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Bizarro News Roundup!

Gollums, Neverending Story dragon-slaying, alien sightings, cannibalism, and yet another step towards the robot apocalypse. It’s time for a Bizarro News Roundup kids! Yee-haw!

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  • UFO sighting in Montana:

  • In more alien news, a retired marine has admitted to dedicating 17 years to defending 5 human colonies against Martians. He even enjoyed a nice retirement ceremony on the moon. The 30-minute video at the source link is worth a watch.

mads

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The student waits to be rescued from the giant vagina sculpture

  • “Adelaide man Guy Albon, who had his four guns confiscated due to fears over his ‘mental competency’ brought about by him wearing a colander on his head in his gun licence photo, has been given the all clear after he insisted the utensil was crucial to his religion, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.”

Source

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  • In robot apocalypse news, Japan has unveiled a new robot newscaster among other android prototypes who will plot to destroy all humans in due time! Even with the uncanny valley shit going on, robot technology is finally reaching our Asimov expectations. Enjoy the video!

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Why anyone would kill a flying luck dragon who goes after school bullies is beyond me. My thoughts are with everyone in Fantasia. This is a sad day indeed.
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Credit to  for the above pic and for breaking the news and my childhood.
Never forget…
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Twisted Tuesdays: Animated Gif Apocalypse!

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burst eye fan fantastic planet

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Bizarro Breaking News: 12-year-old Girls Stab a Peer 19 Times in the Name of Slenderman

Prosecutors say two 12-year-old southeastern Wisconsin girls stabbed their 12-year-old friend nearly to death in the woods to please a mythological creature they learned about online.

Both girls were charged as adults with first-degree attempted homicide Monday in Waukesha County Circuit Court; they each face up to 60 years in prison if convicted. A court commissioner set bail at $500,000 cash per child. According to a criminal complaint, the girls had been planning to kill their friend for months and finally made the attempt in a park on Saturday morning, after a slumber party.

One of the girls told a detective they were trying to become “proxies” of Slender Man, a mythological demon-like character they learned about on creepypasta.wikia.com, a website about horror stories and legends. They planned to run away to the demon’s forest mansion after the slaying, the complaint said.

“I recognize their young ages but it’s still unbelievable,” Court Commissioner Thomas Pieper said during one of the girls’ initial court appearances Monday.

The victim suffered 19 stab wounds; one missed a major artery near her heart by a millimeter, doctors told police. She was in stable condition Monday. The court documents did not provide her name.

The Associated Press isn’t naming either girl who is charged because at least one of their attorneys plans to pursue moving her case into juvenile court, where proceedings are secret.

Both girls appeared in court wearing shackles and jail jumpsuits. They were surrounded by sheriff’s bailiffs, who towered over them. Family members of one of the girls wept openly as reporters snapped photographs. The other girl’s family sat stone-faced.

According to the criminal complaint, one of the girls told an investigator they began planning to kill their friend in December. The other girl told police they decided to kill her so they could become proxies of Slender Man, who would accept them and let them live with him in his mansion in the Nicolet National Forest.
The other girl said she sees Slender Man in her dreams. She said he watches her and can read her mind and teleport.

via WCPO

Now  n00bs to the internet are asking what creepypasta is and googling the shit out of Slenderman. Even CNN had a serious discussion about it. THAT is more bizarre to me than pre-teens stabbing each other.
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Via twitter, Slenderman issued a statement in response to the recent stabbings:
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The legend of Slenderman has evolved since its original inception back in 2009 but not until this recent incident has there been anything about him telling kids to try to commit murder. If anything, he tries to murder children or is seen right before their disappearance like in the popular Slenderman game. There is even fan art as to the origins of Slender.
Since Americans like to ban everything when kids do something random and stupid, we’ll see what the fate of Slenderman and creepypasta holds. In the meantime, Slenderman continues to do what he does best, creeping the shit out of people.

Bizarro Breaking News: 8-legged Hermaphroditic Goat Born in Croatia

This extraordinary baby goat has EIGHT legs and both male and female reproductive organs.

Vets say the extraordinary animal’s extra limbs are the result of an underdeveloped twin sibling.

Croatian farmer Zoran Paparic’s couldn’t believe what he was seeing when his goat Sarka recently gave birth.

