Twisted Tuesdays: Gumbyman’s Youtube Descent into Madness
by Tracy Vanity
The following is a 1:40:12 second video of a man, who calls himself “TheNewStoryteller,” sitting in a room reading Thomas the Tank Engine and Tug books, while dressed in a Gumby costume. The best part of this video is the audio.
It’s impossible to understand a word he’s saying because he’s speaking in this weird, indiscernible, deep, Buffalo Bill voice the entire duration of the video. It’s one of the most horrifyingly hypnotic youtube videos I’ve ever seen in my life.
The sounds he makes of the trains chugging…I burst into hysterical laughter every time he does that. Although I haven’t sat and watched the entire video, I find myself going back to it from time to time and just allowing Gumby’s voice to play in the background. I’m listening to Gumby read as I type this post…
But the story doesn’t end there. If you look at TheNewStoryteller’s youtube page, you will know the true meaning of madness. Not only does he currently have 2,068 videos dedicated to Thomas the Tank Engine, but most of the videos are over an hour long. Some are even over 4 hours long!
In his earlier videos, TheNewStoryTeller spoke in a relatively normal voice and seemed to just be a Thomas the Tank Engine enthusiast but the videos started getting longer and uploaded more frequently and his voice morphed into that unsettling muffling sound.
As if Thomas wasn’t creepy enough on his own, I will never view him the same ever again. And I teach kindergarten so I have to see that smug, creepy train face every day since he has embedded his fascist totalitarian agenda into the minds of my students.
If you have a lot of time to creep yourself out, browse through TheNewStoryteller’s youtube page. I am now a subscriber/cult member.
Bonus material: Ok, I’m spending way too much time googling Thomas the Tank Engine, but I came across this unsettling little post from a parent whose kid started screaming when he saw an episode of the show, the real one not the Gumby version:
“We bought him the DVD thinking he would love it. We read the Thomas books and he never has a problem with them. The second he sees them in motion though, it’s like all the secrets of hell have been revealed to him. He starts shaking his head in disbelief shouting “No! No! No!” He slowly backs up and startles at their every move on screen, then he runs out of the room in a panic.”