Scientology but with a UFO Buddhist flavor:
As with any road trip in Thailand, you never know what you’re going to run into. I had no idea a Thai Buddhist space cult existed until I ran into it.
The place was empty when we visited but apparently tens of thousands of followers flood the 1,000 acre area during ceremonies and events and more buildings were being constructed to fit more people.
That youtube video does a great job of explaining what Dhammakāya is, especially from an outsider perspective. Here is more information cut & pasted from good ole’ wiki since I seriously have no clue what’s it’s about aside from the fact that their main building is a flying saucer and their symbol is a UFO:
The Dhammakāya Movement is a Buddhist movement founded in Thailand in the 1970s, with roots stretching back much earlier. It is said to be the fastest-growing Buddhist movement in present-day Thailand. It teaches of the reality of a True Self (the Dhammakaya) in all beings, which it equates with Nirvana.
…The Dhammakāya Foundation was founded in 1916 in Thailand by Phramongkolthepmuni, the abbot of Wat Paknam Bhasicharoen. Following the death of Phra Monkolthepmuni, the Foundation’s work was continued by his disciple, Khun Yay Mahā Ratana Upāsikā Chandra Khonnokyoong, a Buddhist mae chi. In 1970, a temple, called Wat Phra Dhammakaya, was constructed as a home for the movement. Located in Khlong Luang, Pathum Thani Province, the temple was intended to become an international center for the study of meditation.
The Dhammakāya Foundation has been subject to its share of controversy. In 1999 and again in 2002, leaders of the organization were accused of charges ranging from fraud and embezzlement to corruption. At that time social critic Sulak Sivaraksa criticized the Dhammakaya Movement for promoting greed by emphasizing donations to the temple as a way to make merit. Widespread negative media coverage a this time was symptomatic of the movement being made the scapegoat for commercial malpractice in the Thai Buddhist temple community in the wake of the 1997 Asian Financial Crisis.
…The movement has expanded branches to over eighteen countries worldwide and is promoted via a Buddhist satellite network or Dhamma Media Channel (DMC.TV) with a 24 hour-a-day Dharma and meditation teachings broadcast to the audience worldwide.
…Accusations that the Thai Government had financed activities at Wat Phra Dhammakaya were made in a letter by Sulak Sivalaksa on 10 May 2010 but the government issued a press release on 12 May to deny the accusations
Seems like Dhammakāya is pretty much the core principles of Buddhism with white clothes, spaceships, and culty grandeur. Pretty cool.
by Tracy Vanity
Time for another Bizarro youtube short film festival! There is never a shortage of wtf videos. Here are some you need to watch:
1) “I Feel Fantastic” – Whenever anyone requests a disturbing video this one always comes up. It’s a classic and the video description is incredible:
“In ancient Greek mythology, Pygmalion was a highly accomplished Cypriot sculptor. Though skilled at imitating the human form, and well acquainted with it’s subtleties, he became disgusted by it when he witnessed the Propoetides prostituting themselves. These women were punished by Venus for their lack of worship with a coarseness of skin and a crudeness of nature, and were then forced into prostitution. Seeing this, Pygmalion the sculptor was repelled and could no longer appreciate women.
Seemingly alone, Pygmalion sought to create for himself a perfect, pure, unsullied companion. He used his particular skills to this end: he created a statue bride.
What you are about to watch is a mysterious video. It’s origin is attributed variously, and almost certainly spuriously, to various abstract artists or surrealists. The truth is that what we are seeing, and what we perceive to be strange and disturbing, is actually beauty to it’s creator.
Perhaps what we are viewing is the work of a modern Pygmalion. To him, her toneless voice, the paleness of her skin and the comparative vibrancy of her lips may indeed be the very embodiment of a perfect woman…
Consider the mind-scape of the creator. In whose mind does this appear beautiful? In whose mind is this pure, near worshipful? Are we missing out on his perspective?
Who are we to be afraid or to judge them? He may well love her fully, perhaps more fully than any of us could ever hope to be loved. In the mind of her creator, she is a near goddess; the perfect representation, not just of femininity, but the peak of human potential. A perfectly satisfactory being.
How does that kind of unconditional love feel?
Well, how does she feel?“
This video answers that and so much more.
