It’s September Bizarros! That means it’s time to get serious with the Halloween spirit. So grab your pumpkin spice dildos and get ready!
If this music video of Tim Curry dressed as an 80’s vampire and channeling David Bowie doesn’t put you in the Halloween mood, nothing will! I’ve never watched The Worst Witch, but apparently it’s pretty dull aside from this incredible music video that comes out of nowhere.
As you might have noticed, I watch a lot of youtube. One of my favorite youtube channels is “Ask a Mortician” where a mortician answers cool questions about death, from death shits to foreskin wedding rings. I love Caitlin!
Typing of death, here is my favorite Nightmare on Elm Street death of all time. It involves twink Johnny Depp, a bed, and a lot of blood! Thanks Wes Craven for giving the world one of the best monsters of all time and inspiring some inventive kills.
Nothing says Halloween like Vincent Price dressed as a polar bear, in a wine cooler commercial. Nothing.
I’ve been binge watching Key & Peele lately because they’re hilarious. It’s great to see comedy taken to its full artistic potential with social commentary and theatrical silliness. Key & Peele are talented as fuck. Their range of characters is impressive. I’m sad that this will be their last season but they put out some amazing comedic content that I’ve been watching over and over again. Their “Sexy Vampires” sketch is a must watch. It brings up the serious question of vampire stereotyping in films.
Watching horror movies is the best way to get into the spirit of the season. Blood for Dracula is on my Halloween rotation every year and still makes me laugh. I love Udo Kier so much. In this film, he’s is a sexy vampire who is having some trouble finding virgin blood to keep him alive. I’m sure I’ve posted this before since this is such a classic movie with one of my favorite movie lines of all time:
You can watch the full movie here for now:
So Bizarros, what are your favorite things to do to get you into the Halloween spirit? Any favorite movies or creepy places in your area?
Buddhist Hell is a real place and you can visit several of them throughout Thailand. In a previous post, I took you through a Buddhist hell I stumbled across randomly while on a road trip in Khon Kaen. These hells are within Buddhist temples and are a reminder of what happens if you are a bad Buddhist. Every torturous scene depicts the hell that awaits you if you commit a certain sin. It’s so much fun!
I’ve been dying to visit more hells and hadn’t had the chance. So this week while on vacation, I decided to finally cross another hell off my list, hop on a bus, and travel to Chonburi province, a little over an hour away from Bangkok, to visit the Wat Saen Suk (Hell Garden.) It did not disappoint. It was an amazing gruesome giant art installation plopped in a nice, quiet Thai residential area.
It was hot as hell and I noticed there weren’t any taxis for miles, so I made sure the motorcycle taxi I rode on stayed put as I ran through the gates to snap pictures of purgatory.
Hello Bizarros! I’m working less and feeling the Halloween buzzzz. This means that Twisted Tuesdays will return next week, followed by the annual Chaos Countdown. So tune in because I have a lot of weird, crazy, creepy shit to share with you!
In the meantime, have a Bizarro Photoblast to whet your whistle!
- Charles Manson is married! Congrats to the lovely couple. Jezebel posted some lessons we can all learn about love from Charlie and Star. Please note it is incorrect to call Manson a serial killer or mass murderer. Technically, he didn’t kill anyone, he just told his cult to. He also made lovely music with the Family.
- A park in Poland bans Winnie the Pooh because he’s a “half-naked hermaphrodite.”
- “Bumfights” creator wanted in Thailand for illegally trying to ship human body parts which he stole from the Bangkok Forensics Museum.
- “Naked man crashes through airport ceiling before violently attacking 84-year-old, say police” I think the craziest thing about this is that this didn’t happen in Florida!
- A Chinese hospital has devised a way to make men feel the pain of childbirth.
“Free sessions are held twice a week at Aima maternity hospital in Shandong province and about 100 men have signed up to be tortured. Most are expectant dads but there are thrill seekers too among the volunteers for ‘taster sessions.'”
