Flash Fiction Friday: Please Call Me, Kreayshawn

by Cliff Winnig, Nick Mamatas, Cameron Pierce and Kirsten Alene

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Here’s a special treat from the World Fantasy Convention in San Diego, California.

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When I saw Kreayshawn walk down the street, I called out to her—“Hey, Kreayshawn how’s it going?” But the bitch just ignored me.

Later, about seventeen feet down Broadway, I saw a crayfish. This is always happening in Louisiana. “Hey crayfish!” I said, “how’s it going?” But the bitch just ignored me.

That night I went down to the lagoon. I said, “Hey lagoon.” But the lagoon just ignored me. Bitch-goon.

So I went home. I looked in the mirror and said, “Hey me.” And my reflection said, “I ain’t talkin’ to you no more. You’re the bitch.” I stared in the mirror a long time. But the real bitch is, my reflection was right. I was the bitch. Ain’t that a bitch. So I went to bed.

Please call me, Kreayshawn.

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Cameron Pierce is the editor of Lazy Fascist Press and the author of Cthulhu Comes to the Vampire Kingdom, The Pickled Apocalypse of Pancake Island, Lost in Cat Brain Land, and other books.

Kirsten Alene is the author of Love in the Time of Dinosaurs.

Cliff Winnig is an author, dancer, and sitar player. His short fiction appears in many places, including The Aether Age: Helios (Hadley Rille Books/M-Brane Press), Footprints (Hadley Rille Books), and Jack-o’-Spec, Retro Spec, and Cinema Spec (Raven Electrick Ink).

Nick Mamatas is the author of many books including Under My Roof, Move Under Ground, and most recently The Damned Highway (with Brian Keene).

Kreayshawn is a gangster, a music video director, and a rapper.