2) “Whitehouse – Why You Never Became A Dancer” – Whitehouse are one of the most fucking awesome extreme industrial noise bands ever. I remember seeing a Whitehouse complete box set for $500 at Amoeba in Los Angeles and coming in front of the cash register. I didn’t have $500 though and I never saw that box set again but we had a moment.
This video is awesome. Turn the volume up all the way for maximum effect!
3) “A Lovecraft Dream – short animation movie” – There are countless amazing animated shorts on youtube. This one based on Lovecraft’s nightmares is more sadly beautiful than disturbing but very well done.
4) “262728262728262728262728-262728262728262728″ As random as the title implies, looks like someone just fucking around with a camera but it’s inventive.
5) “The Peanut Vendor – Len Lye 1933″ – Super vintage WTF-kery at its best. This is an incredible stop-motion puppet animation with a catchy song. Len Lye was so ahead of his time I don’t even think the year 3013 is ready for him.
6) “Drillbit (Full length)” – Pure VHS chaos. Your mind will be blown and you’ll also feel strangely nostalgic and you’ll really miss VHS tapes. If Bizarro Central had a TV show, I’d imagine it looking exactly like this.
Enjoy and have a twisted rest of the week Bizarros!
by Tracy Vanity
Death is a part of life, life is a part of death. Here are some interesting final words uttered by some famous dead people you may have heard of.
“I do not believe in my death.” – Salvador Dali
“I hope the exit is joyful and I hope never to return.” – Frida Khalo
“That was a great game of golf fellas!” – Bing Crosby
“Surprise me.” – Bob Hope
“You see, this is how you die.” – Coco Chanel
“My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go. – Oscar Wilde
“Harlot, yes. But traitor, NEVER!” – Mata Hari
by Tracy Vanity
by Tracy Vanity
One of the sexiest cult film directors of all time is 67 years young today. He’s best known to Bizarro film buffs for his amazing mustache and cult classics like Pink Flamingos, Desperate Living, Hairspray, Pecker, and Cecil B. DeMented. Even the youth of today know who he is from this popular Saturday Nigh Live Sketch:
John Waters started off as a rebellious underground punk beatnik stoner with a camera, shocking his hometown of Baltimore, Maryland with his LSD-popping, cross-dressing, shoplifting antics with his gang of fellow crazy artistic hoodlums and soon became a cult legend through his avant-garde films which became a staple in the midnight movie movement for obvious reasons:
Somewhere between the 70′s and now, the self-proclaimed “Pope of Trash” somehow stopped horrifying the masses and became embraced by the mainstream. He is now the go-to man for pop culture wisdom, popping up on TV shows like The Simpsons and even doing commentary on The Little Mermaid special feature because the villain, Ursula, was influenced by Divine!
John Waters is a huge inspiration to me. I have all his movies and suggest a Female Trouble, Desperate Living, and Polyester movie marathon. Female Trouble is my favorite John Waters movie. It’s the most feminist film ever made and every scene is flawlessly funny and quotable.
Aside from making ground-breaking films, John Waters also tours frequently with a one-man-show, writes books, creates kitschy art installations, and makes great comedy albums. I could listen to him talk forever.
That man is witty, entertaining, and a wealth of knowledge about everything from music to marriages that end with one spouse killing the other.
Since it’s also Earth Day, I’d like to point out that I am so glad earth has John Waters because it would suck without him.
❤❤❤ Happy Birthday John Waters! Please live forever! ❤❤❤
by Tracy Vanity
It’s already Wednesday morning here but since I’m from the future this post is still on time somewhere. I’m hungover and tired as fuck right now so these videos are extra soothing and helpful for me. Enjoy!
1) “laughing sailor” – Why anyone would want ONE animatronic laughing sailor is beyond my realm of understanding but 5 makes sense:
2) “Skeleton Jelly” is an old comic meme from an anonymous source that someone decided to narrate and make into a video. I like where it stops but you can watch part 2 if you want.
3) “Auditory Hallucinations – An Audio Representation” is a pretty accurate audio representation of what my head sounds like except I hear it in a girl voice. I’m sure most of you crazy bitches can relate. Thank fuck for Valium!
4) “REAL DEMONS CAUGHT ON TAPE” has some great effects. One of the best “paranormal shit caught on tape” videos I’ve seen.