He said: “I counted his legs and I thought I was seeing things. Then I called my neighbour to make sure that I am not crazy.”

Mr Paparic knows that it is unlikely the goat will survive but if it does could live for two of three years and he is keen to keep him.

via The Mirror


Twisted Tuesdays: Bizarro Photoblast

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Twisted Tuesdays: Semana Santa

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Also known as “Holy Week” this Catholic festival takes place before Easter every year in parts of Spain and Latin America.

If you have watched “American Horror Story: Coven” the creepy pointed hoods in the intro will be familiar:

Referred to as capirotes, these cloaks are used by Nazarenos which are chosen penitents of a sacred Catholic brotherhood. The color of their vestments and the sigil they wear depends on which brotherhood they belong to.

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by Carlos Márquez

by Carlos Márquez

The Semana Santa procession is grand to say the least, with thousands of people gathering around the churches, holding up elaborate religious floats, Jesus on a cross, and an army of pointed hooded figures holding candles and scepters…it’s like a scene from some medieval Illuminati movie or Holy Mountain.

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semana santa procession

by Josef Koudelka

by Josef Koudelka

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Jose Ortiz Echague, 1940

Jose Ortiz Echague, 1940

This year Semana Santa takes place April 13-20.


Twisted Tuesdays: Bizarro News Roundup, April Fools’ Edition!

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What’s fake and what’s real? Does it even make a difference? Here’s the latest weird news, hot off the internet!

  • NETFLIX unveils awesome “Cage Mode” films!

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  • Darth Vader is running for president of the Ukraine!

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Speaking of Florida

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  • The spaghetti harvest goes forward in Switzerland!

Happy April Fools’ Day, Bizarros! Do you have a favorite prank or hoax?

This is definitely a classic:


Twisted Tuesdays: Nightmare hunting with M dot Strange!

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In a town that never changes, children must work and adults get to play. But something is really off about this place called “Lantern Town”…first of all, there are only five children in the whole town and their job is to go out every night to look for monsters. The grownups are pretty creepy with painted on smiles who agree with everything they are told by their sleazy mayor. They drink all day and hang out at the “Lantern House” where shady decadent shit goes down.

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Things literally run like clockwork until a strange man comes into town and changes everything. Nightmares are unleashed and the children are forced to face their fears which includes M dot’s signature chaos battles with crazy monsters and epic bosses.

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Ever since I came across a copy of We Are The Strange several years back, I’ve been a big fan of M dot Strange’s work. His animation is not only trippy and unique but he’s 100% independent, making 3 full-length feature animations by himself!

Typically, I’m a total pirate and torrent the shit out of movies, TV shows, and music, but when I see an independent artist making something I really enjoy that blows my tits off, I support them if/when I have the money. Thankfully, I had just gotten paid as soon as I am Nightmare Deluxe Edition was officially released so I was able to buy it and watch it immediately. I had been following M dot’s creative process through his twitter and was really looking forward to seeing the finished product. I am Nightmare did not disappoint. It was great to see how much M dot Strange’s animation has progressed since his first movie, focusing more on story and characters than his previous films, and further developing his computer animation skills with the hours upon hours of practice he’s had.

M dot was nice enough to answer some questions about being a totally independent animator, as well as his inspiration and his nightmares!

M dot Strange by iniZny


1) There is a reoccurring theme in all of your movies with dolls and the underdog having to battle this giant video game-like boss. Is this theme influenced by you being a completely independent filmmaker battling the big boss of the entertainment industry?

Doing what I do the way I do it, I guess I do feel like I’m this tiny speck competing with and going up against this giant scary machine, so that tends to show up in my stuff. Also observing the giant machine that is the status quo pulverizing people day after day can’t help but seem like the biggest most terrifying monster looming over us all everyday- it’s the ultimate bad guy-

2) What inspired I am Nightmare and your other films?

