by Tracy Vanity
You know when you were a kid and were watching Terminator 2 and were like “Damn, what if that really happened?” and then you re-watched it when you were older and were like “wait a minute…” and then you watched The Matrix and shit really fucked with your head didn’t it?
Well Bizarros, the moment you’ve all been dreaming about is here! Robots are going to take over the world and destroy us all but the good thing is that at least the Robocalypse will look cool because robots are fucking awesome. At least they are much cleaner and efficient than zombies and they will clean our homes, fuck us, and serve us booze, before killing us all!
So here is the latest in Robocalypse technology:
Chinese Farmer Creates Army of Home-Made Robots
Wu Yulu, a Chinese farmer, from a small village, outside Beijing, has created a series of 47 robots, out of scrap metal. They can accomplish various functions, from drinking, to walking and even pulling a rickshaw.
…The strangest thing, about Wu Yulu, is he declared he loves his metal robots, more than he loves his own kids. He refers to his rickshaw robot as his 32nd son, and even programmed it to say “Wy Yulu is my dad, I take him out on the town.” How cool is that!
More than 70 countries already use unmanned drones – aerial vehicles that are capable of gathering intelligence, or seeking and, if necessary, eliminating targets. At present, the latter decision is still made by human operators via remote control. Human decision-making, however, seems to be waning, while unmanned fighter robots act increasingly on their own. The pilotless aircraft can already be programmed to maneuver completely autonomously. The X-47B drone is still being tested, but once it is ready for action, the aircraft will be able to conduct missions largely autonomously and without human control.
The wonderful people at DARPA just posted this cute robot:
Meet “Robbie the Robot” who is playing a game of what appears to be Simon all by himself which means he can become self-aware at any moment and destroy the planet.
Artificial Skin That’s Way More Sensitive to Touch Than The Real Thing
Scientists have created a paper-thin flexible “skin” that can detect pressure that’s a few hundred times lighter than a gentle touch. This new material could eventually make its way into artificial or robotic limbs — but for now researchers have found that it is absolutely amazing at reading a pulse.
Robotic Ants Successfully Mimic Real Colony Behavior
Scientists have successfully replicated the behaviour of a colony of ants on the move with the use of miniature robots, as reported in the journal PLOS Computational Biology. The researchers, based at the New Jersey Institute of Technology (Newark, USA) and at the Research Centre on Animal Cognition (Toulouse, France), aimed to discover how individual ants, when part of a moving colony, orient themselves in the labyrinthine pathways that stretch from their nest to various food sources.
Don’t snatch! Disney Research builds robot that takes objects more naturally
Robotic fly takes off at Harvard
World’s smallest robot, Robobee, has wingspan of three centimetres
Robotic device heralds new era
It looks like a large drill, but this piece of equipment in South Canberra is no construction tool.
In years to come it may make your smartphone even smarter and help your car drive itself, with scientists believing basic global positioning technology can be accurate to the centimetre by the end of the decade.
Robots are One Step Closer to Putting More Humans Out of Work
The Pentagon has released a video of a robotic arm able to handle tools well enough to nearly complete a tire change.
And while the video is new, Gill Pratt, a project manager at the Pentagon’s Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA), told The New York Times it’s already outdated as the team has moved on to more dexterous hands capable of actually threading a bolt
According to its site, DARPA is the “principal agency within the Department of Defense for high-risk, high-payoff research, development and demonstration of new technologies and systems that serve the warfighter and the Nation’s defense.”
Inventions to have come out of their labs include stealth fighters, remote-controlled vehicles and GPS. Furthermore, the agency played a leading role in the development of the Internet.
Despite the obvious benefits of these innovations, however, many who see the video of the robotic arm unscrewing bolts from a tire are seeing much more than a leap forward in robotics – they are seeing a world of even fewer jobs for human hands.
And how can I make a Robocalypse post without some of the latest robot news from Japan?
Japanese researchers build robot with most humanlike muscle-skeleton structure yet
Kenshiro is the next step for the researchers. Their previous effort resulted in a robot they called Kojiro – a robot that demonstrated the huge strides that have come in mimicking the human body, as well as the very long road yet to travel. In this new iteration, Kenshiro was preceded by a robot concept the team called Kenzoh. In that effort the team found that simply adding artificial muscle and bones generally tended to create weight problems. The upper body alone came to 45 kg. That caused the team to go back to the drawing board, this time with the idea of mimicking human bone and muscle at the individual body part level, i.e. a backbone, calf, or knee joint. Each part was custom designed to fall within the weight parameters of actual human limbs and other parts of the body.
WATCH: Japan’s Love Affair with Robots, Explained
In Japan, You Can Buy Your Kid A Giant Robot For $20,000
If you’re looking for something more classic, there’s a Giant 1950s robot Gygan up for sale.
Don’t worry, it seems like we’re still a few years off from being robot slave bitches, but I’d keep a close eye on what DARPA are getting into if I were you…
Till next time Bizarros!