5) “mkultra psympsons” I haven’t watched “The Simpsons” in years because I think it jumped the shark when Mr. Burns tried to block out the sun. That was a long fucking time ago. Anyway this video has that bit of Simpsons nostalgia with some truly Bizarro wtf shit mixed in. Prepare to be visually and aurally bombarded!
6) I’m going to leave you with something truly amazing. I hate television so for me to recommend anything on TV says a lot. If you have not watched “Black Mirror” you need to! It’s a mini-series from the UK. The 1st season is much better but the 2nd season is still pretty good. I found my favorite episode on youtube. “Black Mirror” is like a futuristic, Orwellian Twilight Zone. I rarely get freaked out by shit but this series totally gave me goosebumps and a panic attack. The video is in English but has Chinese subtitles. Watch it, it’s incredible!
Until next time Bizarros!
by Tracy Vanity
Doing whippits right now, tripping out to my own mind as usual. Happy Twisted Tuesday bitches, here is a dose of true existence in the form of a wondrous animated short shot like a moving graphic novel. Spectacularly done. My compliments to the chef!
by Tracy Vanity
Youtube is filled with a lot of shit videos, especially the ones with 100 billion hits. Fortunately there is also a better side, a Bizarro side for those of us who don’t want to see people waxing poetic on how funny it is that we all take shits every day or watch guys on Adderall with stupid hair reviewing grumpy cat memes.
Fuck those bitches. Here is the better side of youtube:
1) broken screen – In mainstream youtubeland, people say the dumbest shit but I’ve found that the comments in Bizarro youtube do a fantastic job of summing up the true meaning of the video.
vladivostokgunrunner “lol This looks like a backdrop for a 90′s Industrial band.”
It sure does.
2) Dead Life – Trippy and accurate animation about life.
3) advanced gratification - self-explanatory
4) “Affection” 3D Animated Horror Short in HD! – Great 9 minute horror animation. People do this shit for free for the sake of art and it shows!
5) saving planet earth, small steps – It’s earth month. If this video doesn’t convince you to save the planet nothing will.
6) 666 – Again a youtube comment nails it:
reaper4131 “i didnt know satan owned an ipad”
There’s more, so much more, but I’ll save that for another Twisted Tuesday. Until then, have fun Bizarros!
by Tracy Vanity
Even after making a post about creepy bunnies for my Creepypasta Halloween Countdown, I still have a shitload of creepy bunny pics in my folder.
I could give a shit about Easter but I do love creepy bunnies!
If you want more, Retrogasm is posting a shitload of creepy vintage Easter bunny pics on their tumblr.
by Tracy Vanity
I have a total love/hate relationship with Disney. Like everyone, I grew up watching Disney movies and shows and have been to Disneyland hundreds of times so there is that nostalgic connection. As I got older though, much like with everything in my life, I poked around for the “dark” side and found some interesting twisted things about the Disney company as well as many fucked up fan art devoted to The Mouse.
As much as I find Disney to be this villainous, corporate empire, I still love twisted Disney shit.
Today’s Twisted Tuesday is dedicated to the dark side of Disney, both real and “imagineered.”
My favorite bit of weird Disney history is this vintage Mickey Mouse mini-comic called “Mickey and the Medicine Man” where Mickey and Goofy discover a liquid form of speed called “peppo” and become speed dealers!
You can read the whole comic at Erowid. It’s very entertaining.
Here is an episode of a Minnie Mouse cartoon that was banned in the U.S. for being too disturbing for kids. In this episode, Mickey asks Minnie to take care of Pluto. Throughout the episode, Pluto thinks Minnie is trying to kill him. Only the Polish version is available but it’s subtitled in English.
Minnie can be quite an evil bitch.
While we’re on the subject of Disney death, here is a list of some deaths at Disneyland Parks care of Disney Wiki:
-On October 6, 2010, a 53-year-old cleaner, subcontracted to Disney, became trapped underneath a boat on It’s a Small World when the ride was inadvertently switched on while it was being cleaned. The man was taken to a hospital where he later died.
-On June 26, 2007, an unnamed 14-year-old girl lost consciousness on Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster. Paramedics attempted to revive her, but she died before the ambulance arrived. A ride inspection showed no mechanical problems.