I am Nightmare was really inspired by me having grown up as a kid who thought he knew better with his life choices but was constantly told by people older/richer/more experienced than me that the world was a certain way and that’s how it would always be and that I was foolish to try and do something outside of its rules- to me “reality” is a nightmare here in the United States- what started out as the “American Dream” is now a nightmare that helps terrorize the whole world- meanwhile most people here just go about their lives like everything is great- to some people its a dream-to most its a nightmare- it was also inspired by the Nietzsche book “Antichrist“- what I got from that book was that in order to be a true artist or someone that causes change you have to become what the status quo would call the Antichrist- or a nightmare to their dream as I used it- my other films were inspired by small real life events that I spun into strange fantasy scenarios- We Are the Strange was inspired by a cat crying in a warehouse I walked by at night once- Heart String Marionette was inspired by a dream I had about inanimate objects coming to life as I walked by them.

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3) Why did you decide to go gonzo and make your movies independently instead of selling your soul and becoming a slave to some big studio?

I do this because I love doing it- I’ve never done it because I wanted to be rich or famous- its just the most interesting thing I’ve found to do with my time and life- I’m trying to make the best stuff I can with integrity- I had my chances to “go Hollywood” but the people I was meeting with from that industry- I found them mostly to be classless, talentless buffoons who only got their positions of power because of who they knew or who they were related too- that’s bullshit- if I don’t like people, or I think they’re frauds, I can’t/don’t pretend, I just walk away. And the people in the power positions in Hollywood seem like a bunch of frauds to me who only care about making money.

4) How do you fund your films?

There’s not much to fund- since I do everything- funding my films involves keeping me alive, having a place to live + utilities, food to eat and computers to use- and I do that by any means necessary- sales of my various wares- freelance jobs- charity from my family/friends- living cheap- the only non life expense for I am Nightmare was the $1500 I spent paying voice actors and I raised that money through donations- so the budget on I am Nightmare was $1500- this past year and a half I put all the money in Bitcoin and other crypto-currencies I hope that continues to grow than I could use that to fund my stuff- this past week I’ve been selling computer parts on ebay for money.

5) You made a promise to yourself and your fans that you would make I am Nightmare in a year and would subsequently make a movie a year from now on. It takes a major studio company several years to complete an animated movie. Why did you decide to do that to yourself?

I realized that even though its a lot of work for me to make one or two or three films- in the big picture that’s nothing to a film fan- I realized I need to have 7-10 feature films out there to get peoples attention- to really get things going for my film career- With I am Nightmare I wanted to see if it was possible and I did it so one a year seemed like a good way to make sure I get a lot of my work out there- but I’m already going back on my word as I am Nightmare hasn’t sold as many copies as I thought so I can’t live off of it for very long at all and I can’t bank on my next film doing that either so in 2014 I’m focusing on starting my own online film school and making and selling video games- once I have that stuff going and making steady money than I can fuck around for another year on a movie- I’m hoping I’ll be able to do another movie in 2015 though- its technically possible for me to make a new movie every year + games + music + a lot of other things IF I have to funding so its my goal to secure that first.

6) You mentioned in your youtube video that you also want to work on video games as well. You also make music and are known to put out an entire album while working on making a movie. How do you manage to do all that? What projects are you working on right now?

Yeah before I was a failed filmmaker I was a failed musician now I hope to be a failed game designer haha- I love music and films and I’ve always loved a good game- I started with music the same time I started doing films and they just grew with each other as audio/music skills really help film production- now with the video game thing- I always thought the tools were too difficult because I’m not a programmer but in the past three weeks I’ve been teaching myself game design making two joke games already “Dicks will fall on your head‘ and “Robots are dicks” my mind kind of exploded as I got these basic game making skills- I’ve got about 12 different games ideas and I’m working on one now- so this year its all about video games for me but I’ll probably kick out one or two music albums as well as if I don’t make music for too lang I go kinda crazy but yeah I’d like to take the worlds/experiences/emotions I create in my films and make them playable experiences for people as games- I’m really excited by the possibilities now I just need to learn the tools-

7) What is your ultimate nightmare?

Since I’m a control freak..it probably have something to do with slavery- not having my own free will to do what I want- or being a little kid and having some stupid religious fanatic parent running my life…

You can watch the first 15 minutes of I am Nightmare here:

If you like what you see, I highly recommend purchasing the full movie and M dot’s other movies to help fund his future projects. He is the only person I know of who has managed to create 3 animated features on his own and has 0 interest in selling out to Hollywood! A typical animated feature takes hundreds of people and millions of dollars! M dot Strange is proof that complete artistic freedom and independence is not only possible and a better choice, but based on the shit that major entertainment corporations are shelling out, supporting independent artists is necessary if you want art that will wake you up and inspire you instead of enslave your mind.


