The cult section of the literary world

Halloween Chaos Countdown: Extra Spooky Bizarro News Roundup!

6 days until Halloween!

It’s now the home stretch Bizarros! Halloween is just around the corner. Time fucking flies!

The point of a Chaos Countdown is for things to be completely random. But I have not made it random enough for my liking. There just isn’t enough CHAOS. This countdown feels like it’s missing something. It needs something more like this:

or this:

tumblr_muhl2nw8kL1suykoeo1_500

or even…THIS:

ouija

Perhaps come Halloween, I’ll get the right chaotic Halloween combo to finally summon Cthulhu or at least an army of zombies. In the meantime, I haven’t done a Bizarro News Roundup in awhile so here’s the latest Bizarro news, spooky edition muhahaha!!!

ku-xlarge

A woman who arrived at China’s Changsha Central Hospital with an itchy ear received the worst diagnosis imaginable: A small spider had apparently crawled into her ear canal while she slept, and had been dwelling inside her for the past five days.”

My ear is feeling itchy…

There is also this random low-budget movie I found on youtube, with a lot of naked chicks called Bath Salt Zombies!

1297480321054_ORIGINAL

run

  • Have you read about the only known pair of real necropants housed in the Museum of Icelandic Sorcery & Witchcraft yet? If not, where the fuck have you been? It’s probably the best spooky Bizarro news EVER! Just look at the pants!

necropants

So how does one acquire a pair of these awesome serial killer-like duds? Well it’s really easy. All you need to do is…

“get permission from a living man to use his skin after his death.

After he has been buried you must dig up his body and flay the skin of the corpse in one piece from the waist down. As soon as you step into the pants they will stick to your own skin.

A coin must be stolen from a poor widow and placed in the scrotum along with the magical sign, nábrókarstafur, written on a piece of paper. Consequently the coin will draw money into the scrotum so it will never be empty, as long as the original coin is not removed.

To ensure salvation the owner has to convince someone else to overtake the pants and step into each leg as soon as he gets out of it. The necropants will thus keep the money-gathering nature for generations.”

via disinformation

PS – I will never get tired of typing necropants. NEVER!

Until next time Bizarros!

NECROPANTS!!!!

One response

  1. Pingback: The Darker Side of Blogging: A Spooky Roundup, Part Two | oldienewbies

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 888 other followers