-On May 2, 2008, a businessman leapt to his death from his 14th floor balcony at Disneyland Hotel. He was later identified as John Newman, Jr., a dentist from Santa Cruz, California. The hotel has been host to at least two other suicides. In 1994, a 75-year-old man jumped from the ninth floor and was declared dead at the scene. In 1996, a 23-year-old man committed suicide by jumping from the 14th floor. In 1998, a 23 year-old Walt Disney Co. employee jumped from the 14th floor and survived the fall.
-In April 2003, a 36-year old stage technician fell 60 feet from a catwalk in the Hyperion Theater, prompting an investigation by the California Occupational Safety and Health Administration (Cal/OSHA). The victim did not regain consciousness following the incident and died on May 18, 2003. In October 2003, Cal/OSHA fined the Disneyland Resort $18,350 for safety violations related to the crew member’s death.
-On July 8, 1974, cast member Deborah Gail Stone, 18, of Santa Ana, California was crushed to death between a revolving wall and a stationary platform inside the America Sings attraction. She was in the wrong place during a ride intermission; it was unclear whether this was due to inadequate training or a misstep. The attraction was subsequently refitted with breakaway walls.
-On January 3, 1984, 48-year-old Dolly Regina Young of Fremont, California was thrown from a Matterhorn Bobsleds car and struck by the next oncoming bobsled. An investigation showed that her seatbelt was found unbuckled after the accident. It is unclear whether Young delibrately unfastened her belt or if the seatbelt malfunctioned.
-In August 1967, 17-year-old Ricky Lee Yama of Hawthorne, California was killed while jumping between two moving PeopleMover cars as the ride was passing through a tunnel. Yama stumbled and fell onto the track, where an oncoming train of cars crushed him beneath its wheels and dragged his body a few hundred feet before it was stopped by a ride operator. The attraction had only been open for one month at the time.
Those are just a few of the many deaths at Disneyland, there have also been various severe injuries and altercations with “cast members,” my favorite being a recent incident where the White Rabbit pushed & cussed out some annoying teenagers who were messing with his tail.
He should have bitchslapped her. Don’t fuck with Wonderland!
Of course there are loads of reports of weird, paranormal things happening in the Magic Kingdom. My favorite is this creepypasta about some scary shit that went down on the Small World ride:
In 1999, my family visited Disneyland. We happily rode the Small World ride. I was 12 at the time and my sister was 6. We loved every moment and our parents smiled with nostalgia. At one time near the end, some lights suddenly shut off and rear lights illuminated the ceiling. The moving display parts shut off and crew members wearing red overalls walked along them to help passengers in the boats onto the stages to direct them out of the building via emergency exits. A voice came over the loudspeakers. “Disneyland thanks you for your visit. Please evacuate the attraction in an orderly fashion. Keep looking foward and follow the directions of staff. Thank you.”
The staff wouldn’t tell us much as they quickly ushered us out of the building. Ambulances were outside and a police car was parked in the main walkway. At the time, my mother still had her camera out and snapped a few photos of the crewmen and close-ups of the mechanical children. She snapped a few last-minute photos of whatever to use up the last of the roll of film on the camera, since we were going to develop them later that afternoon, anyway. This was the last photo on the reel, aimed at the ceiling at the attraction.
The popularity of dark Disney imagery, creepypastas, and weird Disney facts on the internet has to do with the wholesome image Disney prides itself in trying to achieve/kill people for when everyone knows they are really this evil empire who have taken over the world.
What kind of twisted Disney post would this be if I didn’t mention the Disney/Illuminati connection?
Did you know Disney has this entire creepy, Stepford Wife town in Florida called Celebration where people have been murdered? The dads in Celebration also swap robot wives to relieve boredom.