Twisted Tuesdays: Bizarro Short Film Festival

“Mouthful” by MyNameIsSwann

This first Bizarro short is pretty much Batman with clowns. I love clowns.

A beautifully made, dark, creepy, stop-motion animation about birth and decay.

Avey Tare from Animal Collective created this music video to promote his album “Enter the Slasher House.” Little Fang, the cat vampire-looking puppet, is from the Jim Henson’s Creature Shop and there is a serious nod to The Forbidden Zone.

A short by Harmony Korine!

A Texas sheriff battles aliens who want to snatch everyone’s thumbs. A very Bizarro stop-motion animation!

If you’ve never heard of Meatball Machine, here’s the plot:

“Yōji is a young lonely factory worker who falls for an equally lonely girl co-worker, Sachiko, but is unable to tell her of his interest. After he is assaulted in a theater by a crossdresser, Yōji finds what looks like an alien insect and hides it in his room. The next night, he comes across Sachiko being sexually attacked by another fellow worker. He attempts to come to her aid but is beaten. Sachiko feels sorry for him and returns with him to his apartment. During this encounter, Sachiko is attacked by the alien object which penetrates her and turns her into a bio-mechanical monster, a NecroBorg. These parasites take over human bodies and use their flesh to create weapons which they use to fight each other. Yōji is also infected and the plot eventually leads to a showdown fight to the death between the two would-be lovers. A side plot concerns a father who is out to kill the NecroBorgs who have also infected his daughter.”

I had to cut and paste that from wikipedia because really there’s no way in hell I would have been able to explain it using my own words. There really aren’t any words. Anyway, this rock-video-like short is a prequel to the movie and will help explain the movie better…or at least I think it’s supposed to. If you like Troma-esque Japanese campy splatter randomness, you’ll love this:

Until next time Bizarros!


Twisted Tuesdays: Antlers & Horror

Hannibal, CBS

Hannibal, CBS

Antlers are a predominant image in the “Hannibal” television series. It is represented in connection to the Wendigo, a metaphor for Hannibal Lecter himself. The Wendigo is an antlered demonic cannibalistic spirit in Algonquian legend. There is also a mental disorder called the “Wendigo Psychosis” in which the main symptom is a strong craving for human flesh. 

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Hannibal, CBS

The antlers in Hannibal are then used to represent Hannibal’s cravings and killings. Dead bodies displayed on antlers is a consistent visual element which is very striking and even sadistically artistic.

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Of course I was bombarded by the internet hype over the “True Detective” series and decided to give it a try. I couldn’t get past the first episode, I found it rather dull. But I found it interesting that the first dead body shown had antlers.

True Detective, HBO

True Detective, HBO

Of course since I wasn’t that enthusiastic about the show in the first place, I merely assumed they were ripping off “Hannibal.” “Hannibal” creator, Brian Fuller, addressed this in an interview at the Television Critics Association winter press tour:

“Anybody who saw Salem’s Lot in 1979 where James Mason impaled that guy on the antlers, it’s probably all coming from that traumatic experience in our childhoods, I imagine they probably saw the same thing that inspired, you know, the imagery in this show.”

via The Wrap

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I haven’t watched Salem’s Lot but I will now! Here are some more examples of antlers used in horror:

Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)

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Caesar & Otto’s Deadly Xmas (2013)

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The Lost Boys, (1987)

More surreal than horror but David Lynch always counts…

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Of course a horror movie about the Wendigo would have antlers. You can watch the full Wendigo film here:

Are there other examples of antlers used in horror movies and shows, or scenes of death by antlers?


Meanwhile in Japan…


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Put the glasses on!

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Twisted Tuesdays: Bizarro News Roundup!

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 Another victim came forward over the weekend, the fourth woman accusing 42-year-old Christopher Pagano of his cheesy trick: Exposing his penis while asking victims to pleasure him with Swiss cheese. Police and witnesses, who have dubbed him the “Swiss Cheese Pervert,” say the man has been terrorizing residents in Mayfair, Penn. since the beginning of January.