- Speaking of signing up to be tortured, the McKamey Manor is still continuing their extreme haunt experience past Halloween. Russ keeps saying he is toning shit down but this last video is creepier than the ones in the last post. Two tough guys dressed as the Super Mario Bros end up throwing up and crying after 20 minutes! Also note the reference to Vegas. Russ live streams the haunts to unknown people in Vegas! You really need to watch this:
- On the 50th anniversary of the Kennedy assassination, Fidel Castro tells The Atlantic that he believes Kennedy was assassinated due to a CIA conspiracy. JFK conspiracy theorists rejoice.
- While we’re on the subject of conspiracies, that bit with Jim Carrey “joking” about the Illuminati on Jimmy Kimmel was kind of creepy.
- Anonymous fights the KKK after the KKK threaten to shoot Ferguson protesters. Anonymous doxed the official KKK site and hacked their twitter account. They also “removed the hoods” of various KKK members, revealing all their personal information via twitter. The KKK are not happy.
- Meet the human platypus!
- British doctors found a tapeworm living in a man’s brain after he kept complaining about headaches. AHHHH!
- Want to try something new for Thanksgiving? How about deep fried tarantulas? It’s not that weird in Thailand. They eat all kinds of bugs here. I can buy some deep fried bugs right now off some street cart except I’m a vegan.
- A toddler in China accidentally lodges a chopstick up his nose all the way into his brain. You can see an x-ray of this and more fucked up x-rays here.
- London man wears a chicken skin gimp suit.
- Lab grown penises are real and ready to be tested on humans. Any volunteers?
And just in case you haven’t been on the internet in the past month:
Until next time Bizarros!
It’s Dia de Los Muertos already, I was too busy getting wasted and putting on zombie makeup to make a post on Halloween proper but here’s my belated Halloween gift to you. A bombardment of creepy pics!
You should play this song while viewing them.
Bonus: My friend sent me this awesome video for Halloween that another friend described as a “horror snuff film.” This should have been V/H/S Viral instead of that crap it ended up being. It’s creepy and has some hot sex!
Hope you had an amazing Halloween and enjoyed this year’s Halloween Chaos Countdown. What did you dress up as?
It’s Devil’s Night Bizarros! Time to play some pranks, set fire to shit, and hail Satan! You can even name your cat, dog, or kid, after a demon.
Speaking of animals, here are 6 animals who surely came from the depths of hell or were at least named after The Dark Lord.
1) Ayam Cemani (Gallus gallus domesticus)
This Indonesian chicken is the blackest animal in the world. Even its bones and meat are black!
2) Jacob Sheep (Ovis aries)
Baphomet incarnate, Jacob sheep can have 2-6 horns and are aggressive enough that they are used as guards in farms.
3) Satanic Leaf Gecko (Uroplatus phantasticus)
Found only in Madagascar, these geckos look a lot like dragons.
Aside from looking cool, they don’t really do anything demonic. They just use their cool tail which looks like a dead rotting leaf to lure prey.
The common and scientific names of this species refer to a local superstition: it is associated with a “wet” plopping sound, repeated twice, that may be heard in the nighttime in its habitat. Locals believe this bird to be a demonic entity that tears the eyes of sleeping people out, hence the sound. 
5) Anopheles Mosquito (Anopheles gambiae)
Why is a mosquito on this list? Because it’s the deadliest animal in the world. This little bugger spreads malaria which kills over 600,000 people a year!
6) Blackdevil fish (Melanocetus johnsonii)
These deepsea anglerfish are monstrous creatures.
“The female lurks in the dark, drawing in prey with her glowing lure, while the male attaches to her like a blood-sucking parasite. Females can swallow prey larger than their own bodies.”
Bonus: Old school documentary on Satan and demonic possession with Boyd Rice singing “Total War” in the intro! A classic!
3 Days Until Halloween!