I will leave you with this fun link to a Disney shoot-em-up game called Los Disneys. The premise is pretty amazing:
The year is 2015. Steeped in national debt, the United States reluctantly allows the Walt Disney Company to purchase the entire peninsula of Florida in the largest geographic acquisition since the Louisiana Purchase. Under its new president, formerly-ousted CEO Michael Eisner, the newly-sovereign state is renamed Los Disneys. Your job is to infiltrate the Magic Kingdom, blasting your way through animatronic pirates, holographic ghosts, tourists, security guards and even Mickey himself in an attempt to seek and destroy the frozen head of Walt Disney. However, doing so inadvertently triggers Eisner’s doomsday device… unless you can stop it…
by Dr. Tracy Vanity
Read especially if you have hypochondria or a medical fetish! The following is a list of real medical syndromes ranging from rare mental and medical disorders to strange medical phenomenon:
Exploding head syndrome is “a condition that causes the sufferer to occasionally experience a tremendously loud noise as originating from within his or her own head, usually described as the sound of an explosion, gunshot, door slamming, roar, waves crashing against rocks, loud voices, a ringing noise, the terrific bang on a tin tray, or the sound of an electrical arcing (buzzing). In some cases an instant flash of what is perceived as video “static” is reported both audibly and visually for a fraction of a second.
This syndrome can also cause the sufferer to feel an extreme rush or adrenaline kick going through his or her head, sometimes multiple times. In most cases, it occurs when they are in a state between asleep and awake. Some sufferers report familiarization with the subsequent fear or panic element such that they no longer consciously experience it.
In some cases repeated attacks lead to the sufferer gaining a fear of sleeping or resting, as this is the most common time for attacks to take place, and this can lead to the development of sleeping disorders such as insomnia.
In some cases it is isolated on the left side of the head, and seems to come from the inner ear region.
A few less common side effects include but are not limited to the following: Increased heavy breathing, loss of appetite and increased laughter.“
II. As the name suggests, clinical lycanthropy, is a psychiatric condition where a person believes they can transform into a wolf. There have been cases of people shifting into other animals as well. Here is a 4-minute video with a monotone narrator which discusses werewolves in legend and its link to modern times:
III. Speaking of werewolves, as the above video referenced, Hypertrichosis, or “werewolf syndrome” is a condition where a person has an abnormal amount of hair growth all over their body which causes them to look like Chewbacca. You will be most familiar with vintage sideshow images of people with hypertrichosis but there are modern cases as well.
IV. Cotard delusion is mental disorder where people believe they have lost blood, organs, or are literally dead.
V. Harlequin-type ichthyosis “(also known as “Harlequin baby”, Harlequin ichthyosis, ichthyosis congenita, Ichthyosis fetalis, keratosis diffusa fetalis, “Harlequin fetus”,:562 and “Ichthyosis congenita gravior”), a skin disease, is the most severe form of congenital ichthyosis, characterized by a thickening of the keratin layer in fetal human skin. In sufferers of the disease, the skin contains massive, diamond-shaped scales, and tends to have a reddish color. In addition, the eyes, ears, penis, and the appendages may be abnormally contracted. The scaly keratin greatly limits the child’s movement. Because of resultant cracked skin in locations where normal skin would fold, it is easily pregnable by bacteria and other contaminants, resulting in serious risk of fatal infection.”
Dr. Strangelove syndrome, or “alien hand syndrome,” is when a person’s hand seems to have a mind of its own and cannot be controlled.
VII. The Fregoli delusion is when a person believes that one entity is taking on the appearance of several people, typically with the belief that this morphing person is trying to cause them harm.
VIII. Diprosopus can occur with several species of animal that has a face. Instead of having one, they are born with two.
IX. Sometimes strange syndromes can happen en masse, such as the “monkey tree phenomenon” in Singapore where people believe there is some sacred monkey spirit in a tree which has helped people win the lottery and saved people from dying car accidents. The tree appears to have the image of two monkeys which is a holy animal in Hindu belief because of the monkey deity, Hanuman.
X. Wonder why those stupid dance crazes like Gangnam Style and Harlem shake are so popular? Well, that is an actual condition…
Dancing mania (also known as dancing plague, choreomania, St John’s Dance and, historically, St. Vitus’ Dance) was a social phenomenon that occurred primarily in mainland Europe between the 14th and 17th centuries. It involved groups of people dancing erratically, sometimes thousands at a time…
Affecting thousands of people across several centuries, dancing mania was not an isolated event, and was well documented in contemporary reports….
The several theories proposed range from religious cults being behind the processions to people dancing to relieve themselves of stress and put the poverty of the period out of their minds. It is, however, thought to be as a mass psychogenic illness in which the occurrence of similar physical symptoms, with no known physical cause, affect a large group of people as a form of social influence.