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http://youtu.be/pqF2Lr8RkDk

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http://youtu.be/Re3DZi-DFrc

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One of these days…

Until next time Bizarros!


Twisted Tuesdays: Animated Gif Apocalypse

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Twisted Tuesday: Vintage Knife Throwing

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Also known as the “impalement arts,” throwing knives at a human target dates back to the 1st century and has been commonly seen in vaudeville acts, carnivals, and circus sideshows. This great art is still practiced today. The Great Throwdini is currently the fastest and most famous impalement artist in the world!

A common myth about impalement art is that the knives really aren’t being thrown and are instead hidden under the knife thrower’s sleeve as a rigged board springs up with knives along the human target. This is actually false. Knife throwers are really throwing those knives and there is definitely some real danger involved. Typically, the one in danger is a beautiful woman:

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But that’s not always the case…

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Anyone who has ever watched “Wonder Showzen” will be familiar with this cute little cherub-faced girl having knives thrown at her in the intro. This footage comes from a 50’s knife throwing act where Louella Gallagher, a Texas mother, would throw knives at her 5 and 2 1/2 year-old daughters: Connie Ann & and Colleena Sue. This newsreel of this 50’s knife throwing family is a great vintage gem.

The Gallaghers weren’t the only child-target impalement art acts, there was also Florence Shufflebottom, who not only practiced knife throwing, but also sharpshooting and snake charming.

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If you’re a fan of vintage carnivals, this BBC documentary, which features an interview with Florence Shufflebottom (damn that’s a great name) is terrific! It has loads of great carnival footage and history.

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Until next time Bizarros!


Twisted Tuesdays: Bizarro Photoblast

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“Hamlet” by Sam Weber

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“Better Stay In Bed” by Orioto

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“It’s More Seet Now” by ErinEatsTheKids

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“Portrait of Civilization” by Lieko Shiga

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Cannibal Holocaust, directed by Ruggero Deodato (1980)

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The Shining, directed by Stanley Kubrick (1980)

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X-ray of murder victim, Chen Liu, found by 2 children in Sydney, 2009.

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Twisted Tuesdays: Bizarro Animated Short Festival

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Nothing is more soothing and inspiring than a dose of weird animation. Just like with Bizarro fiction, there are things you can do in animation that can be impossible to recreate in real life. Not only are all these shorts bizarre and well-crafted, they also convey ideas without the use of dialogue. Hopefully these are new to you, or if not, they are fun to rewatch. I recommend viewing them in full screen for maximum effect.

Let’s start you off with this short about a voodoo doll who rescues his friends from the fate of all voodoo dolls. It might make you hesitate the next time you pick up that pin…

Why did the red Furby-looking critter cross the road? Another excellent stop-motion animation from Zealous Creative.

The latest tripped-out animation from cyriak involves hallucinogenic chimpanzees.

I love stop-motion animation, especially when it involves creepy white clay beings with black melted eyes that remind me of art by Olivier de Sagazan.  Scott Walker‘s beautifully haunting crooning fits perfectly.

An antlered skull creature limp-runs through a glitchy CGI world of LSD-inspired chaos.

There is an Alice in Wonderland quality to this last short. Instead of a rabbit hole, the protagonist falls through a surreal 3D hospital in search of beauty.

Are there any short animated movies that you’ve enjoyed recently? Feel free to share them!


Royals

I have a thing for clowns…


Twisted Tuesdays: Bizarro News Roundup!

Unfortunately, the story about Gordon Ramsay’s midget porn star double being eaten by badgers was an old hoax but damn that was one hell of a headline!

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It’s been awhile since I’ve updated you on the weird shit happening around the world so here’s the latest Bizarro news!

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Until next time Bizarros!


Twisted Tuesdays: The Tokoloshe

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As I mentioned in a post about Krampus, kids need something to scare the shit out of them to not only get them to not be shitheads, but also because scaring the shit out of kids with stories of supernatural creatures that will get them for misbehaving is a fun tradition we should continue to uphold. It’s healthy for them.

In South Africa, there is a boogeyman/demon-like creature which varies in appearance. Some people say it is like a small hairy human, some say more like a dog, others say it’s a shape-changing vampire spirit…it seems to depend on what their grandmother told them. One thing is for sure, if a kid is being a real pain in the ass in South Africa, then the Tokoloshe will be sure to take their ass away unless they listen to their elders.

But the Tokoloshe doesn’t just terrorize children, it can cause a lot of evil and mischief for adults as well. There are reports of horny Tokoloshe that force themselves on victims, Tokoloshe that steal, and even ones that murder.

I first heard about the Tokoloshe in Die Antwoord’s “Evil Boy” music video. There is a dancing Tokoloshe with a huge dangling cock.

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Ninja and Yo-landi made a video with VICE, asking people in their neighborhood about what the Tokoloshe is. They even speak to a witch doctor and a journalist from The Daily Sun to learn more about this mysterious, mischievous monster. The story Ninja tells about his nanny putting bricks under her bed because of the Tokoloshe is creepy.

Africarve made this cool Tokoloshe puppet in case you want to sic them on any brats:

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Twisted Tuesdays: Bizarro Photoblast!

Which pictures speak to you? What do they say?

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Twisted Tuesdays: Vintage Faces of War

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Plastic surgery dates back to Ancient Egypt where the dead were given enhanced cheekbones and noses, or in the case of King Tut, glorious boners that have lasted through the ages that are still mystifying the people of today. But it wasn’t until WWI & WWII, when doctors were working to treat soldiers mangled during battle, that plastic surgery truly took off.

The medical innovations during that time had a great impact on the current surgical technology used today. And of course the pictures of the soldiers who had their faces reconstructed in the early 1900’s are incredible given the severity of their injuries and the medical capabilities of that time period. Even by today’s standards where total facial reconstruction is still being improved upon, the end results of facial reconstructive surgeries back then are remarkable.

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“Records of the pioneering plastic surgery performed by Dr Harold Gillies on WWI soldiers William M. Spreckley, a Lieutenant from the Sherwood Foresters Service in the British contingent, 16th battalion. He was Gillies’ 132nd patient and was admitted to the hospital in January 1917 at the age of 33 with a ‘gunshot wound nose’. He was discharged three and a half years later in October 1920″

via The Telegraph

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Four photographs documenting the facial reconstruction of a solider who’s cheek was extensively wounded during the Battle of the Somme (July 1916). Taken from ‘Plastic surgery of the face : based on selected cases of war injuries of the face including burns’ (1920) by H D Gillies ; with chapter on the prosthetic problems of plastic surgery by Capt. W Kelsey Fry; and remarks on anaesthesia by Capt. R Wade.

Source

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Walter Yeo, a sailor injured at the Battle of Jutland, is assumed to be the first person to receive plastic surgery in 1917. The photograph shows him before (left) and after (right) receiving a flap surgery performed by Gillies.

Lieutenant Norman Eric Wallace

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Extreme reconstructive surgery. Name of patient unknown.

If you’ve watched Boardwalk Empire, you will be familiar with Richard Harrow, a WWI veteran with half his face missing. He wears a facial prosthetic and is a sharpshooting badass.

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His character was inspired by real World War I soldiers who had artists recreate missing parts of their face.

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vintage prosthetic

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The “Tin Nose Shop” in London where realistic masks were created to help wounded soldiers. Smithsonian Magazine has an excellent article about this called “Faces of War.”

There is also footage of this “shop,” the film is originally silent but someone added some music that you might wish to replace or mute depending on your personal taste in such things…


Twisted Tuesdays: 80’s New Year Horror Double Feature!

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What better way to celebrate another meaningless holiday than with some old school slasher films? Here are two horror classics that take place on New Year’s Eve:

First up is the classic Terror Train. Starring scream queen, Jamie Lee Curtis, this is a great film about a group of college kids who are having a NYE costume party on a moving train with a crazed masked killer on board who wants revenge!terror train

Next up is New Year’s Evil about Blaze, a punk rock TV host who is having a rockin’ NYE’s television countdown when she receives a call live on the air from a guy called “Evil” who makes a New Year’s resolution to murder someone at midnight in each time zone. He starts by killing women Eastern Standard Time and quickly makes his way to the West side where Blaze is the murderer’s grand New Year’s finale.

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NYE

Happy New Year Bizarros! May the new year be even more bizarre and twisted than the last!


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