Be careful not to get caught up on those dance crazes, back in 1519, there was a dancing plague that lasted about a month which caused a bunch of people to die from exhaustion and stroke.
XI. Think you might have ego problems? People with the Truman show delusion believe that their entire life is a staged show and everyone in their lives are actors simply playing along.
XII. I’m still working on my lucid dreaming skills. I’ve only had them a couple times randomly but there are methods in which to purposely have them. If you’ve never had one they are fun. Imagine not only living in a Bizarro world but being able to control everything in it with everything looking and feeling as real as things do in vivid dreams.
XIII. My favorite disorder is Alice in Wonderland syndrome because I love Alice in Wonderland and like that there is a medical disorder named after it. Just like Alice, a person with this delusion feels that they are getting bigger or smaller or objects or parts of their bodies are of a distorted size.
by Tracy Vanity
A lot of detail went into building this hell. A LOT!
That video reminds me of Marwencol, which you should watch if you haven’t already. It’s a documentary about a Mark Hogancamp, who makes an extremely detailed WW2 town called “Marwencol” in his backyard after being brutally attacked. The attack leaves him with brain damage and emotional trama. To get his motor skills and life back, he creates his own world which puts all of our G.I. Joe and Barbie play-time stories to shame.
It’s a really beautiful movie and the pictures Hogancamp shoots of Marwencol are magnificent. Art is incredibly therapeutic and powerful, especially in Hell.
by Tracy Vanity
It’s writing advice week at Bizarro Central and so far there have been some great posts and there will be many more. I have no advice to give on you on writing. I have writing ADD and enjoy the blogging medium because it’s instant gratification and I love me some instant gratification!
I will happily post about fucked up ways people have died, creepy childhood TV shows, random youtube videos, creepy pics, or about how many species of zombie insects there are on the planet, but an actual, fleshed out book or screenplay, takes me forever or never. That kind of writing comes in short, chaotic bursts that wear me out and I can’t touch that project again for days, months, even years. I don’t do writing schedules, I don’t have rules. I do it when it comes, when it feels right and when I have no other choice.
So in-between those chaotic bursts where if I don’t work on my book or screenplay, I get the shakes, when I don’t have that rush of words causing apocalyptic panic attacks until I let it all out by allowing my fingers to attack the keyboard or the pen to scratch out illegible words on my notebook, causing me to create more hellish environments for my characters and myself…I blog or I post random shit or I look at art or watch a movie or fuck or party or do 60 nitrous chargers in one night.
Just like Sam’s post with Chuck Palahniuk’s excellent advice, I don’t sit on the toilet forcing shit to come out when I don’t have to shit, I live my life until the writing demon bites my tits and tells me “it’s time bitch!” Still, it’s great to read what others have to say about writing, just talking and reading about writing can get that fucking writing demon to get over here.
This post is to help stimulate your creativity, even if it’s for a mere second. Perhaps later on something you have seen here will click and you too can be bit in the tit.
I will post 9 pictures. 3 will have short captions that I’ve totally made up based on looking at the pictures without knowing the origin. The rest will not have any writing accompaniment. My hope is that you make up a caption or story for any or more of these pics. Just a little writing exercise to stimulate your demons. Please post your response if anything you see here inspires some words out of you.
It was great to share some laughs with the ole’ crew again. It had been ages since we got to see Bill still boning at it the same way he did when he still had flesh, Jim whose eye sockets still sparkled as he told the best dick jokes, and even Carl whose skull shone better than the rest of us. Even without flesh, he was still a dandy and whatever was left of him was kept in immaculate shape. I don’t know how long we’ve been sitting here but we’ll remain as long as our bones are here and we have some smokes.
Martha had been driving along the highway heading home. She did have 6 inch heels on but bitches are good that way. She’d been listening to Roy Orbison, feeling like she was in some David Lynch film. She happily hummed along to “Sweet and Innocent” when the truck pummeled into her. She didn’t see it coming and neither had the truck driver. Somehow, her face hit the metal so hard it caused a permanent imprint right under the windshield, creating a spectacular piece of modern art.
Julian had heard about the serial killer carnival but he couldn’t believe it was finally here! No one who went in ever came out of course but he was ready. Armed with a nail gun and a bottle of bleach he happily strolled inside.